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Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums > Other > General Off-Topic Discussion > Jokes & Humour
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Pandora2173
QUOTE (BiffSplitkins @ Jan 29 2008, 12:33 PM) *
Granted - but your red bull that drank too much Red Bull is running around like crazy in there just like he was in a china shop.

I wish it was 4:30 so I can leave work and go home grin2.gif


Aww, Biff got skipped!

Granted, it's 4:30 but that means it's 10 past 4:20 and you got left outta the circle by me and Crtbud!

(EDITED to say, I somehow forgot to put a wish on this one, hmmmm. I'll just repeat the wish of being Key West.)
The_Scorpion
QUOTE (Pandora2173 @ Jan 29 2008, 06:40 PM) *
I'll just repeat the wish of being Key West.)


Okay..... I grant your wish; you are now Key West. huh.gif
tongue.gif

I wish I was Manhattan.
BiffSplitkins
QUOTE (Pandora2173 @ Jan 29 2008, 12:40 PM) *
Aww, Biff got skipped!

Granted, it's 4:30 but that means it's 10 past 4:20 and you got left outta the circle by me and Crtbud!

(EDITED to say, I somehow forgot to put a wish on this one, hmmmm. I'll just repeat the wish of being Key West.)




Granted - You're in Key West - but that serial killer from the other post is following you devil.gif



Edit for scorpion so there's no skipping -
Okay..... I grant your wish; you are now Key West.


I wish I was Manhattan.
Granted you're in Manhattan but Cloverfield is REAL!!!!!

I wish I was having fun today.
The_Scorpion
QUOTE (BiffSplitkins @ Jan 29 2008, 07:01 PM) *
Granted - You're in Key West - but that serial killer from the other post is following you devil.gif



Edit for scorpion so there's no skipping -
Okay..... I grant your wish; you are now Key West.


I wish I was Manhattan.
Granted you're in Manhattan but Cloverfield is REAL!!!!!

I wish I was having fun today.


I didn't wish to be IN Manhattan, I wanted to BE Manhattan tongue.gif
Your wish is granted, you have fun today, but every other day will be hell.
I wish my garbage bin would empty itself just by clicking on it, just like the computer bins do.
dest_titor1
QUOTE (The_Scorpion @ Jan 29 2008, 06:06 PM) *
I didn't wish to be IN Manhattan, I wanted to BE Manhattan tongue.gif
Your wish is granted, you have fun today, but every other day will be hell.
I wish my garbage bin would empty itself just by clicking on it, just like the computer bins do.


Granted but it explodes

I wish for a puddle jumper from Stargate Atlantis (the one with the hyper drive)
ravergirl
QUOTE (dest_titor1 @ Jan 29 2008, 10:55 PM) *
Granted but it explodes

I wish for a puddle jumper from Stargate Atlantis (the one with the hyper drive)

granted but there is a drought.

I wish to be in a better mood today and to quit having this cloud over me.
dest_titor1
QUOTE (ravergirl @ Jan 29 2008, 11:00 PM) *
granted but there is a drought.

I wish to be in a better mood today and to quit having this cloud over me.


Granted, the cloud rains itself out and some one inject you with drugs, con grat you are now a junky!

I wish for a copy of the book fahrenheit 451
ravergirl
QUOTE (dest_titor1 @ Jan 29 2008, 11:03 PM) *
Granted, the cloud rains itself out and some one inject you with drugs, con grat you are now a junky!

I wish for a copy of the book fahrenheit 451

granted but the book cover also is 451 degrees

i wish i had a burrito
Affliction
Granted, but the filling is glass.

I wish for a new guitar.
MUM24/7
QUOTE (Affliction @ Jan 30 2008, 12:43 PM) *
Granted, but the filling is glass.

I wish for a new guitar.


Granted but you have to play only Barry Manilow songs......

I wish I had 24 hours to myself.......
dest_titor1
QUOTE (MUM24/7 @ Jan 30 2008, 02:05 AM) *
Granted but you have to play only Barry Manilow songs......

I wish I had 24 hours to myself.......


Granted, but you go insane, brake you leg, get a gash on your arm and leg and head, by the time is u, you bleed to death.

I wish I had perfect control over my mind.
MUM24/7
QUOTE (dest_titor1 @ Jan 30 2008, 01:10 PM) *
Granted, but you go insane, brake you leg, get a gash on your arm and leg and head, by the time is u, you bleed to death.

I wish I had perfect control over my mind.


Granted but then you'd realise you were insane and commit yourself to a psych ward....... tongue.gif

I wish I had Gisele's body measurements...... wub.gif
Pandora2173
QUOTE (MUM24/7 @ Jan 30 2008, 12:28 AM) *
Granted but then you'd realise you were insane and commit yourself to a psych ward....... tongue.gif

I wish I had Gisele's body measurements...... wub.gif


Granted! But, you have Rosanne Barr's face. I wish I were home all ready.
Bear's Quest
QUOTE (MUM24/7 @ Jan 30 2008, 05:28 AM) *
Granted but then you'd realise you were insane and commit yourself to a psych ward....... tongue.gif

I wish I had Gisele's body measurements...... wub.gif


Granted but you must throw up twice a day and avoid fast foods and sweets.

I wish to fly like a bird.

D'oh pandora beat me to it

Granted! But, you have Rosanne Barr's face. I wish I were home all ready.

Granted but your home was demolished by a construction company who got the wrong address.

I wish I could fly
Pandora2173
QUOTE (Bear's Quest @ Jan 30 2008, 11:25 AM) *
Granted but you must throw up twice a day and avoid fast foods and sweets.

I wish to fly like a bird.

D'oh pandora beat me to it

Granted! But, you have Rosanne Barr's face. I wish I were home all ready.

Granted but your home was demolished by a construction company who got the wrong address.

I wish I could fly


Granted! But, it's really just a drug induced hallucination and that ledge you're on is very high up......

I wish I were travelling the world.
crtbud
QUOTE
Granted! But, it's really just a drug induced hallucination and that ledge you're on is very high up......

I wish I were travelling the world.


Granted.... your first stop? The Middle East thumbsup.gif

Kevlar not included.

I wish the weather was tame.
Star_girl
Granted on Earth the weather is lovely! but you unfortunately find yourself on Venus...

I wish I owned a mansion
Bear's Quest
QUOTE (Star_girl @ Jan 31 2008, 05:26 AM) *
Granted on Earth the weather is lovely! but you unfortunately find yourself on Venus...

I wish I owned a mansion


Granted but its infested with rats with the plague.

I wish to be famous football player.
She-ra
QUOTE (Bear's Quest @ Jan 31 2008, 10:58 AM) *
Granted but its infested with rats with the plague.

I wish to be famous football player.


Wish granted but you played in 1950 and no one remembers you original.gif

I wish my head would stop spinning!
BiffSplitkins
QUOTE (She-ra @ Jan 31 2008, 12:34 PM) *
Wish granted but you played in 1950 and no one remembers you original.gif

I wish my head would stop spinning!


Granted - your head stops spinning but your body doesn't and you twist your head right off your body.

I wish I just didn't eat so much for lunch - Burrrrp!
~ MacDDT ~
QUOTE (She-ra @ Jan 31 2008, 12:34 PM) *
Wish granted but you played in 1950 and no one remembers you original.gif

I wish my head would stop spinning!

Granted but now you have to help clean up your green vomit off the exorcist!
QUOTE (BiffSplitkins @ Jan 31 2008, 12:41 PM) *
Granted - your head stops spinning but your body doesn't and you twist your head right off your body.

I wish I just didn't eat so much for lunch - Burrrrp!

Granted but now your tape worms are furious with you
I wish it was summer and I was at the beach


* It's ok She-ra ...I think I have it sorted out lol rofl.gif
She-ra
Granted but you are in CHILI and there's a massive hurricane headed your way!

I wish my tummy would settle down.


*hey- we got messed up. whatever original.gif
The_Scorpion
QUOTE (She-ra @ Jan 31 2008, 06:46 PM) *
Granted but you are in CHILI and there's a massive hurricane headed your way!

I wish my tummy would settle down.


Granted, but if you EVER eat chocolate again, your tummy will instantly explode.
I wish there was a Starbucks in my neighbourhood.
swtp
QUOTE (The_Scorpion @ Jan 31 2008, 10:44 AM) *
Granted, but if you EVER eat chocolate again, your tummy will instantly explode.
I wish there was a Starbucks in my neighbourhood.

Granted, but now you,ll be awake and twitching for months on end, and they will lock you up in an institution!
I wish wouldn,t go shopping and then discover when i get home, i,ve bought everything but the one thing i really went shopping for!
The_Scorpion
QUOTE (swtp @ Jan 31 2008, 07:51 PM) *
Granted, but now you,ll be awake and twitching for months on end, and they will lock you up in an institution!
I wish wouldn,t go shopping and then discover when i get home, i,ve bought everything but the one thing i really went shopping for!


Granted, but now you come home, only to discover that you haven't bought anything at all.
I wish I was green.
crtbud
Granted, your skin is vomit-green and constantly slimey... atleast you'll save on vasoline mellow.gif

I wish I had a tree house bungalo where all the monkeys go to toke.
swtp
QUOTE (crtbud @ Jan 31 2008, 01:36 PM) *
Granted, your skin is vomit-green and constantly slimey... atleast you'll save on vasoline mellow.gif

I wish I had a tree house bungalo where all the monkeys go to toke.

laugh.gif Granted, but then i move into the tree house and bogart the bud!
I wish i had some chocolate munchies for after i spent some time in that tree house! yes.gif
dest_titor1
QUOTE (swtp @ Jan 31 2008, 11:38 PM) *
laugh.gif Granted, but then i move into the tree house and bogart the bud!
I wish i had some chocolate munchies for after i spent some time in that tree house! yes.gif

Granted, you get sick and throw it all up, then a monkey throws his poop at you.
I wish a stargate tongue.gif
Star_girl
Granted but it is at the bottom of the ocean...

I wish I was smarter!
~ MacDDT ~
QUOTE (Star_girl @ Feb 1 2008, 12:29 AM) *
Granted but it is at the bottom of the ocean...

I wish I was smarter!

Granted but then you will have to go back and edit all of your posts tongue.gif (Just Kidding)
I wish I could eat a peanut butter and sardine sandwich without puking
Poke-Fan of Ash
(Hey there! I'm new. Coming from Zoo Tycoon Volcano.)
That wish is yours but the catch is that you can't eat anything else anymore! thumbsup.gif
I wish there was a category on welcoming new members like me.
The_Scorpion
QUOTE (Poke-Fan of Ash @ Feb 1 2008, 12:24 PM) *
(Hey there! I'm new. Coming from Zoo Tycoon Volcano.)
That wish is yours but the catch is that you can't eat anything else anymore! thumbsup.gif
I wish there was a category on welcoming new members like me.


Welcome to the forum!
Granted, here is the community board to welcome new members , but now you are banned from the forum so you can't post there anymore tongue.gif
I wish I had a comfy soft bed the size of a livingroom, with big comfy blankets and pillows.
Poke-Fan of Ash
You get it. However, you find out there's LOTSA SNAKES!!!!!!!!
I wish for my boyfriend to kiss me and give me hugs without cruel intentions.
Pandora2173
QUOTE (Poke-Fan of Ash @ Feb 1 2008, 07:13 AM) *
You get it. However, you find out there's LOTSA SNAKES!!!!!!!!
I wish for my boyfriend to kiss me and give me hugs without cruel intentions.


Granted! But your boyfriend has a scorching case of ebola. I wish I were a cat.
BiffSplitkins
QUOTE (Pandora2173 @ Feb 1 2008, 01:06 PM) *
Granted! But your boyfriend has a scorching case of ebola. I wish I were a cat.

Granted - but you are about to be eaten alive by this dog.

linked-image

I wish my office wasn't so friggin' cold today sad.gif
dest_titor1
QUOTE (BiffSplitkins @ Feb 1 2008, 06:13 PM) *
Granted - but you are about to be eaten alive by this dog.

linked-image

I wish my office wasn't so friggin' cold today sad.gif


Granted instead its full of lava


I wish school was over
Pandora2173
QUOTE (dest_titor1 @ Feb 1 2008, 01:27 PM) *
Granted instead its full of lava


I wish school was over


Granted! But, it's only over because terrorists have shut it down and shipped everyone inside to work camps. I wish I were on a sunny beach somewhere.
crtbud
Granted, you're accompanied by a bunch of fat, sweaty men.... did I mention it's a nude beach?


I wish it would either rain, hail, or snow.... not ALL three!
dest_titor1
QUOTE (crtbud @ Feb 1 2008, 09:04 PM) *
Granted, you're accompanied by a bunch of fat, sweaty men.... did I mention it's a nude beach?


I wish it would either rain, hail, or snow.... not ALL three!


Granted, the snow is on fire.

I wish for power like in the movie "Jumper" (the ability to teleport myself any ware)
crtbud
Granted, but your aim sucks and you end up in outer space on your first try, freezing instantly.

I wish George W. was impeached and charged with war crimes.
Pandora2173
QUOTE (crtbud @ Feb 1 2008, 04:31 PM) *
Granted, but your aim sucks and you end up in outer space on your first try, freezing instantly.

I wish George W. was impeached and charged with war crimes.


Granted, but now he's the host of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" laugh.gif I wish I had endless money to travel the world.
dest_titor1
QUOTE (Pandora2173 @ Feb 2 2008, 12:40 AM) *
Granted, but now he's the host of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" laugh.gif I wish I had endless money to travel the world.


Granted, on your first trip you are charged with crimes you did not do.

I wish for million dollars in pennies
swtp
QUOTE (dest_titor1 @ Feb 1 2008, 05:48 PM) *
Granted, on your first trip you are charged with crimes you did not do.

I wish for million dollars in pennies

blink.gif Ok granted, but you have take them with you wherever you go and your not allowed to spend them!
I wish i had better eye sight so it wouldn,t matter that i can never find where i put my stupid glasses!
dest_titor1
QUOTE (swtp @ Feb 2 2008, 03:45 AM) *
blink.gif Ok granted, but you have take them with you wherever you go and your not allowed to spend them!
I wish i had better eye sight so it wouldn,t matter that i can never find where i put my stupid glasses!


(Stands in front of a wishing well with the pennies "I got a few hours")

Granted, Its so great the faintest bit of light blinds you.

(Im going to be nice) I wish you had a pair of sunglasses!
swtp
QUOTE (dest_titor1 @ Feb 1 2008, 07:35 PM) *
(Stands in front of a wishing well with the pennies "I got a few hours")

Granted, Its so great the faintest bit of light blinds you.

(Im going to be nice) I wish you had a pair of sunglasses!

Aww, Thanks and greatfully granted, because i,m already so dang light shy that even at night i hate useing anything but candles! ( Instant migrain)
(I,ll be nice too!) I wish that all your good wishes come true!
Pandora2173
QUOTE (swtp @ Feb 1 2008, 11:14 PM) *
Aww, Thanks and greatfully granted, because i,m already so dang light shy that even at night i hate useing anything but candles! ( Instant migrain)
(I,ll be nice too!) I wish that all your good wishes come true!


Granted, but you're now stuck in the Dudley Moore version of Bedazzled. You should probably start practicing blowing your raspberries. wink2.gif

I wish I could find the man of my dreams.

Sporkling
Granted, but you wake up soon after.
I wish I can sleep
Pandora2173
QUOTE (Electrokinesis is me @ Feb 2 2008, 11:07 AM) *
Granted, but you wake up soon after.
I wish I can sleep


Granted, but it's only because you ate some bad blowfish at your favorite sushi bar and are in so deep, they think you're dead. Here comes the gurney for your autopsy now.....

I wish I hadn't sat on this site so long that I'm now running behind and my friend will be here any minute!!
Sporkling
I wish I hadn't sat on this site so long that I'm now running behind and my friend will be here any minute!!

granted. You forgot the password.

I wish I had more posts.
The_Scorpion
QUOTE (Electrokinesis is me @ Feb 2 2008, 05:13 PM) *
I wish I hadn't sat on this site so long that I'm now running behind and my friend will be here any minute!!

granted. You forgot the password.

I wish I had more posts.


Granted, but you are banned for spamming.
I wish I had a beer.
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