These thoughts of content simply from quality time spent,
yet this crying and whining got me all bent; its defiantly not a God sent

the shame is in me, supersedes me yet,
I strive to keep the negativity from overwhelming me

its like a disease, brings even the strongest men to their knees
have the weakest yelping, please oh please, take them not me

well then God let my body be a tomb,
cold dark dank empty to be consumed resting place for a saint,

one that I don't envy, one that can up life me, surrender us
maybe not us, but just that...us and our souls yet a meager place

although our minds pay the toll, for our filthy taste
for the actions and words of another hurt with, so much intensity

still wonder while this madness lies within me, belittling me
love, hate these emotions consume me; can I

make it work where I'm at; or should my search for peace...continue me
no such emotion as neutral exists, why that would make my life to easy?

only me can please me; encourage me or make me happy
...so they say its the other that discourages me,

taunts me, enlightens me and haunts me there's no one to complete me,
no one to conquer me my ultimate downfall, always be me

as much as I try to blame the world for my
heart's sorrow sung out with this cry

for we come across them, yell at them curse them, to just turn away
and when we face them again, filled with such surprise again its the same maybe

surface changed, yet to the core the same, we stand there, research and even analyze, yet still its simply there to undermine the goodness, the happiness are the blocks that we lay to make us and our lives, the figments of all we despise
yes usually we do put up this fight but, give up when its hard

might we try just a little longer or fight a little harder
we will learn to live yet not necessarily with,

possibly without and there's no definite living,...just definite life