A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York a couple of days before
Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you
that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is
enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you
call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way
they're getting divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She
calls Phoenix immediately and screams at her father, "You are not
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do
a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

So they should

the things you have to do to get you kids to visit