Why are Xmas trees better than women?

When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesn't look like a cheap hooker.

A Christmas tree will never complain if you compare it to another bush.

A Christmas tree will stay up late, watch a porno with you, and won't say, "Hey, look at the size of that dick ... I didn't know they made 'em that big!"

Christmas trees actually like when you use exotic electrical devices.

A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have a plastic one in the closet.

It always smells fresh as a forest.

A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day or go to a strip club after work.

A Christmas tree doesn't get possessive if you want to let your neighbor use your balls.

You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.

A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.

When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.

A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.

A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.

A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.


Why are Xmas trees better than men?

A Christmas tree is always erect.

Even small ones give satisfaction.

A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.

A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on.

A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.

A Christmas tree has cute balls.

A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.

You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its 'sell by' date.

You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.

That post was quite timely. It got me in the holiday spirit. Time to go do some shopping!

and christmas trees are christmassy

yey

ive started my xmas shopping already!