Granted but the lettuce went bad.

i wish i had 50 cents...

granted, but the 50 cents are from Uruguayan currency.

I wish I could automatically get an A on my mathematics/statistics finals next week.

Granted, but you are then caught for cheating and expelled.

I wish everything wasn't getting so damn expensive...

granted, the minimal or no inflation will increase unemployment and you unluckily get laid off.

I wish I could be great at the bar scene.

granted. The bar is rotten

I wish i had a rabbit

Granted but its made from chocolate from Easter and it has a one ear bitten off already.

I wish for another cup of coffee

GRANTED,BUT SOMEONE IN YOUR OFFICE PEED IN IT AND YOU DONT FIND OUT TILL AFTER YOU DRINK IT.

I WISH I HAD A PLANE TICKET SO I COULD GO BE WITH MY GIRL. (AND MY GIRL IS NOT ROSIE O DONNALD!)


P.S. SORRY FOR CAPS

Granted, but when you get there Rosie O Donald is sleeping with your girl.

I wish to never witness such a thing as I just described.

Granted Crt.... Im not even going to corrupt that one.

I wish that Rosie O'donnnel Jokes would work there way out of this thread...

Granted, but Rosie O'donnel now tells the jokes.

I wish I had 6 fewer brothers.

Granted, but they are replaced with 12 sisters, and you have to share a bathroom with them.

I wish I had more Boo Berry cereal.

lol. Granted but the cereal becomes ghost that shouts boo at you.

I wish people would learn how to not ring the doorbell.

Granted! But now they throw rocks at your windows to see if your home...

I wished the pizza guy could deliver a HOT pizza just once

granted, but it burns your taste buds off!

i wish i didn't have to work tomorrow

Granted. Your entire family dies and you get leave. (Kinda cruel thing to say, but meh...)

I wish I would win the lottery.

Granted! But the IRS sends you a bill for three times the amount you just won, GRADULATION!

I wished I was 21 yrs old again...

Granted but you cant eve rleave your overprotective mother...
I wish for some cofeee...

Granted but its made from Civet coffee beans.

I wish for a pet squirrel.

granted but it knaws for your thumbs

i wish i had a pet dragon

granted but this dragon doesn't really exist and your actually sitting in an insane asylum.

i wish i could talk backwards.

granted but when you sing song, you have satanic words because most song are like that

i wish i had some pizza

granted you have "some" pizza in fact its a piece of ham from one with a little base stuck to it

I wish my chair wasn't broken

Granted but now something els of yours has broken.

I wish I had a DeLorean car.

Granted, but it's a piece of junk and doesn't start and can't be fixed.

I wish my house would remain spotless so I didn't have to clean it every single Sunday.

Granted but you cant afford the house anymore and it is taken away.

I wish i wasn't so boreeed...!

Granted, but you can only get over your boredome by jumping off a cliff, which you decide to do.

I wish I had a hot girlfreind.

Granted but now you are attracted to a hot boyfriend

I wish I was sitting on the beach looking at the waves in the moonlight.

Granted but the beach is covered in medical waste.

I wish Paris Hilton was never famous.

Granted, she lost appeal after you knocked her up. *rimshot*

I wish I had a chicken finger sub.

Granted although it is chicken theres a human "finger" in your sub

I wish i didnt feel so alone

Granted

thousands of people now follow you wherever you go, and ignore all of your requests for privacy

I wish I had a tin of Red-bull

^granted ....but then it grows wings and flys away? (can't remember how the commercials go)

i wish to never get sick again

noooooo

granted,you died

i wish i owned a tank,so i could run over rosie o donald with it,lmao

Granted but her Mass and Dexterity is to impenatrable... She rips the lid off the tank hulk-style and eats you...
I wish for a Caramilk Bar...

Granted.

It passed it's sell-by date several decades ago...

I wish Someone would come around this weekend, i'm gettin' bored

Granted but it is Lucifer and you spend the weekend fighting for your soul.

I wish my air conditioner worked faster.

Granted but it goes into overdrive and you freeze...
I wish my car worked...

Granted..but then you cant stop..ohh noo the brakes!!!!

LOL Just kidding

I wish my back wouldnt hurt....

granted but the treatment has a side effect of extreme hair growth lol sorry had to cos your a woman please dont harm me XD

emmmmm i wish for a harrier lol

Granted but the engines cut out over the Mariana Trench, luckily you punch out just in time only to land in the shark infested waters... Good swimming!
(sorry that was just nasty...)

I wish for a money tree!!! (that nobody else knows about and that cannot die or be cut down...)

Granted. But only foreign currency grows from it.

I wish I was in a Metal band.

Granted. Unfortunately, the wish granter took your request literaly and you are now in a band of bronze statues.

I wish I had (even) better exam results

Only because you cheated and got caught.
I wish for some chicken...

omg,lmao

granted,but its alive and has bird flu

i wish there were no more mean people on earth

Granted, so... Bye-Bye! lol
I wish for a can of Raid...

I wish I had been born a "free-man" with a little money, a good sense of humor (i.e. able to make good jokes), and some good connections to Senators during the Roman Empire. Seems to me that a little cash, astute brain-power, and some political connections could land you a really cool life under Augustus. The Romans didn't care about hue of skin. At their best, they cared about contribution to Rome, self-improvement, and "philanthropy." Augustus was cool! I think I could have had an awesome time in Rome - given the aforementioned head start!

1st Edit: Some of you might have a comeback that my wish is timeless (i.e. I could pull it off in the U.S. or elsewhere). I guarantee you, having experienced corporate racism in America - American corporate (maybe Nazi) hierarchy is more concerned "about hue of skin" than about the other aforementioned issues. That's the crux of the matter.

...lmb

Granted but your secretley hated and backstabbed by the politicians. Not allowed in certain country clubs, and constantly smell of parmesan cheese.
I wish.... for my last wish to be corrupted...

heyyyyy

fine ill corrupt your last wish

i wish my dog behaved better(not worse)lol

Granted, but the can of raid that no one else felt like corrupting is completely empty.



No, you didn't corrupt any wish here You just made your own To which I say....

GRANTED! but only towards other people. It mauls you near to death. Awwww....



I wish I looked the same as I do now, but had the strength of the hulk.

Granted, but you cannot control your strength and you have to stay away from everyone, everything you love.

I wish I had a good book.