Why Men Ignore Their Wives

When a man fails to help out around the house, his poor performance might be related to a subconscious tendency to resist doing anything his wife wants, a new study suggests.

Men and women are sure to argue about this one. In fact, the man and woman who led the study disagree on the meaning of the results.

Psychologists have long known about "reactance," the tendency to do the exact opposite of what's requested by a loved one or boss. The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.

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Participants were asked to name a significant person they perceived as controlling their lives, and another who just wanted them to have fun. Then they were asked to discern words from jumbled letters on a computer screen while the names of the people they had mentioned were flashed subliminally. The names were flashed too quickly to be registered consciously. Subjects performed better when exposed to the name of the person who wanted them to have fun than when exposed to the controlling individual's name.

"Our participants were not even aware that they had been exposed to someone else's name, yet that nonconscious exposure was enough to cause them to act in defiance of what their significant other would want them to do," said Gavan Fitzsimons, a professor of marketing and psychology at Duke University.

Further testing found that study participants who were more reactant responded more strongly to the subliminal cues and had a wider performance gap.

"People with a tendency toward reactance may nonconsciously and quite unintentionally act in a counterproductive manner simply because they are trying to resist someone else's encroachment on their freedom," said Tanya Chartrand, also a professor of marketing and psychology at Duke.

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Chartrand's own experiences were the impetus for this study.

"My husband, while very charming in many ways, has an annoying tendency of doing exactly the opposite of what I would like him to do in many situations," Chartrand said.

Oh, her husband? That would be Fitzsimons.

Chartrand said her husband "should now be better equipped to suppress his reactant tendencies." But Fitzsimons said the results "suggest that reactance to significant others is so automatic that I can't possibly be expected to control it if I don't even know it's happening."

The findings related to this marital spat, announced this week, were published online by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

Source

not so complex,ppl said "the best children must be your owns and the sweetest wives definitely be the other's".

Cause they're boring?

Actually it's because they talk alot without really saying much.
j/k

Aww...maybe you guys are with the wrong partners....We woman speak the universal language Sure, you might not be interested in our shopping sprees, although the first question is usually "how much did you spend", or what the girls talked over at lunch, (most likely it was their spouses), but what about us....Men can be pretty boring too...when they talk.....Then we have to listen to a run down on sports, or watch you play video games, and hear about your day at work...That can get blah too after awhile....If I ask my husband to do something for me, he usually does it, and it's not because I'm a nag and it's the same with him...Although helping clean the house, or throw some laundry in the machine is out...But he does take out the garbage....Anyway, my take is that you guys are far from perfect, and so are we, so what's wrong with a little compromising....

HIS & HERS...

quote name='REBEL' date='Jan 28 2008, 01:47 PM' post='2122521']
HIS & HERS...






[/quote]


Where can I buy these....I'll take six, keep losing things, need a few backups....

There's an implicit suggestion here that women are the bossy, pestering ones in the relationship. In many relationships it's the male shooting his mouth off and ordering his family around. The wives ignore their husbands because they're sick of being bossed around but don't want to have a fight about things.

Agree, it's that control ego they have...

Not me Goalie.

I'm a great believer in ''If you truly love someone then set them free''...but she wont leave.

Maybe that's why I'm divorced.

I agree on your quote...I wouldn't want to stop anyone that I loved, no matter how much it hurt, from going on their own...Sometimes a relationship is too comfortable and you don't know what the hell is out there, so you stay...LOL listen to me, I've been there, done that, and I'm still here....

This thread really does nothing to change my mind about staying single.

aww my friend, marriage and relationships aren't for everyone....I sometimes wonder if it's not best to have a great friend (opposite sex) to be there for me without all the commitments....Being single has it's good rewards too.....

It does. It gets lonely sometimes, but I'm not tied down. Isn't that weird? I always hear guys saying stuff like that, but I am more of a commitment phobe than most guys I know.

That was great.

There are great guys and great woman out there! Problem seems to be most of the good ones hook up with the crappy ones! Too bad the great ones all couldn,t find eachother, and the crappy ones then could live in hell with the ones they deserve! Also too many people get hooked up too quick, wait till time has taken the thrill out of all the firsts, and then if you are still best friends go for it! Those are the ones that will work at it, and make it all the way!

My mistake was not living with my ex first. She was from a fairly religious family. So living together before marriage was a big no-no. We had spent the night together alot. But that's alot different than living together.

You see there is a trick to getting men to do want you want ladies. You now how when you say things the first time and they say "What?".
Well whether they know it or not the heard you at least subconsciencely. Do that a few times, but space them far apart. And either later that day or the next day he will get a great idea (the one you kept telling him about) and he will actually do it. Why does this work? Because if the man thinks he came up with the idea there is no reluctence.

I found this out on accident, but it works most of the time.


Example:

7:30 a.m.

Wife- Honey why don't you take out the trash

Husband- What?

Wife- Oh nothing


9:45

Wife- Babe, take out the trash

Husband- Huh?

Wife- Forget it


11:00

Wife- The trash...take it out


Husband- Okay....wait what??


Wife- Nevermind


1:00

Husband- Hey I'll be right back I'm going to take out the trash.

That's so true.

im sorry but would you llike me to take you out with a sniper rifle, after reading that example i dont want to see you suffer any more.

I thought this one was kind of funny. I'm not sure who "fails around the house" more, me or him. We usually work the same hours, and do the same amount of work around the house. It's more of a, "I'll do this if you'll do this" kind of thing. In this day and age I think it's really sad women even have to nag men to do work around the house as long as they're bearing an equal workload outside of the house. Sounds like these men need a Mom instead of a wife.

Perhaps nows a good time to play with reverse psychology and make with the sugartalk?

Some people (both male and female) are simply selfish narcissists who ignore the needs of their partner. With this type of person nothing that their partners do for them or give to them will ever be 'enough'. There's nothing that can cause such people to really care, because they lack the quality of empathy needed for caring. The only solution is such cases is divorce. Bottom line, if someone routinely ignores your needs and feelings...don't marry them!

No, me and Mrs boggle are fine.....I mean yeah she is boring.....but we have an arrangement....She turns a blind eye to my Porning it up on line, and ill tolerate her mind numbingly, simpletonesque gibberish for half hour a day....any more and i throw a mighty wobbler....

we all learn to live with each others frekoid quirks...

OMG Rebel!!!