I remember hearing a much stranger version of St. Nick being told when I was a kid. In the version I heard, Nicholas was a Porugeuse thief and a womanizer, resulting in so many illegitimate children that he lost track of them. He was incredibly fond of all children in lieu of specific ones for this reason, and was said to reward them as often as possible with the spoils of his profession. The story gets strange after a new ruler comes to power who is fond of children for a much darker reason; he's a cannibal and enjoys killing them and pickling their bodies before he eats them. Nicholas finds out to his horror that some of his children, either actual or adopted, have been abducted and breaking into the palace he discovers the grisly truth. He confronts the evil Lord (I think it was a Baron or someone titled) and there is a terrible sword fight and a resulting fire. The Baron escapes on a ship whose cargo hold is filled with pickled children and Nicholas gives chase. He boards the ship, only to be terribly wounded. Nicholas falls to the deck, weeping blood and repenting for his sins, begging God to forgive him and give him the strength to kill the evil Baron. He is granted his wish and regains his feet, banging his sword on the deck of the ship three times and calling for the children below to come out and seek their vengeance. The children break out of their brine barrels and surround the Baron, carrying him over the rails of the ship and into the water where he drowns.

This version has Saint Nick being patron Saint of thieves and children and I've always wondered as to the validity of it. It has petty larceny, womanizing, cannibalism, sword fights and even zombies thrown in at the end of a nice little redemptive tale. It made Christmas a little more interesting and took away the Coke imagery when we were kids (fat guy in a coke can without the traditional greens), so I just wanted to see if anybody else had heard this variation.

i think that thats kind of a crude pic of st. nick

its funny though

Hrrm. That is quite an interesting story. I'm half portuguese, but I have never heard that story. It definitely would have made Christmas much more interesting. I admit you have piqued my curiosity. Thanks for sharing it. I look forward to seeing if anyone else can recall hearing the same story (or any variations, etc.) And I shall try to do a little research to find out more.

Great! It'd be awesome to hear more on the story or debunk it. I'd still probably rather tell this version to my kids then the mass media product pushing version. What's not to love in a Santa Claus who whoops up on the bad guy and has a way with the ladies?

Well, I suppose the ability to enter/exit a building via the chimney would be a useful technique if - for example - the husband arrived home unexpectadly.

After all, evertyone knows that Santa comes down the chimney.

Oh.. wait.. no.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Meow Purr.