See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.

Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say; 'Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that.'

Constantly fidget with underwear waistband, then blurt: 'The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don't ya' think?'

After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify with, 'Of course I was totally hammered at the time.'

Inquire on office policy of friends staying over.

Claim you wouldn't even need a sit-in job if Al Einstein hadn't stolen your secret patent for '2000 Flushes'.

Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.

Ask if it's O.K. that you sit on the floor.

Allow that you would little impact on the overhead budget, because you swiped all the supplies from your other job.

Although parking was free, insist that they validate something or you're not leaving.

Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you didn't feel like making anything else up.

Ask the secretary if she'll sit on your lap during the interview.

Walk into interviewer's office with a tape measure, measure office from a few angles, put away, declare; 'NOW we can begin.'

When making small talk and the Simpson trial comes up, shout: You mean Homer and Marge are in some kind of trouble?'

Sniff two of your fingers hold out toward interviewer, ask; 'smell these, these smell funny to you???'

Upon walking in to the office for first time, ask receptionist to hold all your calls.

Okay, this is 100% true.

My brother's wife was despirate for a job. Moments after handing in her resumé at a local coffee shop, she overhears a customer order something off the menu she doesn't particularely care for. She yells out "Ew, who would order that!" when she was standing right next to the guy. She didn't get a call. I was there when it happened so I know it's true.

The same time she was looking for a job she had 2 interviews in the same week. She told both interviewers about the other interview. Either place called her. She told us about this one.

I once read a handwritten cover letter that was dedicated to the fact that he had no mental problems...or the guy that emphasied that he went to bible camp as a child, but has not been able to get a job since being released from prison.