Granted, but now your face is stuck that way and everyone thinks you're crazy.

I wish they'd stop making me change shifts.

granted your fired

I wish i had some candy


an rc bug,right?
I had to google it,so it's sad if i'm wrong.

edited for spelling

(an ornathopter is a flying machine that flaps its wings)

Granted, but it has razor blades in it

I wish for a foot tall pet mammoth pet! (gets no taller than 1 foot)

Granted, but he doesn't like you, so he calls his big full sized mammoth brother to trample you to death.
I wish I could grow or shrink to any size I choose, at any time I choose.

Granted, while you shrink to sneek out of work, a bird flys by and snatches you up, and eats you!

In wish for a trained hunting flacon as a pet.

Granted - however he has a bad wing and only flies in circles.

I wish I had the ability to morph into animals

Granted, you are seen as deer, killed, and eaten by a hunter.

(pets falcon, "let go to the vet")

I wish for a brick of cheese.

For the love of god...please...let that be the case! SEND ME THE $@#* HOME! LOL



Granted, but some dumb ass wine connoisseur thought the cheese was supposed to age with the wine, and it's 100 years old. Hey, at least you get 100 year old wine to go with your dysentery

I wish I knew kung fu (Watching kung fu movies *shrug*)

Granted, you go on TV and you are killed by the ask a ninja ninja!

(The older cheese is the better it is)

I could meet the numa numa guy, and do a numa numa 3 along side him!

Granted, but he ends up having a heart attack related to some really old and moldy cheese...right in the middle of the video. The cops blame you.

I wish I wasn't watching such a gay ass action movie right now...

Granted, your watching just a plane old gay movie!

I wish I could meet Jeff Dunham.

Granted but he got asasainted 2 seconds before you could meet him

I wish that I was an expert horseback rider.

Granted, but none of you have a horse.

I wish i had a gaming computer

Granted, but, seeing as you're so charitable, you give it to me before you even use it!

I wish everyone of my teachers talked like a sports announcer =D

Granted, but, they only did it behind your back.

I wish that my Rubes calender wasn't so frickin gay

Granted, now you are.

I wish my car was fixed.

Granted but they fixed the wrong thing

I wish i had a can of pepsi

GRANTED: but it was a coke in a bottle

I wish i had superhuman powers..

Granted, you now have big insect antenae protruding from your forehead. It's not incredibly attractive, but hey, you can feel things with superhuman sensitivity!

I wish there was a bank error in my favor of $500! (inspired by monopoly)

Granted: But it was for Mexican Pesos which is only $5.00 bucks..

I wish i did not have to work ever again..

Granted, you're left paralyzed from the neck down after a tragic auto accident and don't have much of a choice about going back to work.

I wish weed was legalized.

granted but the government taxes it so much no one u know can afford it anymore.

i wish someone would pay my rent

Granted but your house burned down

I wish i had a Brand new barn 200 yards X 400 yards

Granted, but it collapses while you're inside because the contractor failed to put support beams in the middle.

I wish I had the power to turn any liquid into beer at my discretion.

graned butthe only liquid available is pee.
I wish i had a friend

granted but its cheap pabst beer

I wish I didn't have a headache

Granted - You do but it's dead Hellen Keller.




Granted - Headache gone but it took all your fishing knowledge away when the pain left.

I wish my day was less stressful today.

Granted, but it's me.


Granted, you have a toothache that ends up requiring a root canal.


Granted, but the rest of the week will be hell. Enjoy your relaxing evening


I wish I had a clone that worked to earn my money.

Granted but the clone gets fired

I wish that school was out

i wish aliens would stop abducting people and hurting them torturing their minds
i wish bad cops and bad child safety workers would stop abusing kids and families i wish them the most out of all the wishes wish them ill

Granted, instead, they abuse other adults.
I wish for 20 carbon composite arrows.

Granted - but they are all given to you by being shot into your groin area.

I wish this thread didn't get so messed up over the last 3-4 posts. (I never got my previous wish granted )

granted but as soon as we unraveled it we heard this ticking so we put it back.

I wish there was a rainbow

Granted - there was a rainbow, but it was a long time ago before you were born

I wish I had an army of robotic Helen Kellers

Granted, but they go berserk and beat you to death with their brail textbooks.


I wish I had a plate of french toast cooked to perfection with delicious strawberries and blue berries on the side, all covered in Aunt Gemima's Maple syrup sitting right infront of me for me and me only to eat.

Granted - but your lips are sewn shut with razor wire

I wish was a big giant cyclops on an island full of stupid villagers to terrorize.

Granted - but you're on Gilligans Island and MaryAnne gets you so wasted on Cannibus that you can't remember how to terrorize.

I wish it would stop SNOWING!!!

Granted, but curiosity drives you to eat a few villagers who turn out to be high in cholesterol. You develop a blood clot after a short period of time and die from a painful, agonizing heart attack.

OOPS

Granted, the snow falling is replaced with hail the size of baseballs.



I wish for a genie who will grant me uncorruptable wishes.

Granted but he's on strike

I wish that my older brother would quit whining about everything under the moon and sun

Granted, but now he whines about everything under Uranus.

I wish I had a Shamrock Shake right now.

granted but it has nail clippings in it
me wishes i was the master of the universe muhaha muhahah

sorry double post

Granted, but the Leprecon is squeezing it out himself, it will be a few minutes, he needs his privacy.

I wish it was Friday.

Granted, but you are overthrown by the intergalactic counsel and put on trial for the questionable methods employed to obtain your throne.


Granted, but the work week has been flipped and the "weekend" ended yesterday.

I wish it was 65 degrees fahrenheit, sunny, and i didnt have to work for the rest of the day.

granted you die so u wont have to work and it will be very sunny...in hell
i was i had £1000,000000000,0000000000000,000000000000,000000000,000000000,00000000000,00000
000000,00000000000000

Granted - but the pound is worth -5$ so you now owe money
I wish i hadn't eaten that bacon cheeseburger for lunch

Granted, you had £10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 until you were overcome with a very charitable urge. The children in Darfur thank you.


I wish my genie would get back to work.

Granted you ate 2 of them

I wish i didn't have to go anywhere today

Granted, i guess not going anywhere is bad enough..

I wish i had a 7.1 surround sound.

Granted - but all you have to listen to is Celine Dion

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a '64 Impala