Well judging by your posts you are only about 14 years old so I guess that would make you minus 4!!!! So, granted.


I wish I was invisible

Granted!

I wish I had more time.

Granted. I will give you all the time I have left on this earth.


The above is also my wish.

Granted, but you find out that the next plane of existance consists soley of old folks Bingo and mashed peas.... NOTHING ELSE.

I wish my friends were reliable.

Granted. But your family would become unreliable.

I wish Windows Vista didn't suck so badly.

Granted, but now everything else on your computer sucks.

I wish all unexplained mysteries were explained

Granted, but only the Japanese Edition is available.


I wish it was friday.

Granted, but you have a Saturday morning class. (oh wait thats me)

I wish I didn't have a Saturday morning class.

Granted, it has been switched to lunch time on Saturday.

I wish I had less time.

Granted but the time you have left will be spent listening to William Hung singing she bangs.

I wish I had some Heineken.

Granted, but it tastes like urine.

I wish I never had to use the bathroom again.

Granted but now you have to throw up all of your bodily waste.

I wish I was a mermaid.

Granted but you'll have the head of a fish and lower half of a human.



I wish that I will get everything I asked for, for Christmas.

Granted, but while you were asleep your subconscious asked for a sexchange.

I wish that we could have peace in the Middle East

Granted, but while peace was being settled the situation in S. Korea blew up and nukes are being deployed.

I wish I had a Dr. Pepper.

Granted. Problem is, this Dr. Pepper only exists in one dimension.

I wish that I could go straighten my hair.

Granted but after you get it straight it all falls out.

I wish I could run like a cheetah.

But running that fast, you run off a cliff.

I wish I could teleport.

Granted, but you have no control over where you end up and accidently teleport into the middle of deep space.

I wish I had more Blue Moon.

Granted, but it's poisoned and you die. I wish i was more impulsive.

I'm surprised that this thread isn't closed yet there was this exact topic a while ago and it got closed almost instantly.

Granted but your so impulsive, you buy tnt and you explode.

I wish that there were potatoes dressed up as ninjas.

how would that happen? TNT is incredibly stable, plus where would i buy it?

granted, but someone sees you dressing up potatoes as ninja and forces you to go to a psychologist who prescribes you anti-depressants and you kill yourself.

you're not suppose to think about things like that. Since you didn't wish for anything, I'll answer potato_ninja


Granted, but you now have to pick pieces of black material out of your Shepherd's Pie

I wish this storm would start already

Granted, But it will be an Ice strom. I wish I knew what i was doing.

Granted, but the moral implications drive you insane and you kill yourself. I wish my family was dead. (try to corrupt that!)

Granted but they come back from the dead as zombies and eat your brains.

I wish I had some sea monkeys.

granted, but you trip and run head first into the shelf that they are on blackout and the tank tips over and the water flows into your lungs and drowns you. I wish i was dead.

Granted but your after life is the same as this one.

I wish I could pee standing up.

Granted but your pee turns into acid and your both of your legs melt.

I wish it was Christmas and that I got a mutated pony made of potatoes.

Granted but your potato pony rots and turns into a pile of smelly mush.

I wish I had some playdough cause it smells so good.

Granted but it mutates and turn you into a play dough monster.

I wish i had some moldy socks.

granted, but the mold is toxic and you die. i wish this thread would end.

Granted, but it is on a loop. I wish I could see my family

Granted, but now you're invisible and they can't see you

I wish I had the energy to get up and get a Pepsi

Granted, but the Pepsi is flat.

I wish I can have a jetpack!

granted but you run out fuel mid air 6 ft off the ground and you break your bottom.

I wish I had an icecream

Granted, but the icecream is horse-radish-and-rotten-egg flavored.

I wish I had more time.

granted you have all the time in the world but sadly you do not age and must watch all humainty die out leaving you alone in the universe.

I wish i was married to milo Ventimiglia

Granted, but you push him off a building to see if he really can fly... and he can't

I wish my stomach ache would go away

granted, but now you have a cluster headache. i wish for nothing.

Granted, I hope you like the box it came in.

I wish it would quit raining.

granted, but it's already flood and wipe out your house

i wish i never pay taxes

Granted, you didn't and now you're serving 20 years for defrauding the government.

I wish that Global Warming could be solved , but we still get to drive our cars everywhere!

Granted, but as the human population grows the number of cars grows too! The world ends up totally encased in asphalt (one immense, spherical parking lot).

I wish I could improvise fabulous jazz on my fiddle.

Granted, but the whole world wil turn deaf so no one can hear it.

I wish all the Misfits would reunite.

granted , but they only play country songs

i wish i had 5 wife

Granted, but they shop all day and nag you all night!
I wish they would fix my apt. already!

granted, but they leave a nail exposed which you step on and fall backwards and as you're falling you rip an outlet out of the wall, which short circuits and causes a fire. you cannot escape because your foot is stuck on the nail and you slowly burn to death. c ,cod yday mf t.fxrape dao yd. lprl.p nafrgy (how can you corrupt a wish that you can't understand?)

Hmm, whatever it is, granted. But you get a pie thrown in your face.

I wish I had a secret underwater lair.

Granted, but it floods.

I wish I got something really good for christmas.