Ok let me explain my situation.

I don't want to come across as being arrogant or anything like that but I am a young man in my early twenties who has been fortunate enough to be born good looking.

If I come across an insecure negative person this can lead to b****ing or abusive comments. I am not bothered by this as I've heard it all before.
What is freaking me out is that at work there is someone who's behaviour suggests they have some sort of complex. Not only that but there behaviour is so extreme I see them as a potential nutcase.

How do you deal with someone who comes across as being obsessed with everything you do?
How do you deal with them trying to manipulate people's views regarding you?
How to you deal with them constantly trying to out-do you in everything?
Then there's back stabbing, lying, trying to put you down in other peoples company or laugh at your expense.

I ask as I want do end it but don't know how to go about it.

Do I pull them to one side when I step outside of work and put the frighteners on?
If I told them they will need a plastic surgeon if they don't back off can I get done for that?
How do people react when threatened in this way as I want to avoid a violent confrontation?

How would you solve the problem?

Complaining to a manager would make me feel stupid unless they clearly stepped over the line such as with an obusive comment.

Tell them you have become a Jehovah's Witness and watch them run.

If you dont feel comfortable or safe going directly to this person, then go a step up to management; that is what they get paid to do: manage their people. They will get it handled.

No offense, but I dont think this quite qualifies as a world event...I am going to move it to a more appropriate area...

No.



Yes.



Depends on the person.



You can talk to a manager without complaining.

buy him a drink or 2 and get him drunk, while walking past a river push him in

Large duffle bag + baseball bat = problem solved.

You forgot the hack saw dude, oh and some plastic bags. very messy

You are NOT being very helpful ... I'm suprised at y'all

Atom286 - this is a "work" situation (as opposed to an argument with the neighbours or whatever), therefore you ultimately need to alert your management team. This is PARTICULARLY true if the person in question is undermining your position in the eyes of your work colleages.

The question now becomes: how proffesional are your managers ?

You're going to have to give us some more background on your relationship with your managers, before I could offer any thoughts.

The same goes to your Trade Unions representative, if relevant.

IN either case... one possible approach is - rather than going to them and saying "I have a complaint", how about approaching them and saying " I have a problem... could you advise me on the best way of dealing with it"... in either case, not mentioning the troublemaker by name.

Just a thought.

Meow Purr.

it sounds like if you was a bar of chocolate you'd eat yourself, i myself was born just ordinary, but i get better looking everyday, so i cant wait for tomorrow,

That wasn't very helpful

Hiss Growl

Be nice to him, it'll confuse him and he might change.

Failing that... -I hear professional hitmen are quite cheap.
I'm only kidding..I'm only kidding people
They're not that cheap...

This is the kind of stuff people who are not born naturally good-looking deal with every day.

I second the vote for talking with (not complaining to) your manager. That is what he or she is there for, and it is the adult thing to do. Do not let yourself get pulled down to the other's level.

The best experiences i've had with this is clearly when i put my feelings aside and really try to get under the skin of whoever was harrasing me. Get a nice one on one talk and don't go to his level of idiocy. Be the bigger man and ask gently how you and him together can work to solve this negative pattern you have fallen into.
Ask him what it actually is that bothers him and work out a compromise together on how not to annoy eachother.

In rare cases some people are just too "out of reach" and then you go to management.

IMO going to management right away might only make it worse. Grabbing the very root of a problem can really be a much more satisfying experience than "getting revenge".

Ok ok ok... lets start from the top, how good looking are you? Really, really, ridiculously good looking? If so theres nothing that can be done, there will always be haters

And if you are concerned with getting in trouble for laying down the beats then throw fake punches at him whenever he says something to make him flinch and then point and laugh at him... hopefully with lots of girls around. Or you can make references to the huge crush he has on you whenever he makes a stupid remark... I dunno maybe take his pet hostage

I feel your pain brother. It is not easy.

Edit: So I can't read correctly, mm'k - lol.

Nevermind.

Or be a jackass back. It's rewarding.

maybe the guy isn't insecure and you maybe getting better treatment being 'better looking' - that wouldn't be fair.

Face value
Hidden camera investigation: Do looks really matter?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3917414/

You don't work at a girls high school by any chance do you?

It sounds to me as if you just plain and simple don't like this person, working (or any such activity like studying) may land you in situations with people you are not fond of, it's an unavoidable part of life and you just have to learn to deal with it, your assessment sounds a little dramatic to say the very least.

If things really are that bad, than simply swallow your pride and speak to your manager about it.

Just move on bud, move on...

ok, firstly you need to look beyond yourself, I am sure he had problems before you showed up. He might have always been like that and you might not be his main problem, you just contribute to his reaction towards how he thinks. He just has a wierd way of dealing with it.

Hmmm, interesting thread.

First remember that anywhere you work there is going to be at least one person you have friction with; that's a given. So, if I'm reading this right you two are on the same level at your company? There are times when others are outragiousy jealous and threatened they will do ANYTHING to make that person look or feel badly.

To be honest, has anyone else noticed? Or is this an "on-the-sly" thing? Ugh some people are just horses behinds.

I think this may be more of a power struggle rather than a looks kind of thing. Do you excel more in your position than this other person?

When I was in the land of the corporates I dealt with many like this and to be honest; I would ignore to no end. Nothing worse than someone succeeding in getting you off track of what you're actually supposed to be accomplishing.

Subtle retorts can be stimulating as well like hmmm... who died and made you king? did you actually look in the mirror when you dressed this morning? wow I had those shoes when they were in style 10 years ago! I think you understand what I'm saying here.

Laugh... laugh at the person out loud and in their face. Laughing is a beautiful response.

I would never suggest leaving a 2 day old fish hidden in their desk drawer or anything - that may be too harsh depending on the seating and office set up... Mr. Stinky Fish Man would be a good name.

Oh, I'm getting bad so I must stop. I did read something somewhere....

From Insane lists dot com

ONLY USE IN EMERGENCY SITUATIONS:

Talk loudly while on the phone if it's a business call so they ALL know you're working.

Put a piece of clear tape over the bottom of their mouse to stop the ball from moving. See how long it takes them to figure it out.

Hum songs like 'Mary had a little lamb' until they subconsciously pick it up and start humming too.

Spike the coffee with salt, and mix in some salt in with the sugar.

Collect dead things like flies in a jar and keep it on your desk. It will be sure to gross out someone.

Insist on being addressed by your job title instead of your name.

When a coworker approaches, pick up the phone and start talking. If they try to talk to you anyway, roll your eyes and say into the phone, "Can you hold on for a moment, I have a really rude coworker trying to talk to me when I'm clearly on the phone." Then stare at the coworker annoyed and demand to be told what was so important that you had to put someone on hold for.

Don't wear deodorant so you stink, or drench yourself in perfume/aftershave.

Prank call your coworkers by phoning and hanging up. This works best when they are across the room and have to run for the phone.

Leave plastic figurines on their desk when they're not looking.

If they bump into you or have any sort of contact with you, glare at them and mutter something about sexual harassment in the workplace.

Send them memos every hour to keep them posted on what you're doing, or what they should be doing.

Respond to everything they say with a question, and when possible, work in 'Is this good for the company?'

Have your email set to emit a stupid sound when new messages arrive. Crank up the sound, go to another part of the office where you won't be seen, and start emailing yourself.

Use the intercom/paging system to ask a coworker to contact you instead of just phoning them directly, or turning your chair to just talk to them. (This works really well if their desk is beside yours.)

Ask someone to do something for you, and tell them how to do it. Then when you return, say they did it wrong and do it a completely different way then you had told them.

Mess up the settings on their monitor.

Replace all their pens with empty or leaking pens.

Start wearing really odd clothing and see how long it takes for someone to say something.

If you don't have uniforms, begin a petition to bring them into the company. Suggest really awful uniforms and see how many people will actually agree to them. (Create sketches to show them the suggested new uniforms.)

Type as loudly as you can and sigh loudly when you need to use the backspace key.

Sing badly and off key but do it only around specific coworkers, and only when THEY can hear you.

Think up new forms for them to complete and revise them each week.

Insist that everything be submitted to you in writing on the proper forms, even if they're just asking you how you are today. (Create 'greeting' forms etc that they must use.)

Get new procedures passed at meetings and then, after two weeks, find a new way to do it but don't tell anyone.

When someone uses the old system say 'We don't do it that way anymore. Weren't you at the meeting?'

Lose their expense forms or repeatedly make errors on their expenses/pay.

Create an official sign in/out sheet for the bathrooms. See if anyone uses them.

Take awful poo's in the bathroom and leave it to stink up the place. If someone complains, burst into tears and claim you have 'a problem' and you're sensitive about it.

Adopt accents and talk with them for a few weeks at a time. Fun accents to try, Russian, German, British, French. If possible, mix them all together.

Do their job for them when they're not looking, and then give them poo for doing a lousy job.

Talk to yourself when others can overhear you but make it all business jargon.

Mimic them whenever they say anything.

Repeat everything they say as a question. ("Have you seen these reports?" "Have I seen those reports?" "I gave them to you last week." "You gave them to me last week?")

Link all their paperclips together.

Bend all their staples so they don't work right in the stapler.

Collect the paper bits from the hole-puncher and throw it around their desk.

Have really stinky food for lunch.

Sniff them. Try to determine what they smell like, and compare it to the way they smelt the last time you sniffed them.

Smile at them non-stop, especially on days where they're feeling stressed.

Send them messages thanking them for being a special person, and that you truly appreciate all the work they do.

Wear completely bizarre outfits in the brightest colors you can possibly find. If someone comments, claim your handicapped neice/nephew made it for you and that you think they're an awful person to be making fun of handicapped people.

=================================================

No, really those were just for fun. Good luck Jody

Is the person you are speaking of male or female? Seems like most assume it is a male...I'm unsure. What prompted this situation to occur in the first place???

All I can add is to tell you what always works for me, and it's totally up to you whether or not you'd like to try it. I call people out, and never hesitate whenever this action is necessary. It's not like I get into their face agressively, I just tell it like it is, no matter who is around. It's much like (for a visual effect) ripping off a band-aid in one quick whoosh. Why continue to let anything drag on by slowly and painfully when dealing with an undesirable situation that another has created? Nip it in the bud quick...that's always been my stance. Of course, I do have the common sense to pick my battles! There are times whenever the best strategy is to allow the other to eventually expose/hang themselves.

I still can't help but feel you've left an important part out - your part.

is it they don't like you for your looks ? could your looks be getting you things you don't deserve ?attention you don't deserve from bosses who should remain fair and neutral ? it happens all the time and that would make others insecure and with good right to be defensive.

rarely does someone not like someone else for no reason. if anything , had there been no reason , they would not care.

There is always 2 sides to every coin and we have only seen one. yours.

This is actually what I do. Compliment them about completely stupid things - hey, that tie really goes great with that shirt... And be condescendingly nice. And always look them in the eye, then keep looking at them after they've stopped talking like you're expecting more, that makes people really uncomfortable. It's worked for me on a few occasions, and it keeps you out of trouble. Either they'll give up trying to get a rise out of you, or they'll leave you alone because they can't figure out if you're being serious or insulting them.

Talking to management was a good idea too, but as others have mentioned it depends on the environment and if others have issues with him as well.

ok, my boring peice of advice first.

Turn the other cheek man, and just show the person/ all people love and kindness, always be nice to him/her/everyone, number 1 it will make them think twice, number 2 it sets a good example and number 3 it will show the guy up to the people around you. If you are someone thats nice to everyone, then they are bound to question anything spoken out against you that isnt inkeeping with your character (nice). Which takes me to the next point.

Give your colleagues some credit. It is highly possible that they have spotted these things too and if this guy does b**** about you and sh*t stir, they are probably aware that he or she is doing so. If your colleagues believe stuff this guy are saying then thats their problem and i would try to rise above it. I think that management should be notified if working relationships affect the quality of your work.

Dont whatever you do get aggressive with this guy!!! Physically or verbally

That will most definately give him ammunition and put your job at jepordy!

If you were thinking seriously about doing this, spin the table and imagine how this would appear to him...YOU would suddenly become the "bad" guy who is making things difficult for him, when in actual fact its the other way round init!!

Now, the practical advice.

The key word here is accountability. You said that this guy was saying you were doing things wrong and going behind your back telling lies? Just make sure you always have a witness to everything you do. Tell someone what you are doing, just a conversational way, or official, depends on the job but this is a constructive way of 1) showing people how reliable you are and 2) showing people that he is talking out of his a*se by creating an aliby, you could even make the person you account your actions to, one of the people you think he might be sh*t stirring about you with to help show him up.

Yeah, thats my lot, NICE ONE

nn23

I'm going to use one of my emergency tatics when Ive been desperate in situations like these.
It takes no words, and not to be used unless absolutely neccessary.
Place an alkeseltzer in your mouth and sip a bit of water. This will cause you to foam at the mouth. In whatever situation, place yourself in the other persons shoes and you tell me if the person would want to persist anything after.

Abecrombie
P.S nice is always better.

You fool that is not a mirror you are looking in but a portrait of me...



Tell him him he is allowed to lick your chair after you have finished sitting on it.



Punch him in the nose .



Tell them or him in a dramatic deep toned voice like in the movies that even if he does manage to out do you that there is one man one great and powerful man named (chaoszerg) who can never be out done....NEVER.



Are you sure this person is a guy because it sounds like my mother in law.



Tell him you see dead sheep and that they speak to you then proceed to lick windows that should scare em off or get you locked up in a nice padded cell.