Upon My Wondering of the American Opinion on Abortion and the Government’s Hand in the Cookie Jar

Long have I thought upon the issue of Abortion in the United States and hardly have I ever truly conceived the notion that any man has a say on violating the ideology and decisions made by any woman whether or not they jumped in bed together with the express intention of allowing a single cell to commandeer the ladies’ womb with the only intention to (like it or not) develop into a child that may one day contribute to society with new invention and innovation. Not only would the above pose a serious issue with the big guy that so much loves to intervene beyond the boundaries of life (you know God…) and into the boundaries of free-will and decision making that we might have to consider that such actions, according to an “expert” that I will only name JF, might have been His vengeance upon us on 9/11; but a moral outrage must exist within those that are for abortion because in its most simple form the only reason you would be for abortion is because you’re pro-choice and hence wholly for the feminist movement which must therefore make you another pig in the dirty pen of feminism, which all that can be said upon that issue is “Oy vey!”

In truth there is only one solution to all of the raging hormones that are being thrown about in this primal battle for woman’s choice: sterilize the entire male population of the United States. There is no need to sterilize the female population since the procedure to do so would be far too risky and possibly painful and by no means do we want that. This solution is absolutely brilliant because it will fix many complications.

First, if you sterilize men then maybe, just maybe, they will be less filled with the testosterone that makes them so useless, lazy and belligerent.

Secondly, the issue of teenage pregnancy will be entirely wiped out. No longer will the US be listed as one of the countries with the highest rates of teen pregnancy (generally we in the US like to gloat about things that are great about our country).

Thirdly, it should be expected that there will be less father’s walking away from a relationship after they are fairly sure they have impregnated their woman.

Fourth, in all fairness of mentioning a woman’s thoughts on the male mind will it be mentioned that at least 75% of the time a man is alive (starting from age 13 of course) does a man think about the “physical” nature of romance. So although being sterile will mean that man will never spread his seed again it also means that he will never have to worry about whether or not he should expect children nine-months after a good party.

Many objections can be brought up against this Program for Male Sterilization, or PMS, such as the objection that a newly married couple may wish to start a family, but no such family can begin without the husband’s ability to contribute in the process of reproduction. An easy fix to such a conundrum would be to allow the government to control a large storage facility of every man’s seed that is obtained before the process of sterilization is carried out. The government would have complete control over the seed until the family wishes to have children, but even then the government has the choice of whether or not to allow the child to be had or not to be had, which would expressly leave all direct control of the creation of human life to the government.

Another objection to PMS would be the ethical implication of how exactly you would permanently sterilize the male population. Generally an unhealthy dose of radiation will do the trick and your only hope may be to prey to some supreme being that your body does not develop any form of cancer due to the undue amount of radiation. However it is reasonable to think that an estimated 30% of the population that the process is carried out upon will develop a form of malignant cancer and kill them slowly but surely after a few years of infection. The other 70% of the male population will be left to carry on the human population of the United States with the seed they had entrusted to the government’s storage facility.

Out of the objections that have been proposed to occur after the reading of this document I can only conclude that one of these objections has good foundation and therefore may be the running flaw behind the entire PMS. The Program for Male Sterilization may cause a severe increase in the number of female complaints of violations towards their bodies without their consent. The main reason these would increase is because men no longer have to worry about impregnating women that they bounce around in the cot with. Such an action can only be means for complaint if consent was not given and proof must be given that shows that you had not given consent whether in the form of a video tape, audio tape, contract or otherwise. If such previously described proof is brought forth and the suspect is diligently and with all due process found to be guilty then the penalty would be severe and entirely within the control of the plaintiff. The penalty cannot exceed a fine of $50,000 dollars or 28 years in federal prison. If the proper indemnification cannot be given then it will be taken out of the defendants paycheck until half of the amount is reached and henceforth will the defendant be ordered to 14 years in prison and must register as a sex offender. If no amends can be paid that exceeds the amount of $1,000 and the defendant has been unemployed for more than 11 months then they will be given a life sentence where they will work off the payment at 40 cents an hour in prison. Hours of work each day will not exceed 4 hours. This will leave the guilty 28 hours a week to gather money, which adds to $11.20. The prison will take an expense of $5 for providing the work leaving the guilty with $6.20. Once the prison has taken their expense the guilty will pay for an envelope, a stamp, a pencil and a sheet of paper on which they will write an apology letter that will be sent in the envelope to the victim. The above steps will be taken until the guilty has sent indemnification in full to the victim.

One can only hope that any man will do all he can do to avoid the foretold measures of punishment for his crimes. If such measures do not reduce the willingness of men to wrongly fondle a lady than the penalties will be increased and any man so much as accused of the crime will be forced to pay a certain fine. No doubt do I have that this will hinder the structure of the judicial system of government. But in no way should anyone feel that it is an unnecessary measure to be taken.

The suggestion that I have set forth upon society is made with all due eloquence and I find no suggestion fallible in its course. The proposal has been made with the thoughts of a citizen of the United States that happens to be of the Male gender. I find none of the above to be heinous, obscure, conservative, terrifying, overly judgmental, liberal or even satirical. Plainly, purely and without apathy on the subject do I wholly submit myself to the majestic philosophies of my PMS.