Granted but its warm beer.
I wish I knew for a fact that there is an afterlife.

Granted, because you died and went to the bad side.

I wish for a f16 loaded up with all it fuel.

Granted... An avalanche of salt and lemons suffocates you...

I wish I Was better looking...

Granted, but you become invisable to anyone attractive to you and ugly chicks follow you everywhere.

I wish I had Logic 8.

Granted, but by the fact i don't know what that is, a elephant pops into your living room

i wish this time the movers don't break all our stuff.

Granted, but the end up moving it to another house and which it becomes LOST.



I Wish I had a job that pays 50$ a hour...!

Not again! That's why I'm repairing it in the first place.



Granted, but it involves cleaning out sewage systems with your bare hands while dressed as a ballerina.

I wish I could drive again.

granted but u hit a tree

i wish i had a pet goat

Granted but it eats all your clothes.

I wish I could meet David Bowie.

Granted, but it eats your hair and everything in your house

I wish i had a hot tub.

I'll be greedy here....heh heh...



Granted, but he confuses you with being a stalker and has you sent to prison for 30 years.




Granted, but the first friend you have over for a hot tub party does the technicolor yawn* in it.



*That means "to vomit" for the uninitiated.

No wish for me to corrupt, no corruption for you.

I wish that Pro Tools was not the industry standard for recording software.

Oops...I thought I forgot something.



Granted, but the new software will be twice as expensive and four times more difficult to use.

I wish my friends would bring over some beer and a new movie to watch.

Granted but they drink it all when you go to the bathroom, and the movie is PeeWee Herman's big adventurs.

I wish my kids could learn by osmosis.

Granted but they learn all your bad habits as well...

I wish I had a planet named after me

Granted, but it's the planet that will smash into earth and destroy almost every living thing, leaving the survivors cursing it for all time.

I wish I was eating pie right now.

Granted, but an alien soon after eats your head...

I wish I had a stripper costume

Granted, now no strippers come near you.

I wish for an emmy

Granted, but it's made of chocolate, and you eat it.

I wish for 17 hot wives who like sex

(looks like I win either way with the emmy)
Granted but they are men in disguise.

I wish for an apple tree

Granted! But they they where Granny Smiths and they where chalky.

I wish to have dinner with Tommy Lee and a Remote Controler.

Granted, but the remote controller kills Tommy.

I wish I was a baby

Granted. But you are denied subscription to "Big Babies Are Us", bigbabiesareus.com and all franchize. Sorry bubba. lol

I wish I could go north fishing.

Granted, but you boat sinks!
I wish I had secret eyes in the back of my head.

granted but it replaces your brain

i wish i had a third arm

Granted... You have a third arm, cas that wouldn't look wierd at all....

I wish for a third arm too, so I can High five ufo guy...

Granted..But the third arm has elephantitis

I wish i had a box of chocolates.

Granted. But they where all peppermint and spermint. "doh"

I wish I had a wooly sheep skin and slippers to go with. "brrrr"

Granted but the sheep it came off of is hauting you. You continue to smell dirty sweaty sheep, and there is a spider in the slippers.

I wish I were in Florida.

Granted but you get deported to cuba.

I wish i could jump higher

granted. you hit your head on the roof.

I wish I was stronger.

Granted, but you get your strength in the form of stupidity.

I wish I could write a good chorus for a song I am working on.

Granted, but nobody likes your band and the song doesn't gain notoriety until a good band covers it a decade later. Everyone thinks they wrote it and they do not deny this.

I wish I had a life.

granted but you die of over exastion

i wish i could fly

Granted, but you cannot control your flight so you constantly are running into things.
I wish smoking caused no cancer or diseases.

Granted you suffocate from lack of oxygen though.
I wish I didn't have to work out every day but I still got the same results.

Granted, but you shrink half an inch every day!
I wish I had telekinetic powers.

Granted though you accidentaly do the 'Darth Vader choke' attack on yourself and die from suffocation.

I wish I could be smart and prettier then The Plastics (girl gang at my school who are super pretty,super stoopid and wear more make-up then a clown yet boys drool oceans over them!)

The Plastics are now referred to as The Metals, as they have become obsessed with Disturbed, Korn, and Atreyu. All they do is dress Goth, and talk about grunge... Does that work?

I wish for that new Disturbed album...

granted, but it will be there last album ever

i wish i didnt have to go the the gym and could achieve the same workout just by thought.

Granted but you get so buff you resemble King Kong and end up scaring people who look at you.


I wish I had a 'Death Note' notebook! *only if you know what Death Note anime is about can you answer this*

* i kinda know*

Granted you accidently write your own name .....* actually i dont know*

Anyway i wish i had infinity wishes

granted but you can only wish for head aches

i wish i never made this wish

Um, granted, instead you wished that money could answer all life problems, and that gabolai was a billionare.

I wish Elite's wish comes true.

granted Elite wishes a wish that was never wished or never was....Elite never was too.

I wish I could learn to fly a plane overnight so I could work as a plane person who goes woosh in the air to sunny beach thing. YAY

granted
but you do this and once you get to this beach thing everyone pelts you with rotten fish for being late then on your way home the stench of fish attracts a nearby street gang of cats who slice you up luckily your still alive so you call for help but then a guy carrying a bag of salt hears you and runs to help you but he accidentally drops his salt all over you then finally you die of a heart attack from the agonising pain of the salt in your deep cuts

i wish for a ferrari made of gold that never breaks down

Granted, but it runs on gold as well.

I wish for a bag of bright green.... M&Ms

Granted, but that wasn't their original color

I wish I had a bag of nice, non-spoiled, caramel Hersey's kisses to get sent out to me.

granted they are sent to you by mistake. The person they were supposed to go to comes around to your house and beats you up


I wish that now i have a quit my job I get another job quickly that pays well and is a nice environment to work in.

granted
but the reason you had to quit your job is because you were in a car crash and that crash made you turn into a mentally degraded drooling idiot
and the new job you got was as a shut in living on benefits from the goverment

i wish i had a box that when i turn upside down money falls out the right kind of money for where ever i am