I am a christian like many know, but i have a strong sense of humor. So let me explain a few powers christians have:

1. We have the ability to fly

2. we can shoot lazer beams from our eyes

3. we communicate to eachother through invisible antenne (who needs cell phones?)

4. When we ask WWJD, Jesus asks, What would chuck norris do?

5. We can turn toilets into gold.


got any funny facts about your religon?

(remember, this is not meant to be offencive, just good old-fashioned fun. i am new to the forums so if this violates any rules, please remove it)

I like the old but good one about the dyslexic agnostic who wonders if there really is a dog.

good news/bad news for minsiters



Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

wow, thats amazingly not funny.

that wasnt funny, or i dont get it either one.

I think the devil, just like with music has got the best jokes...

Muslim fundamentalist.
Good News: My nagging wife has just left me!
Bad News: I'm going to have to pour a jug of hot boiling oil, all over her face..

dear red pill.In term's of having a strong sense of humor,i think you had better not leave your day job(assuming you have one)!

Yep that is true..

LMFAO im on the floor, jesus billy you trying to kill me? that is one hilarious pic. is it sid bogle?

wow im begining to believe in jesus powers, for our father who art in heaven, HOW DO YOU DO THAT CROSS THING ON THE CHEST, ARRGGGHHHHH jesus is gonna burn me with his lazer eyes

I've been out done! class...