granted but after one day of holiday your time will get transported forward and you will be home again

i wish i could eat a book

Granted, but then you have papercuts in your mouth and throat, and all there is to drink is lemon juice (too harsh? )

I wish I could punch through a wall.

Granted, your fist is now broken.

I wish the world wasn't built on money.

granted, but now it is built on poo

I wish I had a cell phone.....mines lost

Granted, here's mine, it's broken.

I wish I had a cellphone, I gave mine to raver.

Granted you get the cellphone I stole from raver (it's still broken lol)
I wish I could be in the new X-Files movie

Granted, but you're the nobody-extra who accompanies the main characters and, naturally, dies first

I wish I wasn't so wired and could fall asleep


that was great

Granted but you are now in a coma.

I wish people will love each other, as a true friend.

Granted, but every one becomes VERY family oriented so they don't ever hang out.

I wish i karate chopped those people that stole my phone

Granted, but they're police officers and you get arrested.

I wish I didn't have the messiest nose bleed ever last night.

Granted, but the blood finds another... outlet

I wish I had a Krispy Kreme donut

Granted, you have no nose at all... I wish I have 3 wishes

nah kidding... I wish I have a cup of java

granted but no coffee or milk, and you have to watch mystly with theirs


Granted but you get no donuts or breakfasty pastries. and you have to watch natalie with theirs.


i wish that I didn't have to have boogers. haha.

good thing I prefer beer with my KK's

Granted, but now you have cockroaches squeezing out every so often

I wish this cool change would hurry up and come cause I'm melting

I wish I had unlimited wishes that were un-corruptable

Granted, but you have to wish your wishes in an unknown language.
I wish I was a smiley

Granted, but it's this one....



I wish I was a girl

Granted.................. ....... .......


I wish I had 2 inch fangs

Granted, but you are a girl with a massive thyroid problem.

I wish I was a bike riding toad.

granted...but you get kissed as you round the first turn.

I wish that I could get over pnemonia today

granted but you get an MC instead
i wish that I could sleep

Granted but you never wake up.
I wish I my bird didn't die........

Granted, but it begins attacking you...

Sorry to hear about you bird

I wish I had a pet tiger (RAAAR :3 )

Granted, but he uses your furniture as chew toys, you as a scratching post and your new car as a litter box!
I wish all my bills would be paid by some anonymous rich person who loves and admires me just because!

granted but you have to marry him.

I wish to wake

Granted, but you wake in a different body.
I wish I was a rich person, so I could pay for swtp's bills

granted but you never return to your own.

I wish i could dream of strawberries and cream

Granted but it is of a river of liquid cream and you are balancing on a strawberry heading for a waterfall (or is that creamfall?)

I want a slave that I can order to do my work for me!

granted but your slave slits your throat as you sleep.

i wish i could be in two places at once.

granted but the slave revolts and reverses the role ... haha take that slaver!!!


granted but you get into a car accident with yourself
I wish I had my own tank

Granted but it breaks down in the middle of a missile testing site

I wish I had a pen that I could not lose... (where do they all go???)

granted you never lose your pen again... because the pen-gnomes take you along with your pen
I wish the walls of my place were all aquariums

Granted, but a deer jumps through your screen door and smashes into every last one of them.

I wish my car ran on water.

Granted, but it starts to leak.

I wish I could go camping soon, that's great

Granted, you are now going camping today... but it's very cold outside.

I wish the leak in my water-powered car was fixed.

Granted. Now you can't get the lid off the the water tank to fuel it up.

I wish I knew what my fish is trying to say to me. (I can see its mouth moving but I can't hear anything)

Granted, it's saying "blub...... blub........ blub blub...... blub"

I wish everything was functioning properly with my water powered car.

Granted but now all your passengers drown in it!
I wish when i made a mug of hot chocolate, all the chocolate wouldn,t sink to the bottom of the mug!

granted but the chocolate is poisoned, you get full dose of poison.

I wish I was in Italy.

Granted, but your jailed for a crime you didn't commit.

I wish I could stop time.

granted but you fall and break your leg when your looting stores and you have to start time again to get help
I wish I could steal a UFO and go crop-touring

Granted but it breaks down at the first crop you come to. The men in black show up and accidently vaporize you. (Tough break buddy )

I wish I didn't have to cut my hair every week....

granted you go bald.

I wish I had a magic wand.

Granted, but it,s so big and heavy you need a crane to lift and wave it to cast your magic spell!
I wish Ignorance and bigotry were a thing of the past everywhere already!

Granted but all people like that die.

I wish there was a large statue of a human on all moons in the sol solar system.

(I like the book "The Engines of God" )

Granted but all the statues are of Pauly Shore
I wish I could get away with knocking the Pope's big hat off with a snowball and have him laugh at it!

Granted but the 'snowball' is a cat named Snowball and you spend the rest of your life on the lam from PETA.

I wish Hollywood would start making better movies.

Granted, but you go blind and deaf so you can,t enjoy them!
I wish men would be the ones to get pregnant, and go through 30 hours of labor without any drugs to kill the pain!

Granted, but you are now a pregnant guy, about to go through 30 hours of labor, without any drugs to kill the pain!

I wish I had a 2 inch dinosaur

Granted but it bites your fingers off.

I wish for a confirmed uninhabited but habitable world would be found in our local star systems.