Hey,
This happened 6 years ago when i was 15.
On a side note,Pls no comments as "you are EMO!".
Location:Belgium,Liege.
One night,i felt extremely sad.I couldn't describe the sadness really and i didn't know what i was sad about.
I was almost unbearable but i didnt dare talk to my mom about it(single parent btw).
I had school the next day.
For some reason i went into the medicine cabinet and took as many pills as i could untill i was satisfied(???).
My mom has a deppression dissorder so there where allot of anti-deppresants in there.
It was 3 o' clock AM.So i layed down listening to techno till i fell asleep.I only remember my lungs hurting before i went to sleep.
*experience from my point of view*
Everything was black but it was a very soft blackness.
It was like a box opening up.
I could see very little.I was confused as i didnt know who i was,where i was and why.
I was in an endless labyrinth but not the kind in amusement parks or anything.
The walls seemed endless and to this day i couldnt make out what the floors where made out of.
I was just wandering endlessly following voices coming from an unkown source.
The voices became louder.I could here people but the concept of voices seemed baffling to me.
Then a voice said "He is in a Coma and we don't know why".
It was like a giant explosion of emotions and confusion inside of me.
I remembered everything now.I could hear everyone.
I had a deep feeling of guilt and shame.
I woke up fromma flashlight that was shining in my eyes(doctor)
There is an image that stuck to me hard ever since,i am seeing a mettal fence and 2 people were arrying me over it.
*Point of view from my mom*
It was a schoolday so she was supposed to wake me up at 7:30.
But she said to me that that something told her to check on me.
She said i was sweating and i had a 108* fahrenheit fever.
She was on auto-pilot.Like she had no real control.
Paramedics came and told her that i needed to go to a hospital immediatly.
They called in a helicopter.
The helicopter came in a matter of 2 minutes.
They told my mom that she had to drive to the hospital herself (an hour drive) as they needed the full team to work on me.
Once at the hospital.ER told her that i had a high chance of not making it.They said i was in a deep coma and that they didn't know why.
She said that the doctor did something to me(??) and that it had a low chance of working.
I remained in my state for a full fledged week.
And that i just simply woke up when they where checking up on my pupils.
According to the doctor the "thing" he did to me was said to him in a very faint voice he said.Appearantly they said to me that if i came in 5 min. later into the ER i wouldn't of made it...
*After*
I have a very faint memory untill 2 weeks after the coma.
What shocked me is that they thought i had viral encephalitis. but i knew better.I told my mom about that i took those pills and 5 min. afterwards the doctor came in to explain the situation that theyve found anti deppresants.
But she told my family that it was viral encephalitis that caused the coma already and we just werent into telling the whole family what has ACTUALLY happened.
I had to keep it in for 6 whole years.Not telling anyone about the miricale it was that i am still alive!
The image i had was explained only 2 years ago where the paramedics had to cross a fence to get me into the helicopter.
Miricale was:
-Why did mom wake up at 7 AM feeling something was amiss instead of the regular 7:30-8 AM?
If she had woken me up at that time i surely wouldnt be standing here today.
-i made it to the hospital literally in the nick of time!
-That the doctor didn't know what caused the coma but that something in him knew.
-I actualy woke up from the coma,according to readings.
-allot more to list...
I have an immense appreciation torward life after that incident.
I couldnt give a sh*t what spirituality was before the coma but after i felt extremely enlightened.
It made me a better person.
This is bad to say but for me,it was the greatest thing that has happend in my life.
I didnt know why i wanted to commit suicide at that point to this day.Therapy didnt help me.
I just couldnt hold it in me anymore.It still kills me that if i tell another family member about what really had happend that i surely would be judged in a very negative way.It is just the world we live in.And i have that kind of family members excpet for my older brothers.
I used google translator allot for this text.
I am sure that this text is a grammar and spelling nightmare but aslong as u can understand it.
The whole experience is still a mistery to me even now at 21 years old.
Greetz,
Lex
