Granted but you are only productive when wearing a grass hawaiian skirt.

I wish I had the knowledge I have now when I was 16 years old.

granted,but you dont have the will power to make the right choices.


i wish i could give the world a coke

Granted but all the cans were empty.


I wish my family lived closer.

Granted... but they live closer to the Moon...

I wish I didn't have to go out today and could stay home all day playing on the internet.

granted but you have no electricity to run the computer .

I wish soemone would do my gift shopping for me

Granted but you know that means your granny will be unwrapping a massive dildo on Christmas morning!!!!




I wish I could spend Christmas with a person.

Granted, but it's just your reflection in a mirror

I wish I had a duck

Granted but it will be SS's Granny and the massive dildo.

I wish I had a new car.

granted but its the most annoying person known to man

i wish i would have made the dildo joke first..

Granted but your typos would have made it indecipherable LOL

I wish i was a bloke then i could call this little cold i have man flu and justify staying in bed .

Granted, but that man flu you have is actually herpes

I wish I had a swimming pool

Granted but that water your in is urine

I wish i could swim

Granted, but your half woman/ half fish.


I wish I could travel back through time.

granted,but you get jock itch and cant stop scratching long enough to enjoy it...

i wish my dog could talk

Granted but the neanderthals find you too Thick so send you back

I Wish i could predict the future

Granted, but you can only see 2 seconds ahead and by the time you walk in front of that tractor it's too late

I wish I could go into outer space

granted but you will go without a spaceship

i wish i had alifetime supply of dairy milk

Granted but it is a piece that is only 2 square inches in size!!!!!!!!!!! (aka you have about 5 mins left).



I wish I had a massive c*ck.

Wish I had a new car.

Granted but gas prices are up $10.73 .. I wish i haddn't F*CKD up my semester.

granted but you are a blue whale

i wish i could live until the end of time

Granted but it's a different type of coke & you are now serving 25 to life.

I wish for complete and utter happiness.

lmao very nice.

Granted but you only passed because you had to stay back with your Professor for some *extra work*. Plus he looked like the Pope and I know how you love him!!

I wish I was 6ft tall

granted but the rest of the world is completely miserable

I wish i wasn't bald

Granted but you're also 97.5 lbs over weight w/ a cockeye. Good luck

I wish for a poppy bagel with cream cheese right now [;

I'll take it! lol

GRANTED! but you're a ginger kid.

if you're not familiar .. please refer to the following video: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=I7p8kPPFhoQ

.. unless you are one already .. if so .. i'm kidding [;

Granted, but the cheese comes with a questionable use-by date and a side of green fuzz

I wish I could find that damn missing song on my computer

Granted but it is mouldy

I wish I had all my tarantulas back

Granted but they are now aggressive.

I wish I own a Mansion.

Granted, but it is haunted by aggresive Poltergeists and demons.

I wish I had a unlimited supply of chocolate icecream

granted but you are allergic to chocolate ice cream.

i wish i could read aramaic

Granted but now you cant read and understand any other langauge.


I wish you would all bow before my awesome might.

granted but would be 1000 years in the futures

I wish I have the power to stop time.

granted but only if you take the batteries from a watch.

i wish i could understand animals.

Granted but you must work in an abattoir.

I wish I had wings and could fly.

Granted, but you are a gnat.

I wish Christmas was over.

granted but everyday is now easter.
I wish my mother/boss would shut up.

Granted, but now everyone else in your life is speaking louder and louder.

I wish for a new dishwasher.

Granted, but it doesn't work.

I wish for snow.

Granted, but there is 8 ft of it and your house has no food.

I wish this paper would write itself.

Granted, and it looks something like this....

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY.




I wish I had some presents under my tree.

Granted, but none of them are for you.
I wish for a new car.

granted but it is a toy car.

I wish i could win the lottery.

Granted, but on your way to collect the winnings you get hit by a greyhound bus.

I wish I could fly.

granted but you are a mosquito.

i wish greyhound buses were made of jelly.

Granted, but they started making them like that after you got hit and killed.

I wish the snow would go away.

Granted, but now it's raining mud.

I wish I could make an uncorruptable wish.

Granted, but it's replaced with a swarm of locusts.


I wish for a non-moldy or bug infested breakfast feast!

Granted, but it's no fun to read.

I wish this Audi dealership treated me like there WERE other places I could take my business to.

Granted, but a sly pigeon came through your window and pooped on it

I wish I could instinctively decipher truth from lies.