isn't it crazy that you can be living your life perfectly happy, and suddenly you have a dream about something and it changes the way you feel about certain things?

for example.
when i was younger i had a crush on this girl who is a good friend of mine. i crushed on her for a good five years. by now i am a freshman in college and she is a senior in high shcool, she has a boyfriend and i have a girlfriend who i've been with for about a month. things have been going just fine and i have been over the first girl for a long time now.

but then, last night i had a dream that changed it all. i had a dream that i was with the first girl and we were perfectly happy together. she confessed her love for me and i confessed mine for her. and then we hugged, and it was the most special hug i've ever felt. i felt complete and happy.

my girlfriend was in the dream too, but she was distant and i didnt feel like she cared about me. (which is actually kind of how it is in real life too).

so now, all these feelings are stirred up. i wish we could be together, but i know it will never happen. it makes me want to cry. and on top of that, i feel bad about my girlfriend. i know i shouldnt be feeling like this. i want to love my girlfriend, but the other girl has always had a place in my heart.

i was over it. until this stupid dream. it messed up my life.

Hey phantomcgill.

You know, since your life is messed up now anyway, maybe you should tell this other girl what you just told us. Including how that all felt right to you after you woke up and thought it over.


Maybe you need to be talking with your current girlfriend, too.

Yes, I agree....you should tell the first girl how you feel ( subconciously she is obviously on your mind ) and must mean more than you might think. I think telling her might make you feel better to finally get that out. You also could tell your current girlfriend of your dream.....her reaction should tell you how much she cares ( if you are questioning that )

thanks for the advice. but the problem is, i dont think talking to her about it would make things better. you see, she knew that i liked her way back when. since i've gotten over it, she has been more comfortable around me since she doesnt have to worry about me hitting on her. we've become good friends. i feel like if i tell her about the dream, that will set everything back and i'll lose a friend in a way.

also, i like what you said about telling my girlfriend about the dream to see how much she really cares. i might have to do that. the problem is it seems like a very awkward thing to bring up. it would be a difficult conversation.

Sometimes difficult conversations are necessary. At the least you would have a better idea how she feels.

Our dreams arent always clear of their meaning ( but I think they are meant to help us ) could be your dream really meant your uncertainty with your current girlfriend....and your desire to find out where she really stands.

Hope things work out for you

thanks. i hope it all works out too.

Sometimes dreams just subconsciously open up and draw out your REAL DREAM.

then talk to your current girlfriend only

I found the harmony in this point where I am now.

i think what i'm going to do is just brush it aside and move on with my life. this choice could potentially be harmful in the longrun, but oh well.

I think dreams are based on your aquired memories and when emotions are involved can cause them to come up when you dream. When I fix my attention to something it will make me dream about it. Nothing new to you I presume but from what you tell us here I think you never were over her in the first place and maybe there is a characteristic trait the old girl has that the new girl doesnt have and that you miss.
I really dont know because i dont know your life. its just a first guess if i may.
Gizagirl has a point. If something is bothering you about this old girl it might be a good idea to talk. Its a choice brought to you in your life. If you talk to her you might get an answer to whatever it is you are bothered by. Or you leave it as it is and crop away those silly emotions. Who needs them anyways? lol j/k
The first coice is the harder one but imho the most lucrative. If you dont want to confront her, you might try a professional advisor.

If you dont tell anyone, it'll just scar your lyfe, and it'll take awhile to get it over with. (And it hurts too)

OK, update. the girl i am crushing on was just dumped by her boyfriend. cosmic coincidence? and right when i decided to shrug it all off, i don tknow what to do again. i almost feel like it was destiny for it all to work out this way. should i talk to her and tell her about my dream?

You have to ask?

I don't think that dreams change our life .
I think more that life changes our dreams.

Sama

Oh , and your post is so refreshing .. makes one remember ..
And .. i hope everything goes OK !

A little bit of both, maybe?

I like your broad mind .

thanks! i hope so too

I now think that you should talk to the girl you have a crush on and your current girlfriend ( yes, maybe your subconcious mind is trying to tell you something, that or its actually bothering you more than you know ) either way, it sure would enlighten you on the subject

good luck

thanks! i've decided that i am going to talk to the girl i have a crush on this weekend. i'm going to tell her about the dream and i'll tell her how i feel. i'll say that i would always be there for her, and i'll also say that if she really doesnt want to be with me, i'll forget about it and never bring it up again.

but no matter what happens, i think i have no choice but to break up with my current girlfriend. it wouldnt be fair to her to stay with her when i know she isnt my first choice.

Well one things for sure....you will find out if your dream was telling you what you should do ( like it was meant to be ) or it was wishful thinking on your part, and it ended up being in one of your dreams. Either way....you should tell her how you feel, there is that chance that it could work out between you two ( but you will never know unless you confront her with it ) Breaking up with your current girlfriend is solely for you to decide ( only you know what feels right, and what doesnt )
Keep us updated....it will be interesting to find out the outcome ( that started with your dream

thanks for taking an interest in my little problem here. everyone has helped a lot, but in the end i know i have to make my own decisions. i'll definitely post here again after i talk to her, and let you all know how it went. but that wont happen for a few days at least.

ok, update! (sort of)

i have written a letter/speech to the girl (her name's megan by the way) that i had the dream about. let me know what you think. will it freak her out? or will it touch her? (for reference, Zach is her brother, and my best friend. And Mike is her ex).


Dear Megan,
Remember when Zach told you to ask me about my dream last weekend?
Well, he did that as a joke to annoy me, because he knew the dream was about you.

Now, i know what you're thinking, and i'm sure you dont want to hear this
right now, but just hear me out for a minute. Megan, you and i have been friends for
like 12 years. You're a really good friend. I care about you.

Seeing you with Mike all that tame made me sad, but not because i was jealous
or anything, but because of how much, and how often, he hurt you. I want nothing
more than for you to be happy, megan. And i'm gonna say right now that if you being
happy means me backing down and never bringing this up again, I can do that. I can
move on if i have to. But just let me say this:

I know i could make you happy. I'm sure you remember when I had a crush on
you years ago. That was nothing more than a dumb, childish crush, and i got over it
a long time ago.

I've grown up a lot since then. I've matured and learned valuable lessons. I'm
not talking about a crush here. I'm not saying i'm in love with you, i'm not obsessing
over you, i'm not going to stalk you or anything like that. I'm talking about a guy who
Legitimately cares about you as a person.

I just want what's best for you, whether or not that happens to be me.

All i ask is that you think about giving me a chance to make you happy. I would
always be there for you for support when you need it; I would be someone you could
talk to about anything, and i know when to give a girl the space she needs. I'm not
overbearing or controlling, and i have become rather good at avoiding awkward moments.

I remember years ago when you said it would be weird if we got together because
we've been friends for so long, but i think that fact cuold actually help us. We already know
each other so well, it would be easy for us to understand each other, and we get along so
well together.

I promise you that if you give me a chance, one little measly chance, I will not let it
get awkward. I'll make it great for you.

But of course, if at any point you decide you dont want to be with me, i'll respect that
and back off. I respect you, megan. More than i respect most people in the world. You've
been through so much in your life. i can only imagine how hard it must have been for you.
Just know that whether you give me a chance or not, you can always talk to me. I can be
a shoulder to cry on, or someone who will just listen while you vent.

So, I leave you with the simple request that you at least think about giving me a shot.
You have my word that I would be the best boyfriend I possibly could.

Sincerely,
Your Friend Joel

It sounds good. You could always add "lets just go out one night...and see how that goes" ( like a real date or something )
Being friends should not at all get in the way.....it should even help that your friends ( I married my best friend
If she still doesnt, then she probably is just not interested in you that way. Which then would mean your dream was just wishful thinking on your part
( or telling you that you werent comfortable with the relationship you had with your current girlfriend ) If she does, well maybe it will be the start of something great....and now would be the time if it were going to happen ( and your dream was telling you to make that change )
You got to at least try though ( fear, many times can be a an emotion that "holds you back" ) and you dont want to go through life thinking "what if"
My fingers are crossed for you!

well, we've reached the end of the story. she knows i like her now, and she does not like me back, in that way. she loves me like a brother. i know this sounds like it's really sad, but i spent a lot of time hanging out with her last night and today, and we had a really good time. i am happy just being a good friend to her. i dont need more than that. there's something immensely powerful about friendship, and i'm glad i havent lost that.

what about my current girlfriend, you may ask. i think i'm still going to break up with her. it's just not going to work out.

Awww sorry it didnt work out the way you wanted ( her friendship is a good thing though )
I would say that your dream was telling you more about your current girlfriend then ( the fact that your not really happy ) and wanting out.
Thats the thing about dreams though.....you have to figure them out

yeah i think you're right. it's funny how sometimes you think you've interpreted a dream and then later you realize that maybe it wasnt quite about what you thought exactly.

hey if thats the way you feel about the first girl then if I were you...you should talk with her one on one and tell her how you really feel. Are you guys REALLY good friends??? If so, maybe it wouldn't be a good idea. But if not, SAY SOMETHING before she goes ahead and gets another boyfriend. If you don't say anything at all, I think your gonna regret it and 10 years from now you'll look back and say to yourself, "what the hell happened?"

I know! And God it's annoying/confusing/upsetting ;(

I used to have a recurring dream about "the devil" when i was younger, in my dream he looked like the scary dude from the movie "Legend" from way back with tom cruise...ANYWAYS, yea it used to freak me out, he would pull me through mirrors, and stare at me through the window and stuff... it didn't really change my life but it sure did scare the crap outta me..Click to view attachment

You got the "what it was about" part right, I think.

Dreams are thoughts. In this case, you were thinking about a situation that amply deserved some attention from you.

The dream's "happily ever after" was not a "prediction," but the recognition of a possibility. Like all thinking, dreams are better at recognizing possibility than in predicting which possibility will come to pass.

And now I tread carefully, because none of the rest of this message is my place to say. First, I think that you did the right thing in paying attention to your thoughts and acting upon them.

Second, and here I am really out of line, the jury is still out. Friendships grow and develop, sometimes leading in one direction, sometimes in another direction. Let the friendship work itself out, and while it does, accept its boundaries with openness that boundaries may change.

I think it was Barbara Walters, of all people, who observed that what makes friendships between the sexes exciting is that there is always the possibility of ... well, why there are two sexes in the first place. Don't push it, but live the adventure .

I'm glad everything went well lol
Maybe if she understands you much more better,
She might as well fall for you,
You never know lol, it just might happen

Hi, I just finished reading this thread and in my opinion, dreams can be small premonitions...With that thought, you did what was right, and if only a friendship continues with the "girl of your dreams", that is fine...As for your current girlfriend, (and I may have missed something in the thread), I would think that staying with her is a mistake...You have had your doubts, and I don't think it would be fair to her...Anyway, good luck with whatever choices you make...

Well first off do you understand what dreams are physically? Do you understand what they are metaphysically? It really just boils down to you learning who you are and what you will be satisfied with imploring after. but you have to realize what is responsible in the world youlive in as well. When you dream your neurons are trying to reorganize your stored memories and your brain is witnessing it and adding its own filler o to speak to the mis mathced memories from all of your life. So things are being catagorized and created at the same time. I will tell its just coincidence and be careful. I will also tell you it means a little more than I can tell you.

The things my dreams tell me aren't allways what I want, but they ALWAYS have an important message for me.

Yes, dreams can change your life, I know, it's happened to me. I had this dream about 3 and half - 4 years ago about someone I never even met. I remember waking up that morning in a cold, shaking sweat. I didn't really put a lot of thought into it, I just went on with my life as normal. Now about 6 months later I was at work, I was in my workplaces break room debating if I wanted to talk to a coworker I had a school boy crush on. When I went to get up, I had this strong feeling of deja vu, it felt like the ceiling caved in on me. I shook it off, got up and went outside where she was at, but just my luck, the enemy beat me to her. I hung in the background waiting for my opportunity to speak with her, but me, being the shy individual I am, I gave up and decided to wait out my lunch, and try again another day. While I was waiting a pitiful saboteur walked up to her and told her my businesses, she turned around and smiled at me, then that's when it happened, I recalled the dream I had. The dream was her turning around smiling at me (which was quite vivid), the punk to her right (a blurry shadow), people to my far left (noises and a feeling of a prescience). This dream is still on my mind, even though it wasn't meant to be a happy one, more like a warning, too bad it didn't end in a good way, I still feel like we could of had a lot in common, I guess, I'll never know.

I might be repeating myself.

It's our lives that change our dreams .

Sama

My dream could have changed my life, that's only if I knew what it meant at the time, but unfortunately I was too busy thinking positive thoughts. Wish it didn't take 3 years to figure out the deceit and hurt that was coming my way.

My mother has also had glimpses into the future. I remember my mother told me of this dream about a deceased friend she had when she was younger. She said the next day she saw his apparition at church. She also had a dream with the blue angels crashing. She got up and went through her regular day, just to see on the tv latter that day the blue angels had crashed during a show. She said her dream was exactly how she had seen it on the tv.

So yes, dreams can change your life, you just need to take a chance and let it.

Most of the time, my dreams are chaotic. Giant bundles of crap that don't make any sense. But every once in awhile, I'll have a dream that I can't quite remember when I wake up. Some time later, however, a certain event will happen in my life, and I will be able to "remember" what I saw in my dream. It just so happens that the events taking place in my life have happened again, once in the dream and once in real life. It's strange, but it feels like I'm watching the same movie over again, so I remember what happens next, then what happens after that, so on and so forth.

Unfortunately, my dreams have never predicted anything cool, just me walking down the hall or something. Bummer

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