I guess I would consider myself someone who doesn't accept life as being life, and that's all. I've always had the feeling that there is more to life than what meets the eye, I can't accept the theory that we're here to put in a solid 70-80 years of life and then check out for eternity. I've come to find the more I think about the human mind, dreams, what's reality, memory, etc. The more I'm believing in my original hunch that there is more to life than what meets the eye. After living with panic disorder for a long time, seeing my general health taking a pretty hard shot, and then being able to cure myself without medication or therapy, seeing all my health problems disappear... The power of the mind is something beyond words. I find myself thinking about what reality really is, and if what I believe reality to be, is it really reality at all? Do we only see what we think is real, can we see what we don't know exists? It's a known fact that brain filters what the eyes see, so in that thinking... Are we seeing so much more than our conscience allows us to see? Is there a ton of abstract memories stored in our subconscience? This kind of thinking makes me embrace life more than I have in my past. You know, it's really something to say that I beat a disorder which many people suffer their whole lives with, even with medication and treatment. So sometimes I wonder if I unlocked some sort of mind power that a lot of people think can't be real? How else can I explain my 10fold positive change in health, when I never took any medication or treatment to fix it? How can I suffer with something for so long, but with willpower and belief in myself... I was able to overcome a disorder that is highly medicated? I read all the time people taking different benzo's or a combination of these drugs with little to no improvement in the condition. So i'd have to say that the power in my mind was able to cure me. I'm talking about panic disorder here as well, not just an attack. So it's my thinking that basically, the mind has the ultimate say on anything that goes on in our life. I believe that our mind set, our outlook on life, has a huge impact on wether or not we stay healthy and happy. Real postive thought can equate to real positive experience. I do my best to not follow down the rabbit hole too deeply... but the deeper the rabbit hole gets, the more exciting the possibilites. How about the rest of the members here, What are your thoughts on the mind? Do you accept the mind at face value, as just a library of stored information of our lives.. Or do you believe it to be something more? This might be just a pile of giberish, but it's so hard for me to form detailed questions about the mind because it's so infinite.

The mind can do anything. We just don't let it. Somehow we've created a mental barrier, which we won't be able to get past unless we stop looking at the Ferrari Enzo and focus on what's really important (and no, I'm not talking about the Lamborghini). If you need an example of a mental barrier, take a look at TV? The stuff on it is so stupid, and people watch so much of it, they can't think beyond it. Yick, I'm getting philosopical.

Exactly my thoughts Aries plus i'll add if life was a one off thing, wy is it so unfair.

Why are some people born disabled, retarted and they suffer while others are born perfect.

Why are some people more "lucky" than others. Why do some people have so much money while some people barely survive. And lets admit it, there is a strong bias towards "beautiful". A beautiful "girl or boy" friend makes us so proud in front of our mates while, we don't even bother looking at ugly ones. And in 99% case, if you find a girl or boy good looking, all your mates will feel the same way while nobody talks about "ugly" people.

A real life example: a beautiful girl at bar with lots of friends and 3 - 4 boyfriends.

A beautiful girl at shopping mall with her mum, on crutches, not much friends and no boyfriend. (same age)

A good looking girl at uni, every boy wants to hook up with.
A "not so" good looking girl at uni, nobody wants to hook up with.

If this life is one off then something is seriously wrong and for many people it was great trip but for many others it was like a nightmare and then everything vanishes,

Hopefully its just like a dream, we all have bad dreams and good dreams. Hopefully for the sufferers, after deatth, it was a bad dream and might move to better place now.

Seriuously, with all intutions and stuff, there is more to life than we think there is. You can see yourself if anything really bad happens (like your close family member dies) or something, the moment they die (and you don't know they died), you will feel sad automatically and you wouldn't know whhy.

Also some animals *i think tigers* sleep for more than 20 hours a day and are only awake for 3 hours. So thats more time in dreamland than on "earth". It must be like dreaming to them when they actually wake up and "more real" life when they sleep.

Everything is relative though Vikstar. Does money bring happiness? The general consenses is, no. Many people after winning the lottery admit to life being worse after the lottery winning, so does that downplay luck as well? I think so. As far as beautiful people go, they get more than their fair share of negativity for the way they look. How? Every move they make is closely watched, jealousy is always present, people always want to see these people fail because of the way they look, No matter how sincere and down to earth they are, people have a hard time believing they're real or that they actually care about anything more than themselves. So essentially, Even though it's great to look good, a lot of negativity can follow. As far as being handicapped, it's hard to justify anything when it comes to that. It just seems unfair. However, maybe reincarnation has something to do with it? Maybe our soul chooses a harder more challenging path when we come back to earth, in order to understand and appreciate all that is the human experience? Maybe some people choose to come back handicapped to learn important lessons about life? Maybe people choose to live a harder life, in order to experience all that it is to be human? That's how I like to view those situations... wether i'm right or wrong, to me, It's something I believe.

You made some good points but:

How many people have you seen that after winning the lottery give away all their money or even 20% to people who "really" need it even though their life is worse after winning the lottery. Believe me, I've seen many people in miserable conditions in developing countries - really miserable. Inside they still like it that they have money and they are secure. If you give "Bill Gates" a choice of living on the street, not even that, say take away 50% of his money, would he agree? Never even though he might say that his life is too tensed and too bad with all the money in.

Regarding beautiful people, ill reply to that, sorry gotta go now.

i cant believe the complete pig headed, bigoted and sexist remarks u make vikstar. ur just typical of the type of person that makes the world as bad a place as u say it is god u make me angry just look at what u've said !!

have u never heard of disease, genetically inherited disorders, smoking and drug taking during pregnancy, pollution, thalidomide, poverty, mistreatment, abuse, injury, age, infirmity ?


prosperity, favouritism, peerness, fortune, willpower, desire, hope, chance, need


beauty is what the person sees. 5 hundred years ago beauty was a white face a big wig with lice in it and a fat a***. its ppl like u who have made us have to be thin and tanned with *spam filter* for u to ogle and leer at. u make me sick.



again u guys sit leering at some type of girl when u dont bother to treat all girls witht he same attention this makes a certain type of girl the more favoured. u boys make the problems here that ur talking about. its just u who make the bad luck ur harping on about. grow up and be men instead of boys ur in a playground
u really have no idea of what life is about. u come on here and talk about how life is unfair when its u who is doing all the judging and criticising. u dont know how lucky u are to have girls like us to massage ur egos and tell u ur great an all the rest. just grow up and be adult for a change. look at what ur doing and be sensible.

crissakes.

Of course he wouldn't give up the money, who would? But rich doesn't = happy.

anyway, we're getting off topic here. My original post was about the mind, not beautiful and rich people.

Yup, ill shut off now, but on concluding my argument, my point was some people have more choice at basic level while many other don't.

Showgirl,just one thing. Aren't the girls biased? Don't some girls play with boys as well. Many time I've seen many boys attracted to the same girl. The competition is both ways. In the end sadly the more "attractive" ones from both sides gets more ego fulfilling responses than "not so attractive" ones. My whole argument was this: why is there such unfairness in life.

yes the argument works the same both ways i admit that and i would have ranted off at a girl who said the same things u did. but my post was pertinent to the argument because it refers to the mind of someone like u who really seems to believe that pretty girls deserve more attention than those u call 'not so pretty' or even a girl on crutches !!!



ur creating the world ur complaining about and then moaning that its unfair !! i wonder which category u think ur in. the pretty or the 'not so pretty'

Min

"yes the argument works the same both ways i admit that and i would have ranted off at a girl who said the same things u did. but my post was pertinent to the argument because it refers to the mind of someone like u who really seems to believe that pretty girls deserve more attention than those u call 'not so pretty' or even a girl on crutches !!!"

No you are getting me wrong. I don't condone that. I never believe or like it that a particular group of people (boys and girls both), with specific traits should get favour over other people and have more friends.

Here an example, I am indian and in India, boys prefer fair girls (light indian girls). Its so crazy over there that there are so many bleaching creams which harm your skin and gives you cancers and sh** but still most "brown" girls use them just so they can get a boyfriend. A fair girl over there would usually have atleast 5 or 6 boys wanting to make her girlfriend but not for the darker girls. These boys would also spend huge amount of money pleasing their "fair" girlfriends, taking on expensive dates and stuff. And it is not same for darker girls and its not fair on them and they suffer inside. Is it their fault they are bit more browner than to the girl next to her: NO.
I have seen many darker girls go desperate cuz of this.



I don't like the above and infact i condemn it, but thats the way it is and thats why I came here to post. All I want to say theere must be something after life to even out these things. Cuz if life was a one off thing, then these high demand girls and boys would have had a really nice trip but others would have had a nightmare and that to me dosen't look right.

And for the record: No I am not in "pretty ones" and neither do I care but you do feel the frustration every now and then especially if one of your mate starts talking "dude why this guy has so many gfs and I have none". Wish we could control our genes as well.

No he was not out of topic.. i may say he is more and right to topic.. the mind of these people, the way they think of others beauty or richness.. and they get jealous.. create a negative vibration to those peoples life.. sudden change in mind level after getting rich by lottery... unable to control the mind as same as before... falling in bad habbits.. more n more.. like quantum physic.. what exactly a observer is doing there.. making changes in others life!!!!

I said that to stop the argument that was happening.

I just wanted to say I enjoyed reading this response

Yeah, I'm finding it difficult distinguishing between what the mind does and what goes on in reality. Finding the equilbrium between the two is ellusive. At times like these I want to go join a monk school and fully become one with myself via meditation or something along those lines. Maybe control of what you're trying to figure out is the first step.

Thanks Steph

Just to retriate, I wasn't taking any sides in my first post, just give a view as an observer. Ofcourse, If I could take a pill so that I like all the girls in the world with same intensity, Life wouldn't be a problem wish everyone in this world could.

Just to elaborate further, leaving the "rich are not happy" argument in dump, cuz we can't really be sure about it lets go to beauty argument as sex is at most basic level of animal behaviour, its more "valuable" than money if I can say it. After all in the end we all gather resources to have kids and take care of kids.

according to Aries1982 "

Assuming you are saying that beatiful people are not happy because of all the above negativity they get and so becuz they are not happy, in essence they are not luckier than others and hence suffer the same. I disagree with your argument. Here's why:

Yes, they get all that negativity but you forgetting EGO.

All the people that have been to unis or even high school, will know that once a person (girl or boy) knows she's in demand, she/he DOES ALWAYS get a major ego boost. Yes jealousy is an issue, there even fights (especially boys) over that person, and that person might say she is frustrated and stuff, she still has the ego boost and will act as player in any given opportunity.

And this EGO Boost dosen't happen often in less attractive ones who don't have a single boyfriend or girlfriend infact many of them are just desperate to even have one and believe me, just visit a uni or something and you will see the difference. I can't really give you a hard evidence for it.

According to me: EGO BOOST = very profound happiness, ill go even further and ill say for a moment, its like eternal happiness.

So according to me, "beautiful" people are much more happy than others cuz they have ego boosts repeatedly. Remember your high school or uni, when somebody said "this girl likes you" or "this boy likes you", how you felt assuming your preception of that girl/boy was "beautiful". Well, the players have that feeling all the time.

Just for note: Its a bit hard to explain these things clearly in a normal language as they are more of thoughts in your mind and its much easier discussing these things that actually writing it down.

hahaha oh wow, there's so much more to happiness then knowing someone finds you attractive. I've had lots of girls find me attractive over the years and it has very to little to do with why i'm a happy and positive person. How do you know that less attractive people aren't as happy? It seems to me that "Beautiful" people live a life of uncertainty. With your ego talk, than look at it this way... If someone with a big ego, who think so highly of themselves and knows people find them attractive, how much peace do you think they'll have in life? Do you think with such a large ego they could ever settle for one person and be happy with it? Or do you think it would be more likely that they will always think they could have something better because of their "Beauty"? That sounds more likely to me, and you see it everyday in hollywood, and any place where these "Beautiful" people exist. So my argument is, perhaps beautiful people will never find true love, they'll never be satisfied with what they have, because there will always be soemthing else they know they can have as well. So in there lies the problem of never finding someone who will truly fulfill them. However, look at things from the other side, Two less attractive people meet up, who've never been given a lot of attention and basically classify themselves as far from "beautiful" and they start to date. It's been my observation that these people are so damn happy to have each other that the love they feel for each other is real, it's profound, they look at each other as soul mates, and have no problem settling down and being happy, because perhaps they thought maybe they'd never have a life partner? So who do you think is more likely to feel true love? True love being the emotion that brings profound happiness. Do you think someone who has a huge ego, is always in demand, always has their pick at who to date, and knows there will always be someone else out there? Or do you think two people who come together, who are just happy to have found someone, find acceptance of self in their partner, acceptance that perhaps had never been present before, acceptance that they thought they'd never see. So to me, it would seem that people who are considered less attractive will end up far more happy with their partners, they'll have a much more fulfilling and loving relationship, than someone who is constantly desired. That's how I see it.

""hahaha oh wow, there's so much more to happiness then knowing someone finds you attractive.""

No without bf/gf, people feel lonely. Just search "can't find a boyfriend" or can't find a girlfriend on google and you will see many things. Most replies are like above comment that there's more to happiness, but I doubt for these less attractive people, there are really gonna find much happiness anywhere else.

""I've had lots of girls find me attractive over the years and it has very to little to do with why i'm a happy and positive person.""

Maybe you just don't realise it., maybe it has a lot to do with it. Subconcsious, can be strange thing you know. Who knows, if you were overweight or something and not had a girlfriend in life, you'd still be so positive and happy.

"". How do you know that less attractive people aren't as happy?""

Haha good old question and I'll give you gool ol' answer. Just look at tv commercials, most of them are weight loss and they earn millions and most of time according to research they don't work but still many millions of people especially women buy these products just to find mates. If these less attractive ones were really happy with life, why would they spend so much money on these products.
And I bet all those "secret" books availaible on the internet "how to find a gf instantly" also earn a lot.



You are right and wrong. Damn how do I explain in words!!

I encourage everyone who's looking here to read this article http://www.dailyorange.com/media/storage/p...ls-668070.shtml

The scientific research has rejected the view that "beauty is in preception".

Yes, 2 less attractive people cometogether and have a happy fullfilling married life. Thatts cuz they don't have a choice. They know if there partner is gone, they might not get another one in life.

A highly attractive person has more choices in life. He/she can choose to have a lifelong happy relationship or choose to be picky. The CHOICE is not there for less attractive ones especially for the ones who are at really bottom of beauty stair.
Damn I am loosing words here, but take the case of cheating partners. Why do they cheat, cuz most time to get a ego boost (that confirms someone else other than their partner still likes them and finds them attractive.) and that makes these people happy.

Yes, when they get old, the highly attractive and picky ones might not have partner on thier bedside but it dosen't takeaway the fact that they were still much more happy and more lucky than less attractive ones in thier prime of life. They still had huge ego boosts when sleeping with new person every often.


And beside, beauty or no beauty, everyone gets old and ugly and die. haahhhaha

Sorry, i'm going to have to agree to disagree with you, because there are a ton of "Beatiful" people out there who aren't happy. They abuse drugs, and alcohol just as much as those who aren't considered beautiful, perhaps more. Anyway, This is a debate that can go on for ages and there is no solid proof of who is happier, because people tend to hide their true feelings and insecurities. If you depend on someone else in life to constantly affirm that you should feel good about yourself, you obviously don't feel good about yourself. Feeling true happiness can only come from the inside, you must love yourself unconditionally before you can ever be truly happy. True happiness doesn't come from money, or girls, or guys, or anything like that. It has to originate inside you, and you have to feel it from within yourself.

Everyone needs love/friends to keep their mind cool... i seen it is very difficult to keep their mind cool if they are alone but it is good exercise to mind.. Here we debate so many things... each one interested in one or another topic or post... no one going to think how they look lean or fat, beauty or ugly... what they see is how beauty his their vision...

is this a freudian slip or what ? u make it very difficult to believe u dont condone this sort of behaviour when u slip up like that.



I agree with u, it is all an ego boost for these people, thats what makes it wrong when they allow the simple base impulse of flattery to overruel their superego.
i disagree with ur definition of ego boost because u describe it in solely positive terms. as the ego can also be described as an 'exaggerated impression of self importance' or even 'conceit' an ego boost is just a re-inforcement of that so making self-important people feel even more important or re-assured of their importance than they really are.
ppl neglect the issues of what it is right to do and what those ppls underdeveloped superego tells them to.

Min x

No denying that having love/friends contributes to happiness, but Happiness doesn't stem from love and admiration from others, it's stems from the opinion you have of yourself and your worth. Tons of people are surrounded by friends and loved ones and they still feel unhappy. I'm basically talking about the fact that you have to really love yourself(And I don't mean that in a conceited way) in order to have true happiness. Friends and Love, although they are great, shouldn't be the guide that is happiness, Friends and Love should be the reward of someone who is truly happy with one's self. Everyone know's a lot of people who have tons of friends, and love from family and others, who just aren't happy. Why? It's not because the love admiration doesn't exist from others, because it does. It's the fact that love and admiration for theirself doesn't exist, or they have a poor self image of themselves. This happens and both Beautiful people and the not so beautiful... Physically speaking.

yes, absolutely. ur talking Tao and Te.

Minny xx

Yes, the mind is capable of more than we realise. Although physically its powers have limitations, psychologically its power is almost incomprehensible.

Evolutionary forces determine what is attractive . Certainly youth and beauty may be seen as desirable in a mate, but so can power and wealth. Our mind is also able to overule these evolutionary predispositions and decide, using other value systems, who we find desirable.

Finally, it would appear that scientists have just discovered that happiness is predominately a genetic trait. While we can do a lot with our mind to overcome this genetic predisposition, some people are simply born happy and will always be happy largely regardless of their physical cicumstances while others are born unhappy/dissatisfied and will remain that way no matter what their circumstances. One study of major lottery winners tends to confirm this . Major wealth did not make unhappy peole basically any happier . Happy people were happy both before they got rich and afterwards.

This is based on a study of 900 twins, by the University of Edinburgh, and observations by Camelot, the Uk lottery operators.

Well, I will have to agree that the mind is much more powerful than we give it credit for. If you can get through the article on the main page about remote viewing, the author mentions a patient who literally had almost no brain and yet his mental faculties were better than average. I used to hear scientists claim that we only use about 5% of our brain capacity. In any event, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Real beauty comes from their vision.. there no importance for physical values.. need mind exercise... not body exercise

I didn't want to reply any more on this thread but people dosen't seem to care.



Showgirl, lets get this straight for once and all. If I am in bed with some girl who I don't find attractive, my **** won't even stand up. Then wats the use. Is it not unfair on the girl as well.
My mate just recently got so desperate that he slept with a girl whichever would sleep with him. Do I need to say anythng more what happened. You can imagine yourself.

Bottomline = good looks = matters = more mates = more happier than the not good looks.

Yes i'll agree that more mony = can be not happy but in the end one thing we all desire and we all try to do is = have sex and reproduce.

No good looks = no mates = no reproduction = not happy.

In the hindsight I think Muslim relegion ( now I am NOT muslim and never will b is right when it discourages holding hands and kissing on streets and outside. Other less attractive boys and girls atleast don't feel jealousy and unfairness looking at "lucky ones" doing the sh**.

We can all harp on that happiness comes from inside and stuff but I have seen enough cases where desperately ugly people don't think so.

Yes I believe in reincarnation, after life etc, infact unfairness in this world only proves to me that there must be something after life to even out things.

Also ugliness could be anything not just looks, like small height, or anything that prevents the opposite sex falling in love with you.

i really dont know why i waste my breath sometimes. some ppl just dont care what sort of impression they make...



so, let me ask u when u said this :




..you were lying !!! I see now...

vikstyr, i find it offensive that u would go to bed with 'some girl who I don't find attractive' that is just the sort of behaviour that perpetuates the nasty and bigoted regime that u pretend to dislike. the fact that ur 'mate' got so desparate that he slept with a girl 'whichever would sleep with him' is more of a reflection on the pity shown by the girl than the taste of ur 'mate'. i would hope that she shows less pity in future.

i have a wonderful boyfriend. he thinks nothing more of hugging and kissing me in public. i'm not as fantastic looking as Kylie Minogue, who incidentally is only 5 foot andafagpaper tall , but she has far more fans and lovers that u could ever dream of. Eoin loves to hold and kiss me in the street or the park, in uni and at home and that dont discourage other ppl here from doing the same thing.

rather that than hide it.

Min

Regime!!! "Pity shown by the girl" Now I know that you are a fundamentalist FEMINIST. They were just 2 desperate ppl who didn't had a choice, nobody would wana go with the/sleep with them etc.

Also its not that we have a choice, especially us boys in who we like, we go on looks, i admit, but its not that we can do anything about. I only wish we could do something about it.

" Kylie Minogue, who incidentally is only 5 foot andafagpaper tall "

5 foot is actually pretty good height for women, most would agree. Average height for women in this world is I think 5 2.
Give some example of 5 feet men having numerous lovers or 4.5 feet women having numerous lovers.

the issue is not whether i'm a feminist or not, i just dont like hypocrisy. the crux of my argument in this discussion is that u made ur play in this thread by talking about how 'not so pretty' girls are ignored by society in general and young males in particular, then went on to say how awful it was....... next breath, ur saying how u'll sleep with any girl who is desparate !!

i think you should examine ur place in ur social circle a bit more closely. every girl has a choice to sleep with someone or not. maybe the girls were dogfighting. ever think of that ?

you can, its just that u have to want to.

Min

I too believe there is much more to the human mind than we can comprehend. For instance, if atoms are 99.99% empty space and all matter is made of atoms, how is it that we can feel a tree? Are we really sensing the electrical field of the atoms and our mind perceives it as a tree? If that is the case, why do we see one electrical field as one object and another as something completely different? When we “see” some object, we have no physical contact with it at all, yet we have a perception of it. And that perception really has nothing to do with the physical properties of the object; the perception is of the reflected light off of it. How do we know that what our minds perceive is what we are really seeing? Magicians use slight of hand to deceive our sight perception, if it is that easy to deceive, how valid is it? Water is water; yet when the velocity at which the atoms of the water molecules vibrate changes, we perceive it differently. When we slow the velocity way down we perceive it as a solid, increase the velocity some and our perception of it is liquid, increase it more and it is perceived as a gas.

What is it about the mind that allows ‘hope’ to change our entire outlook on something when in actuality nothing about it has changed at all? I know adult people that have little or no concept of the difference between reality and fantasy; and other people who have such a tangible grasp of the concept that I am awe struck when they talk about it. Why is that? If the mind is such an ethereal thing how can unbalancing the chemicals of its physical counterpart alter its ability to perceive?

Like you said, it is easy to go down a rabbit hole when you think about all of the things you don’t understand about the mind, but take them for granted.

U tell them Girl
the topic was the Mind not the world

I'd like to add my own experiences into the whole 'beauty' and popularity debate, as well as show just how important the mind is in regards to them. First off, I am by no means what one would think of as fitting into the standard 'good looking' mold. I'm terribly out of shape, my complexion is horrible, i wear glasses, my teeth are a little crooked, the whole 9 yards.

During my high school years, I was shunned by most social groups, I had very few friends, and the idea of getting a girlfriend was well out of my grasp. It wasn't that I didn't try, I asked several girls out on different occasions, and unless it was a situation where the only way she would get to go to an event was to go with me, I was pretty much out of luck. This continued all the way through high school, and I was pretty well resigned to the fact that I was unattractive, and that I was always going to have problems making friends and meeting people. Overall, I was really unhappy with myself, but no matter what I tried, I couldn't change things (and i tried LOTS of things, diets, skin creams, special exercise routines, etc).

After graduation, I decided to take a year off school to work and decide what I wanted to do with my life, which turned into three years. During this time, a great friend of mine told me that in order to make people like me, I first had to like myself. It took a little while, but I eventually took what she said to heart, and started working on turning my image of myself around. By the time I was ready to go to college, I was happy with myself just as I was, and refused to let anyone else's opinion make a difference in what I thought. Basically, I was how I was, and I was happy with it.

Within the first few months of being in college, I had a huge group of friends, I was well liked by everyone in my dorm building, I had a girlfriend, and knew about several other girls who were interested in me. It completely amazed me, the only thing that I had changed was my mind, but suddenly the whole world was reacting, and everything was different. This continued throughout college, and still much that way today, and all because rather than take the 'standard' view towards the way I look, (and also to my interests, I'm a big nerd at heart, math & video games are my favorite hobbies ), I made my own view.

make us laugh but not at u. be confident but not cocky. remember the important things for us as well as u. trust and be trusted. thats all there is to it !!

Min xx

Great post, and good for you. I'm glad you get the big picture, that happiness stems from within.