sorry if this is in the wrong place. didn't know where to post it.

basically, my and my girlfriend were at my mates party about a year and a bit ago, and someone was there whom i didn't know. so i went over to talk to him and from the moment we looked at each other i absolutly hated him. loathed him even. i had absolutly no reason to whatsoever, he'd done nothing to me and he hadn't even spoke to me, i just couldn't stand being around him.
all my mates think he's an alright guy and he comes out with us and stuff but i can't be around him at all. Just being in the same room makes me angry and i just want to get up and kick the sh** out of him, although i don't think i've ever hit anyone in my life.
It's not in my nature to be agressive and was just wondering if anyone else had any experiences like this?

Do you feel intimidated by the guy for some reason?

I've experienced something like this but in reverse. I stand at 6'6" and every now and then I'll run into some idiot who's a lot shorter than me but has something to prove by "calling out the big guy". For the most part I ignore them, but the point is, I didn't do anything to provoke their foolish behavior.

BTW, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that's what is happening with you. I just wonder if there's something about the guy that troubles you for some reason.

EDIT for typos

Hate at first site. Has happened to me a few times. Completely normal.

I agree

Just curious, but how can you actually hate someone you don't know?

I find this fascinating, because I have never experienced anything like this before. I didn't know it was a common thing.

youre skin crawls and the urge to kill [if necessary] is completly zoned on them.

ive had this happen its something about body language. the guy i hated had no personal boundaries. where as my "heavy armor" rattled as though craving a scrap.

ive been bullied/annoyed into bloodlust [come close enough please] but never has it manifested as strongly or quikly. i forgot everything going on until he left my presence.

and as a side note im quite kind and gentle. when i get bloodhungry [quite rare] its the absolute end of patience and control.

This has happened to me once or twice, but i usually see a reason to hate them ie. theyre bullying, or a r**arted gangbanger and i really cant stand these things



Same way i am, if i get off, you better hope like hell i like you!

Perhaps it was someone you knew in your past life.

thats happened to me quite a few times

I had the same thing happen to me, and I just thought I was being an ass. I saw this kid walking down the hall one day, and I just had the almost uncontrollable urge to beat the hell out of him. I don't know him, I've never talked to him, but I just can't stand him. I told my friends this, and they said they've all experienced the same thing. I'm glad to know we're not just pricks.

How can you love someone you don't know? Some people believe in love at first site, why not hate at first site? It's probably their mannerisms, the way they carry themselves, perhaps even a certain smell. Who knows?

From what I can tell, people often dislike or feel in competition with others who remind them of themselves. Just something to think about.

Eh, subconcious works in strange ways. Sometimes you'll just feel like lashing out without knowing why. Like you'd be calmly eating your food and all of a sudden your angry and just want to throw your plate at the wall and storm off for no apparant reason. Sometimes there's just "something" about someone that you can't quite pick out thats a form of mental channeling to get rid of some hatred and frustration you have stored away. You don't know why it just happens.

I've come VERY close to just punching a random kid in the hall..

I didn't know him, he was just walking with his group of friends past us, no body was being loud, and everyone knew each other atleast a bit. We stop near the door to let him threw, and I'm going through the door and for some reason I turned aroudn and just took a shot at the back of the kids head (had to punch UP since he's a bit taller, heh) but my friend pushed me to the side and I hit the door, the guy looked back gave me a weird look and kept on walking...

I have no idea why or how it happened, hes a cool guy, never did anything to me, and usually I'm pretty calm.

I just noticed something, most of the people that posted in this are usually calm and under control. Well, everyone is going to get angry at one point or another, and you guys I'm assuming are good at keeping under control.. Well sometimes a person just needs to cut rank (get angry, might be an aussie term I'm not sure.) If you don't your subconcious will eventually find other ways to channel out your anger. This is a lesson, don't pick on the quiet kid in school who never gets angry, because if you do he might rock up with a shotgun one day and say "hi" back.

(Bottled up anger = cracking of bottle = exploding of bottle.. Lesson, don't bottle up anger.)

Oh god you can't beleive how paraniod me and my friends get about that, EVERYONE HAS A LIST..and I might be at the top of a few....

It's normal/natural to have that type of instant feeling toward someone......there's a lotta ppl I despise.

Under the assumption that we have past lives.

I've had this happen to me, though only once, The guy is in year Eleven, though he must only stand up to my nipples because he's so short and skinny. I hate him so much though, even his shrilly high voice. I just try to steer clear of him, otherwise I know I'll go berserk on him for no reason - Even he hasn't even said anything or done anything.

I cant remember ever having instant hatred towards anyone. I've had instant love but not hate. Maybe I did when I was a kid but I cant remember. So there isnt anyone I've ever hated really.. and if there was, I'd probably try not to.

well it's good to know other people experience it and i'm not just an absolute prick. (arguably )
It just seemed really wierd to me because i'd never spoken to him, never heard of him and i didn't know he existed untill i saw him. It's only this one guy too, there's no one else i've ever hated. I was just wondering if anyone could explain why it's only happened to me once and it was this guy i chose to hate?

Oh yeah, I have done that. And I really am not one of those 'bottle it up inside' people lol. I have no problem telling anyone what I think, at any time. (It's been labeled as a fault of mine lol)

Anyway, I believe it has something to do with intuitive feelings. The body language or mannerisms or facial expressions or even spoken language of the person tips you off to a personality you don't like. I am a female, and I find that most of the time, it's other women that I get that feeling with. I usually just leave, so I don't hurt someone's feelings unintentionally.

On a side note, think of it this way. Dogs do the same thing. Ever had your dog try to tear someone's throat out for no reason that you could see? Has your dog barked and growled at a particular person in a room full of people? It's the same thing, they intuitively know they don't like that person.

mmm...instincts are usually worth listening to. I have experienced those instant feelings of strong dislike(I dare not call it hate...i really don't like the associations of it) and try to ignore them and get along with the person who inspired the feelings in me.
Most of the time, my instincts prove themselves right. Funny that. I too am a very laid back relaxed kind of person normally.

Frankly, 'hate at first sight' can be right on, or very incorrect...depending what the feeling is based on. For example, if you immediately *hate* someone because they physically resemble another person you did not get along with in your past, probably not a very valid reason for your hatred. However, if you immediately *hate* someone because they begin to espouse or exhibit behaviors that you find very objectionable, probably a good reason to feel that hatred (not liking racists or bigots for example).

Here's an interesting example of 'incorrect hatred': I'm a life long exerciser. I exercise to control my weight, to stave off osteoporosis, to reduce my risk (runs in my family) for high cholesterol. As an added benefit I look pretty good for someone my age. A woman I had just met told another lady I know that she *hates* me because of how I look. She went on to say she was sure I couldn't have had three kids, and that I'd most likely had plastic surgery! Needless to say her reason for *hating* me is nothing more than thinly veiled jealousy IMO...very similar to the SOURCE being *hated* for being a tall guy.

Anyway, I think we all need to do a careful analysis of why we instantly hate others, because sometimes the real root of this hatred lies within ourselves.

I've had this happen once, i don't mean dislike but real hatred, i only met him twice for a minute or two each time, the first time i had to walk away because i felt myself getting the red mist, the second time a friend of mine spotted me looking a bit weird and drag me away. I've never felt like that about anyone before or since. I'd forgotten about him till reading this thread, thinking about him now he still makes me feel the same. Odd.

And as others have said on here too - i'm normally laid back and chilled out about everything, live and let live and all that..

I can't remember actually seeing or meeting someone and right off saying I hate them....I'm a very suspicious person, and trust hardly anyone, so that feeling may come to mind, and I may listen to my gut feeling and just stay away from them....I can see where Lilly is coming from with hate being jealousy....Many a time I have said "I hate the way the dress looks on her" or "I hate that she has that great body", but it wasn't spiteful towards the person themselves, just that I wanted to look as good as them......

How come you can actually love someone you don't know?

Yes it even has a name. It's called sangre pesada. It translates to heavy blood. It is when you hate someone at first sight or first meeting.
I have had sangre pesada for few ppl. lol

Personally, I don't believe that anyone can actually love someone without getting to know them first. So-called love at first sight can be attributed to lust, infatuation, or even deep admiration. Love is a powerful emotion that needs time to develop and grow. It involves compromises and sacrifices that one must be willing to make. In my opinion, anyone who claims to love someone without actually knowing anything about them is, in fact, simply obsessed with that other person.

As an example, let's say you see or meet someone you find extremely physically attractive, but once you get to know him/her you find that their personality (or mannerisms, beliefs, prejudices, mental attitude, etc.) is completely repulsive to you. Would you say that you still love that person?

Unless you believe that love is something that you can turn on and off at a whim, I don't think it's possible to love a complete stranger.

Of course, this is just my 2 cents.

I'd be interested to know whether people who've hated people at first sight have also felt a strong like for other people upon first meeting them? Because if both happen, I might be tempted to entertain the possibility that it's some kind of instinctive reaction... but I've got to admit that the idea of hating someone you don't know and have barely spoken to doesn't sit easily with me.

I took a psychology class and in that class we learned that people judge you and create this idea about you personality within the first five minutes of meeting you. just a thought.

But how could they be obsessed with that person if they dont know anything about them? Like if one thinks they have love at first sight how can that be obsession when they just met.


I would. I knew a chick who was pretty sweet.. but she was nasty as sometimes.. it completely drove me nuts.. but I loved that about her too. But I look at it like everyone has God in them which is love, and its only the clashing of egos that can feel repulsive. So it feels like I can still love a person on a certain level who is a stranger(or who's ego might repulse me sometimes).

No, I never had either (hate or love).

I tend to wait until someone gives me a reason not to like them. Hate is such a strong word it's sort of disturbing how people can use it so freely.

When I was in the corporate world I would deal with a lot of clients. Some people would say to me, "oh, you're going to hate so-and-so...". In a way that always urked me. I like to get to know someone and judge for myself. There have been people/clients who others "hated" and I would get along with just fine. I don't know. I guess people sometimes tend to jump on a bandwagon whether it's hating or "she's a hoe" or "he's an ass"; I don't like to do that.

Love at first sight? Well, hmmm, I think that might be more possibly human sexual instinct with quasi-passion; pheremones (<---spelling?). I think that may fall into a more physical category than mental.

So, ultimately, I don't see how either can truly happen.

I will say that I have had some sort of instints towards someone if they appear to be negative, hostile, angry and so forth. That does NOT mean I hate that person. I usually try to help someone like that "out"; make them feel better or try to be positive towards them and then they just end up hating ME! Whatever...

C'est la vie! Jody

Okay, perhaps obsession was too strong a word. But I still believe it is an attraction brought on by lust or infatuation and is in no way true love (unless the type of love you're referring to is of the "I love that book" or "I love my coffee in the morning" variety).




But you did eventually get to know her and that's my point. She wasn't a complete stranger.

Let me ask you a question. Suppose you have a friend who sees an actress in a movie for the very first time. He then goes on about how hot she is and how much he would like to meet her in person. Would you say that he honestly loves her?

No. He loves the way she looks, not her soul.

No probably not because he just said he thinks shes 'hot' and wants to meet her in person. But if he said he loved her because of what she is(being apart of the Divine) then I might think he honestly loved her yes.

I never believed that any man can hate another at first sight...thats bullsh*t.
Anyone telling ya otherwise has either got serious self/personal issues or is blatantly prejudice.

I agree with Reb on this.. Hate is a powerful word/emotion to describe someone you don't even know..

Well maybe if the person was grinning and being a smartarse, but other than that I can't see any other reason why I would hate them.

Well everyone differs. If I came across someone like that I would see through the insecure grinning and smartass stuff to someone who has been hurt for whatever reason. I wouldn't hate them for being a grinning smartass. I would think "damn who kicked their cat today?" I would probably smile at him/her and be nice... try to break the negativity. It's all like one big chain reaction to me. I always smile at people. DO it and watch what happens... if they smile and nod back that makes me feel good... and maybe they feel good too.

The thing is, when you smile at someone.... they tend to get all nervous/weird/shy, but alright I will try it more only because you said so.

Then quite obviously that's not love but rather infatuation.




I understand that you're looking at this in a religious context and I have no problem with that. However, I'm sure that you're also well aware that not everyone shares your religious beliefs.



Aw dude, you cut straight to the chase. I agree that it's impossible to either hate or love someone at just a glance. Anyone who feels that they can either hate or love someone by just looking at them for the first time should seriously take a long hard look into themselves because there may be some serious issues that they need to address. Love and hate are not the throw away emotions that the current media portrays them to be.

Yes I'm aware of that, but what does that have to do with anything?? I mean you say above that you have no problem with that etc.. but then you go on to say..


So does this mean your including me in your last quote or not? Because I dont see it as a serious issue as you put it.. to recognise what I said before.. Why would it be? Why would loving the Divine in someone(a stranger)be a serious issue I need to address?

I don't think in this case we mean hate as in 'want that person to die a slow and painful death in front of our eyes' but more of like a 'i do not want to be around this person in any way, shape or form' kind of way. At least I did.

Thats more like resentment then?...

i agree with sundogdayze

the vibe was more avoid at all costs. but not from fear.
the reason you want to pummel them is to drive them off.

it wasnt predjudice
predjudice is based on misconceptions and prior communication.

this is out of the blue from the point of contact. i never met or heard of the guy before.

I always thought prejudice 'pre-judging' someone and or somebody's opinion in advance?...


prejudice:

NOUN:
1a. An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.
b. A preconceived preference or idea. 2. The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions.

sorry you are correct.

thats what's strange though.
I mean, sure, i dislike people, as does everyone, but i wouldn't go as far to say i hate anybody except for this guy. I have no reason to hate him, he's done nothing to me and i hated him even before i ever spoke to him or heard him speak. I know i'm not prejudice as i seem to get on quite well with people and don't really make any enemies or even judge people before i get to know them. Hell, even this guy i hate trys to get on with me and apparently thinks i'm an alright guy, which is beyond me. so i sure as hell hope i don't have self/personal issues .

oh, and i spoke to some people about this yesterday and asked this one guy what they thought about him and they said, "oh, he's alright. can be a bit of a c*nt sometimes though."
maybe i knew this from just looking at him?
god knows, i'm probably just a bit insane.