Granted, but now you can't decipher anything else.

I wish I had nightvision.

Granted, but now lights blind you

I wish I was done editing this wedding video.

Granted, but as soon as you finish it, someone tapes over it.

I wish for a brick of gold.

Ok, wish granted but it falls out a 20 story window and lands on your head.

I wish my boss gave me more time off.

Granted but he fires you for photo copying your ass all day!!


I wish I had a 12 Inch manservant.

Granted, but he secretly molests you your sleep.

I wish it was summer again.

Granted, but it's a very cold summer.

I wish I owned a Maserati.

Granted, but you be my personal driver.


I wish i had a martini .. actually i wish i had a bottle of vodka.

Granted, but you got so drunk I took off in your Maserati

I wish I had some warmer clothes on for when I leave work.

Granted, but a loose thread gets caught as you're walking and by the time you reach work your clothes have unravelled.

I wish I could fly to the shops now instead of having to walk

Granted, but you fly so slow the shops are closed.


I wish I could get drunk out here.

Granted but you puke and pass out in it.

I wish I had a maid.

Granted but she steals all your belongings and runs off with your fella

i wish i had a winning lottery ticket

granted but is too late to cash it in.

i wish i could teleport.

Granted, but you teleport into a wall and you are stuck in there.

I wish I could teleport safely, without anything going wrong

Granted, but you teleported into a prison cell. For ten long years, your teleporting skills do not work any further in this enclosed environment.

I wish I had a bus.

Granted but it runs you over flat


I wish that any wishes I make will never go wrong.



Edit: Had to change granted wish lol.

Granted, but I happen to be an atheist genie(who just got run over by a bus), and right or wrong ultimately does not exist... so my bus runs you over flat.

I wish I could read.

but if you could read you would see our sad state of affairs...i wish i had wings

Granted! But your wings are made of lead.

I wish that we could all live in peace

Granted, but the only reason there is peace is because everyone is too scared to rise up against the oppressive higher power who enslaves us and keeps us drugged and void of any emotion.


I wish I was happy (corrupt that one!!!)

Granted, but this guy over here gets mad at this guy over there for being more peaceful than he is, so he beats him up.

I wish I was fishing.

Granted, but your smile gets stuck, and you look like a crazed clown.

i wish I had 11 toes.

Granted! But that one extra toe is speaking to you and making you do evil things.

I wish I had a polar bear. (It's going to eat me, isn't it..... )

Granted, but it's actually a guy in a suit who watches you while you sleep

I wish I had free plane ticket to anywhere in the world

Granted, but the flight you choose will crash.

I wish I had a REAL polar bear, one that isn't aggresive and will not harm me in any way.

Granted, but your bear gives you a non-aggressive, seemingly harmless hug and accidentally smooshes you



I wish I had a burger

Aww.... well I'll love him anyway!

Granted, but the burger is made of cockroach meat, and there's no buns/lettuce/sauce or anything.

EDIT: Oops, forgot to make a wish. I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted, but you wish for a giant manservant and he turns out to be big, ugly and in love with you.

I wish I had someone to cook me breakfast.

Granted but it's ME and by the time we get done ******* your pancakes are cold!!


I wish I could see around corners....

Granted, but your eyes are now detached from your body.

I wish my pancakes were growing cold right now.

Granted but they are getting cold because your roof has been sucked off by a twister!


I wish the baby Jesus a very happy birthday for next week.

Granted! but in 30 years or so some jerks are gonna nail him to a cross.

I wish I was Wonder Woman.

Granted........ looking good!!!




I wish I could read minds

Granted, but because minds do not have words written on them it's not much use.

I wish no one ever had to get sticky nose.

I wish I was happy (corrupt that one!!!)



Granted, but your smile gets stuck, and you look like a crazed clown.


LMAO - i like that

5 points

Granted but you have to pick everyone's noses clean so they don't get sticky.

I wish people would all start making nice wishes for me.

Granted, but you have no control over it and end up hearing the perverse sexual thoughts of everyone in your family including nana.


I wish i could eat whatever i wanted and always stay the same weight i am now.

Granted but all the scales in the world will be broken and show you the same weight.


I wish I had a undead army to crush my enemies.

Granted but you are kinda heavy


I wish I had a magic gun that could make a womans clothes fall off!!

granted but it also makes the flesh fall from their bones.

i wish i could swim underwater without holding my breath, like a fish.

Granted, but you accidentally point it at me (see picture above), and my wonder woman costume falls off.

I wish I was a fish.

Granted, but all the women in the world are REALLY fat and REALLY ugly...

I wish my puppy didn't keep chewing things up!

Granted, but only because all his teeth fall out and never grow back, so you have to spoon feed him mooshy food for the rest of his life.

I wish I could lay in bed all day while someone else did everything.

granted but you are in a coma.

i wish i had a higher metabolism.

Granted but it is only stopped because he gets eaten by a bigger dog.


I wish more people would take part in this.

Granted, but it's because all of your limbs have fallen off. You're a big stump.


I wish i had someone to drive me to the T-Mobile store then to the mall & back.

Granted, but you now look like the male version of this & it's impossible to gain weight 'cause of your very fast metabolism.

http://s52.photobucket.com/albums/g24/imse...rent=skinny.jpg


I don't even have a wish, I'm having fun currupting yours.

LOL at Stump...

Granted but they just drive you and don't stop so you don't achieve anything...

Wish I didn't have to work until New Year...

Granted, but it's because you are too sick to work.

I wish I was ten years younger.