Granted. But five minutes after being discovered the planet is destroyed by a meteor.

I wish I could make an uncorruptable wish

Granted but you explode and die

I wish humanity was a type II (2) civilization.

Granted, but then we'd mess it up and end up like the guy from Quantum Leap.

I wish.. i write my wish down on some paper and eat it.

The paper is rare and made out of ivy that causes constipation.

I wish I had Colin Farrel's face, and Bill Gate's Money

Granted you get them just after Bill Gate`s is robbed of all most his money and after Colin`s face was transplanted with doctor Phils face. (you wind up poor and ugly)

I wish I had an un-destroyable full case of Jones soda.

Granted but you lose the case
I wish Zekey, (my budgie) would stop pecking Azul, (my NEW budgie).

Granted, Zekey becomes blind and cant find Azul.

I wish the writer`s strike was over, I need Conan`s jokes!

granted but his jokes are worse than anything on earth

I wish for a nintendo wii that wont break down or get lost that runs on no power whatsoever and comes with all the games avable and unscratched that noone can steal that i will always enjoy playing and that i cant die as long as i have it

Granted but you only get one wish and that is more than one so now you get stuck with a broken Wii that can never be fixed.

i wish i had all the magical wishes in the world

Granted, but while your sleeping after playing non stop for five days, a hungry rat eats all your fingers so now it,s completely useless to you!
I wish i could die painlessly in my sleep tonight and wake up in heaven!

Granted but now your a Genie trapped inside a bottle



Granted but tomorrow they send you from heaven back to earth to help others (what a crumby job that would be lol)

I wish I was George Bush Jr taking banjo lessons

Granted, but your so bad that you find yourself in a real life version of deliverace bent over a log, with no way to escape!
I wish i had a great looking male genie interested in fullfilling only my wishes without any negative side effects, and he,s belongs to just me forever!

granted but then you full in love with the idea of a pack of never ending "tim tams" (Australian audiences will get that) and the genie leaves

I wish I had the courage to ask a guy out

Granted but in six months you'll be wishing you had the courage to break up with him
I wish I knew what Tim Tams were




swtp your a twisted chick! lol

granted you become one.

I wish for a pizza

Granted, it's a few weeks old... I was going to throw it out, but you can have it

I wish my car would stay clear atleast until I get home after I get it washed.

granted but when it washed its so shinny a car going by swerves and hits it.

(takes bite of pizza "thats good"

I wish I could breath fire (make smores any ware!)

Who me,twisted? Well i gotta let my evil twin out to play sometimes!

Granted,but you have to live in a fire proof cave all alone or you torch your lover and house every time you fall asleep!
I wish my one big wall was a t.v. and i could watch any program i wanted, or anything going on anywhere, and in any house, buisness or government building all over the world without commercials, and no one would ever find out i could do that, and i could do it till i die which would only be when i choose it to be!

granted but you go blind after a few days. I'll let you enjoy it for a while.

I wish i could play guitar.

(I do play)

Your fingers bleed when you play (it happens)

I wish had a canoe with no holes and could not be destroyed.

Granted but the canoe is a toy that cannot float so if you try to ride in it you will surely drown and if you don't wear your floaties then you will be cursed forever and all eternity. What a great wish....

I wish people would stop hurting innocent animals......

granted, instead they eat them.

I wish for automatic firing potato gun!

Granted, but they become available on the black market in Africa and you arrested for possession.

I wish for a nice, large, juicy hamburger with all the trimmings.

Granted, a nice, large, juicy hamburger with all the trimmings just popped up somewhere in the galaxy....... good luck finding it.
I wish my computer was unbreakable, uncrashable and immune to all viruses.

Granted, but you live alone, in a hut in the middle of the rainforest, with no internet. (your computer is immune to all viruses, but are you?) *shazzaaam!*


I wish I had a cockroach infestation.

Granted, you have to eat them.

I wish here never made his wish!

Granted, but somehow it backfires (lol sorry, I don't really understand your wish)

I wish all UM members were hobbits

granted by scorpian gets attacked and killed by golem

I wish I had an IQ of 375

Granted, but your head can't contain all this intelligence, so it explodes.

I wish I had a smoothie

Granted but it gets stuck in your throat.

I wish I had some hair dye

Granted, but you it goes wrong, turns your hair flourescent orange and it falls out the next day.

I wish i was dead.

Granted, but you discover your eternal afterlife is spent with all those you hate, bore you, tell the lamest jokes, and all your ex,s who enjoy nagging you all the time at the same time!
I wish i could controle time, and all that happens in the universe and on earth forever!

Granted but your messing on Gods turf so some angels kill you in a drive-bye shooting!
I wish I could make my own submarine and look for giant squid!

Granted you find one, and it eats you.

I wish I knew the the ultimate TOE theory (theory of everything, TOE) that was correct.

Granted, but you become a mute

I wish I had a coffee right now to keep me awake

(writes down the theory and sends copies)

Granted, its poisoned, you die.

I wish my dogs could live forever.

Granted but they become bald and embaressed

I wish I could work somewhere else

Granted, but you get fired after 5 seconds of being hired.

I wish that everyone who made a wish got all their wishes granted and did not die......yet.

Granted, you work in a mill getting 5 $ an hour going def doing back braking labor.

I wish for some rattle snake bacon (better than it sounds)

Granted but its half eaten and dropped on the floor

I wish my computer had more memory

(takes bite)

Granted but all the memory chips brake and you loose all your data.

I wish for a good original move from Hollywood.

Granted but its based on all the personal facts of your life

I wish my mum would chuck my uncle out

(buys ticket)

Granted, she throws him out the window ware he gets hit by a car.

I wish for the transporter form star trek

granted but when you use it you don't have any one to "beam" you back

I wish they had a Halloween type holiday where you would go door to door
and people had to hand out beer and it was called "MacDDT's Eve"

Granted, but it,s the non alcaholic kind making it pointless!
I wish when we ran out of something , it would replace it,s self for free so i would never have to go shopping again!

granted but that applies to your monthly bills too, so if you pay January's phone bill another January phone bill takes it's place (lol sucker)
I wish I had four arms

Granted, but now you have to live out your life in a cage as a curiousity, with tourists taking pictures of you and never any privacy!
I wish i owned an island paradise, that i never had to pay taxes on, and only who and what i agree to would be on or around that island!

Granted but the islands only eight feet wide
I wish I could climb Mt Everest

Granted, but once at the top, you can,t come back down!
I wish i could breath under water!