Late last night I was contemplating with tears in my pillow. I was thinking if I should keep on pretending or just let my feelings show. Deep inside I know you know about this love I have for you. But I was thinking if you also have knowledge that you have broken my heart in two. But would you care even if you would find out how much I’m hurting inside? I know very well that you don’t love me but I really don’t care at all even if it hurts so much to know that. I’ve felt this kind of pain before with someone whom I loved very much just like I love you and I think this time I’m already used to it. I mean the pain of loving someone who can never love me back. How could I be so stupid and make the same mistake. Who ever said that “you learn from your mistakes”?
You are very much like the boy I loved before because you did all the same things that he did. Just like him you made me cry, just like him you have broken my heart and dreams. How could two different people be very much alike at the same time? I wish I could make you love me too but I guess wishes are never made to be granted coz mine never was. I have stopped believing in falling starts and wishing wells. I wish I could stop my heart from loving you but I can’t. I never meant to fall in love with you and I never meant to cry but I could just not conceal my grief inside so I let it out in forms of liquid falling form my eyes. I know you saw the tears but I just couldn’t admit that they were all because of you. I’ve come this far pretending that I don’t love you and I wouldn’t dare stop now. I don’t know if time would heal all the wounds that you have given me. I just know that the only cure is to have you love me too but that will never happen not in reality. Perhaps the best thing for me to do now is to let you go but I won’t. I will continue loving you and you don’t have to love me back because it’s enough for me to have you as a friend. I would no longer want to have your heart because I now it doesn’t love me.