...The human female!

OK, not funny, but yeah...

I'm a hermit. I've been homeschooled since 2002 (6th grade) and moved in 2004, so I never got to know anyone from here, other than the occasional meeting with the girl next door. Well, two doors down. But I'm not interested in her.

I'm not bad looking (or maybe I am, here's a pic in which the lighting sucks horribly) and as you can see, not fat. I used to be, actually. I lost something like 30 pounds since November

So my problem actually comes in three forms:
1. Distrust of people as a whole. Since I've been able to watch people and how they function in normal society, I just don't trust people. Everyone I've met (including my biological mother, as well as all of my cousins) has screwed me over in some way, and sure, it's somewhat normal in life, but I just don't like it.
2. Dislike of people as a whole. Yes, you're a person, I'm a person, etc. What I mean is that from being screwed over so often, I just don't like people. Then from the perspective of the hermit who watches the world go by, I just don't like the prospect of love in itself. It seems sort of like you'll go crazy for someone and then it's over fast. I don't understand how anyone could indulge in such an embarrassing cycle.
3. I know next to no one. The girl two houses away is a cheerleader, so she's popular. If required, I could ask her for help, and have before, but I just seem to think that I don't know how to interact normally with people on a social level. What is right and wrong? I don't know.

From like, September to Jan. I knew someone, sort of. We met, matched up, she was single, and I fell for her prematurely. So on the plus side, I knew that and made no real advances, or even close to it. I get the feeling she knew, even though I didn't make it obvious... then out of the blue in January after being lied to a bunch by her (and apparently her mother -- long, long story there, but I caught them both contradicting each other and themselves even) I decided something along the lines of "Screw it, I'm done with that", and nothing has really happened since then. I'll see her on occasion, but that's about it, I think.

So as you can tell, I don't like or trust people, I know no one aside from one person that could help, and I have no clue what I'm doing.

Anyone here who is either a ladies man or man's lady that could help somewhat? I'm utterly clueless. I don't even know if it's what I really want. Lately, I've been pretty lonely and think I need someone, and then use my warped logic to fight it off and say I don't need this at all because it'll lead to a load of disappointment and what-not.

I'm just completely lost here...

I've known six people who have been home schooled, and everyone of them has difficulty socializing with pretty much anyone, same gender or not. Gong to school has a lot of downfalls, bullying etc, but it does teach us how to socialize.

This is just a personal option and not solid facts, lol.

There a wierd speciese those females... I'm fairly clueless myself...

Self-consicousness, that's all. Doesn't really matter how you come across.

"Run away from women, son. Die alone and afraid." ~ Tom Servo

I agree with this.

I'm not sure if you're still studying, but how about a part time job? that's a good way of meeting and socialising with people? If you got a job where you're mingling with the general public, you're forced to be social and interact, it might help.

As for the ladies, I wouldn't worry about dating casually, I mean the first person you go out with doesn't have to be the love of your life. You say you're worried about being disappointed, but if you don't put high expectations on a casual relationship, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much if it didn't work out? maybe you'd be pleasantly surpised if it did.

Hope this makes sense and good luck.

so what if you not interested in her ? be nice to her, she can introduce you to her friends

Are you looking to trust someone 100%? You might have set your expectations too high.

Start by finding someone whose company you enjoy, and trust them for their better qualities. Of course, this will require you make some good judgement calls and you can only learn good judgement by failing a few times.

I have a few friends who I can trust for certain aspects of their personality... they will be consistent. One friend of mine I will always trust to be there for me when I really need someone to be there. He is Johnny On the Spot in that resepct. What I can't trust, is that if we go anywhere together, in teh same vehicle, like on vacation anywhere, I will NEVER get home on the right day. I can not trust that man to stick to a schedule, and his schedule in his mind is the only one that matters.

Trust people for their admirable qualities, the qualities that made you like them in the first place. Then recognize the aspects of their personalities that you don't think you can trust, and make sure you don't put yourself in a place to be hurt by them.

And, that's all I have to say about that. LOL.

(My daughter was homeschooled her entire life, she doesn't seem to have any social problems trusting people, but she also went to college at 15... her social ciricle is a lot older than she is)

Not everyone is bad and duplicitous lol. You have just had some bad luck methinks Don't be scarred off loving and living, you get hurt in life but the good can definitely make up for the bad IMO.

You should go out and meet people with similar interests if you don't get enough human interaction/friendship building in your current mode of doing things.

Why not join some groups with people who have similar interests? Build yourself a base of male friends and they can also introduce you to some girls.

Some people are natural socialisers, but I do think it is a bit of a skill that can be learnt - you just haven't had the opportunity to practice.


Good luck

Serenade her with some Nattefrost!

Give me more advice like this! Maybe take her on a date where we find the accursed winterdemon of the new moon?

I have not found my future ex wife myself. Are you going to college? If so their are a lot of different people there and since you are looking for girls of a specific nature, I say your best bet is too wait for college, find clubs/organizations that you are interested in and plainly just have faith in yourself. There is a reason you always see guys with girls that are out of their league, you know the Fred Flinstone and Wilma syndrome, I read a report recently saying that women who marry less attractive men have happier marriages. Don't ever be cocky, or arragant, just be confident or at least look the part ... most of the time that is all it takes.

I think you've been given some great advice from the people here.

It appears that you want to jump right into a serious relationship. Just learn to socialize with people first. Have fun and meet people. After awhile you're bound to find a connection with someone. Patience is the key.

It's more like the main issues pertain to the fact that I don't like or trust people, and even if I did, the whole dating and relationship thing seems like a generally embarrassing prospect.

College is in about... a year and five months. Some crappy community college for two years, then transferring elsewhere...

Oh don't poo-poo community colleges... they can be quite good; I'm a huge supporter of them. My homeschooled daughter went to a CC, it was a very good thing. If you want more social interaction, you can go to a community college right now, most of them, the only requirement is that you have to be over 15 years old. They'll probably have you take a brain dead math and english placement test, but other than that, you're in like flynn.

My daughter never completed high school or even got a GED. She just skipped down to the CC when she was 15 and enrolled. She's working on an MBA now and she's only 20.

Community Colleges are good. You get the same classes as university students get in their freshman and sophomore years, but the classes are smaller, more intimate, and cost a 1/4 of the price. Not a shabby deal.

Only problem is that I know about as much math as your average fifth grade student! But I'm good in everything else and aw crap we got off topic...

I agree with the poster who said to get a part time job, and keep it till you start school. Even if it is hard. You need to broaden your horizons. Trust me these years go by fast and you don't want to look back and be like 'what have I done with my life?'

As far a woman go, if you want to atrract one have a full life with out one. Get a hobby, job, work on your math so you won't have trouble in college. The right girl will arrive when you least expect it. Find a way to keep busy even if people bug you endure them.

Best of luck.

Oh, it's not really off topic. My homeschooled daughter had no boyfriends or really friends until she went to CC. It doesnt' matter if your math skills are poor. It's just a placement test. They'll put you in a 90 level math class and you'll catch up.

My daughter chose to catch up on her math through Sylvan, but it's more expensive than a college class. LOL.

Also check with the CC in your area. Depending on the laws in your state, you might actually be able to go to community college for free until you're 21 because you don't have a high school diploma (I'm assuming you're under 21). Many state CC's will receive the money the HS would, in lieu of you paying tuition. Check it out, it's a sweet deal and you'll meet cool people that are a lot like you!

meeting people isnt that hard.meeting girls is even easier,,just got to be cool,,and i dont mean like someone off of tv just dont be like a excited little puppy with a new bone...and get new sunglasses those look like child pretdator glasses,ha

look im a big ugly tattooed shaved head animal that just married a little sweetheart of a girl (im 33 shes 21)




meeting girls is easeir then you think,few things to remember

1.they are more self conciouse then you are,so relax there just as nervouse

2.when a girl sees you with another girl its always a plus,,they think you must have something to offer if she is with you,,so make a girl your firend,,and youll meet all of her friends and their friends by just hanging out its a open market,plus your friend will talk good about you to her friends like free advertisment,,, just go to be cool,hah making friends with a cheerleader isnt a bad thing,,,but neither is some book worm,,they all can be fun to hang with and they all can lead you to the promissed land of femal freidns haha,

3.just relax and learn how to have a normal conversation,,make the girl feel comfortable but to do that you have to learn to relax and be comfortable talking to them.its not hard just pretend your listening smile and laugh when she laughs...and pick on them a little bit not like your a fat pig,,,but tease her a little about little things you notice,like how she laughs or says something silly..that way your not just fawning over her,,girls dont want a push over nice guy..but dont be a dick....and dont ask girls for help unless they are a really close friend,,,just act like its no big deal to hang with them.

4.just have fun,,,dont look for love that stuff comes when your not looking for it,,thats why its so scary because it just grabs you when your not looking..

5.dont be affraid to walk up to a girl and talk to them,,if you are somewhere and make eye contackt more then once,and they arnt throwing things at you chances are they are couriouse,,go introduce yourself

realy its that simple no big secret,just takes practice to build that self confidence,,and so what if she turns you down theres plenty of girls to meet,,,,,,,




haha then theres the girls with realy low self esteem and daddy issues haha but your not ready for that kind of adventure yet get to know the normal ones first,,then make sure you date a troubled girl atleast once in your life,,its a crazy ride.