You know you've gotten old when...


Chugging a beer means sipping on it for an hour and a half.

Having a good BM is more important than having an orgasm.

You think anyone under 50 is way too young to date.

You think eye bags look sexy.

You begin to think your shaky hand due to palsy can be used as a sexual technique to attract women.

You pretend you're smoking an imaginary joint and you actually get high.

You still refer to marijuana cigarettes as "joints".

Every stripper you've ever slipped a dollar into their thong has long since died of old age.

You consider adult diapers as sports equipment.


Okay old timers, add your own.

Well from my age group...

You blow into disk slots just like the old cartriage systems...

Those were great!! I guess I'm not officially old as of yet...

You watch professional athletes and say "I remember seeing his Dad......"

Seeing your musical idols hit 60

My god I'm dating myself......

Dating yourself is more enjoyable than dating your spouse....

"And you know, that you're over the hill, when your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill" - Lowell George

Lowell Who???

LMAO!

WOW! See, I told my ol' man he was getting old!

When your body starts to go out more than you do.

Uh Oh!

I'll add to this one...When a younger guy asks you out and you have to tell him, "no way" 'cause you're probably older than his Mom!

Aw Lilly. That just goes to show the difference between men and women. If a younger woman displayed an interest in an older man, and he thought he's older than her mother, then he'd definitely get ideas which involved the number 3.

Then again...

Anywho.

You no longer feel it necessary to blame the dog for your flatulence.

You look at a mummy exhibited behind glass and think you're look at your own reflection.

You realize the mummy is off to the side and it is your reflection.

You start seeking out women who are great in the kitchen rather than great in the sack.

You remember sending booty calls by snail mail.

OMG! Can't...stop...laughing....




Logically fallacious ('tongue in cheek' mode). There are some of us 'old babes' who are proficient in more than just one area!

I'm not well informed about getting old yet...

but you can tell you've become a Teenager when become aware of the 'good old days' and even more aware that you weren't there at the time.

Not to worry, once you get past the initial 'rough spots' of adolescence you'll start living your very own "good old days".

You think it's cool that your teen age son likes the same music you got into when you were in high school... until you realize he calls it CLASSIC Rock

I turned 54 yesterday and realized I'm in my Golden Years right now.

I see more Gold with with more trips to the Rest Room!

Have a good what now??

Sadly, again that's the difference between men and women.

Not saying that I've experienced any problems, you understand...

Oh, so tempting!

But I won't say it. I'll be nice.

You know you've gotten old when...


You consider 80º (27ºC) weather to be chilly.

You nick yourself shaving and you don't bleed.

You start to chat up a younger woman and think everything is going fine until she suddenly tells you that you remind her of her grandfather.

You start to chat up a younger woman and suddenly realize that you are her grandfather.

You no longer accept massages because you're afraid something will break.

Taking naps has become your favorite pass time.

You've entered your third childhood.

I don't know what it is either, Bone Marrow, Blood Money, Bitter Marmalade. It's something obvious, but fess up guys, what is it??

BM = bowel movement.

ahhhhh, I see, thanks for that.

You cant tell the difference between heavy metal and beethoven...

all this makes me feel sooooooo young ! quite refreshing actually !

You'll be old a lot faster than you think.

Sad, but true.

everything in here is sooooooo funny,lmao

When your up at the bc of dawn and down with the sun.

You know your getting old when you don't remember being absent minded.

Having a BM will never that important.

Its okay old people!!!

After all, its better to be over the hill.........


than buried under it.

lmfao!!!