Something for the Aussies


1. You know the meaning of the word 'girt'.

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. *Snip: this one's a little too illegal for our website - PA*.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs 'refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.

10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.

11. You believe the 'l' in the word ' Australia ' is optional.

12. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend 'a total b#stard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a b#stard'.

15. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'.

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

31. You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'.

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.

35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'.

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

ROFLMAO Classic dahlia absolute classic

lol.. loving it dahlia.. i cacked myself on many an occasion.. especially number 30... have been there.

Two right, bloke, 'n howzit goin, how'd ya be, could ya wanna, no wuzza's cool thread Dahlia!!!!!

Number twenty is so true. Russel Crowe is a Kiwi, but YAY we still have Mel Gibson. lol
So Im not alone on number 23. sweet!!!!
I admit to number 40, I know all of Dorethea Macellars - "Wide Brown Land" If that'll make up for it.
I know pretty much all of John Williamsons songs, met Slim Dusty.
I can almost skull a full stubbie!!!! lol Has to be ice cool Carlton Cold though.
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!!!!!

22 is my fave, my hubby thought I was mad the first time I started singing along in a pub years ago. Poor guy needed an edumaction in classic aussie rock.

and number 30, me too tigger. ROFL. I can remember it vividly, Fraser Island when I was 8, and it was no ordinary fly, it was a freaking huge sand fly, copped a lot for that the entire trip.

ha that is tooooo good lol -

penwif rulz!!!

Absolutely brilliant dahlia, that list is so true. I wonder how much of that list the members from overseas understand.

Classic BD!so true,yet kinda scary.

hahaha that so funny

im in a classroom right now, and i started laughing at these and now every1 is looking at me funny....
these are hilarious, did you make them up or did you get them from somewhere?

an email my hubby sent me, lol

that was a good list

they are so true and funny
just about all of them i can agree with or relate to
and i also wonder how many overseas people get/understand?