He He He I am already scolded for spamming.

Granted but your beer is actually chinese tea
I wish I am a good boy

Granted, you are then mugged and killed because he knew you would tell.

I wish for schroders cat, before the box experiment that would and would not kill it.

Granted, but then Schrodinger puts both of you in the box.
I wish I had that big ball from "Raiders of the lost ark"

Granted it crushes you.

I wish I was not sick.

Granted, but now that you're all healthy and ready to go your friend needs you to help him move. I wish I could lose 20 pounds over night.

Granted, each night you will lose 20 lbs ENJOY

I wish I could gain 20 lbs of muscle over night

Yes but you ate 20lbs of muscle and you're now a cannibal.

I wish to have money in my pocket right now.

Granted!! Reach deep into your pocket, Bear's Quest. Feel that?? Congratulations, you have a shiney new nickel that's just itching to be spent!!

I wish coffee tasted good without all the sugar.

Granted, but all the coffee beans in the world go extinct.

I wish a ray gun

Granted, but your genie thought you said Reagan and now you have a really stinky corpse to deal with. I wish summer would arrive sooner.

Granted, but it's a very cold summer.

I wish I wasn't hung over so I could stop puking.

granted, you then go outside ware you are mugged and killed

I wish I could speak Italian.

Granted but then no one will talk to you cause all your teeth fall out and your gum holes ooze a foul odor similar to a rotting corpse.

I wish to feel euphoria

Granted but the euphoria is caused by snake venom...
I wish I had a piece of pizza...

Granted, but it's been in your fridge for over two months, enjoy! I wish I was 6" inches taller.

Granted, but it,s only the crust!
I wish I hadnt run out of coffee yesterday, waking up without it just isn,t right somehow!

Granted but its decaf!

I wish for some ice cream...

Granted but it's all melted and the ants are having a field day in it.

I wish I had the power of flight.

Granted. But you fly right straight into a jet turbine *ouch!*

I wish I could fall asleep...

Sorry I skipped you Pandora! I'll corrupt 2 of em... You are now 6 inches taller, but are also 6 inches wider



Granted but it is a coma and your a vegetable now...

I wish I was in Mexico...

Granted, but you get eaten by a Chupacabra.

I wish I lived in England.

Granted, but you get mugged and stabbed in the streets of London.


I wish to find a nug at the foot of my bed when I get home.

Granted, but when you try to pick it up, a dog jumps out of your bed (care to explain why there's a dog under you covers?) and eats it. Now you have to watch him space out.
I wish I had my own movie theatre (with popcorn machine of course)

Granted, but it explodes in a big buttery corn mess!

I wish for a space shuttle. (nice lawn ornament)

Granted, a space shuttle returning from orbit finds that they miscalculated horribly and crash lands into your front lawn (and house)


I wish for the dog that ate my nug to choke on it.

Cranted but you have to eat it with slobber, phlegm, bile and all... Hmm reminds me...



I wish I had some salsa...

Granted, but the special ingredient, compliments of your generous chef, is a little bit of that dog plegm. Bon apetit!

I wish the roads weren't covered with a sheet of ice right now...... i need to get home

Granted, but your car blows up...

I wish i had a pony...lol

Granted, it ground up in tacos, enjoy!
I wish for a cessna airplane ready to fly with my in the pilots seat.

Granted, but just as you take of, the apocalypse starts. The whole world explodes and now you have nowhere to land, ever!
I wish I was a carrot.

O.K. you're a carrot. 'Carrot Top' -the comedian!

I wish to have X-ray vision.

Granted: However you are EXTREMELY near sighted which requres you to get within 2 inches of your subject to view - only to find out that all clothing is now made of lead and you get slapped upside the head everytime.

I wish I win the MegaMillions Jackpot this week.

You win!! but its all Monopoly money!

or

You win!! but you die of a heart attack!

I wish to run like 'The Flash'

Granted but you run into a wall at 200 mph and are now a parpelegic with no use of your legs....
*Eats dest titor's pony taco*
I wish i had some...Cotton Candy...

Granted, you have some cotton candy......... growing out of your head, like a rainbow colored afro.
I wish there was a new ice age, making polar bears the new dominant form of life on this planet.

Granted... but they are not the fierce wild bears you see on the Discovery Channel... they are meek and timid like the Coca-Cola Polar bears - they like to run, frollic and play with the funny little penguins.

I wish I had some tater tots

Granted, but not the edible ones...
I wish I had 1000000000 dollars in gold buillon

Granted, but out of misguided judgement you sent it in one of those "virtually indestructable true tech mailers" to be redeemed for "cash fast!" You receive a check in the mail a few days later for $387.52.

I wish for a pair of adult one piece pajamas complete with footies and a hatch in the back

Granted, but it gets glued to your skin from goofed up dye...

I wish I won publishers clearing house...

Congratulations! Sadly you died before you could be informed so you have no clue.

I wish I had a monkey that dances for money.

Granted, it goes crazy and dances on poles

I wish I had one of the Charlie`s pony tacos

Granted, but Charlie included some of his 'special sauce' in yours

I wish my monkey wasn't such a little sl**.

Granted hes a big one.

I wish I did not have this limp

Granted, you're missing a leg so you wheel around everywhere.

I wish it was 7 so I can leave work.

Granted, it is 7 in the morning, you have to go home and get ready for work.

I WISH FOR A NEW TV!

Granted, but it happens to be hot and the police are a knockin...

I wish my girlfriend decides to have a threesome with her hott bestfriend and i

Granted, but you parallelized from the waist down! And they run off together! [ Hi Ross ]

I wish the first book I write becomes a best seller.

Granted, but only after your bestfriend has stolen and published it.


I wish the moon was made of cheese.

Granted, the sun, melts it, it flies out of orbit, our orbit destabilizes and Earth becomes uninhabitable, we all, die, and because ytou wanted some cheese!

I wish I owned all the land in the solar system, so NASA has to pay me for the land to probe.

Granted, the sun explodes!

I wish for hot air balloon.