http://www.thestar.com/columnists/article/427542

"Newsflash: people who drive black cars suffer from a lack of confidence while those in orange vehicles are more likely to experience mood swings.

Leaving aside the obvious – wouldn't you have to be unstable to buy an orange vehicle? – this invaluable data comes from a recent survey conducted by Oregon-based CNW Marketing Research.

The findings contribute new insights to the scientific field known as "What X Reveals About Your Personality."

Consider the astonishing evolution of people who drive green-coloured cars.

In 1991, a story in The Evening Standard described them as "lacking in competitive spirit." In this newspaper, three years later, an expert concluded they were "conventional" and "probably overweight."

Undaunted, these dullards continued to slide their chubby bodies into their shrub-hued vehicles until conventional wisdom exploded like a yellow Pinto.

In 1997, one observer said green car owners were actually "robust." Seven years later, the experts agreed: these people were stable and way cooler than the losers tooling around in ochre wagons.

Today, according to the CNW survey, people who drive emerald cars boast the highest confidence levels, at 5.5 per cent above average, whatever that means.

Of course, cars aren't the only measure of personality.

Did you know short hair reflects an artistic disposition? Or that silver jewellery means you're a leader? Or that men who wear thongs are very outgoing, not to mention very creepy?

In 1990, a French designer linked personality to – wait for it – beach towels. Ambitious people favour towels emblazoned with a nautical or jungle motif. By contrast, the terminally nice are partial to cartoon characters. (Ladies, avoid dating men who like toucans on their towels; these guys are alcoholics.)

In 1995, The Kansas City Star turned its attention to neckties. Bold colours, according to a social psychology professor from Tulane University, say "I'm a happy guy, and this is a happy tie!"

Three years later, as corporations began to fund the research, new disciplines emerged, including "flavourology." In a groundbreaking study from 1998 titled "Get The Scoop On Your Personality," research conducted for Dreyer's Grand Ice Cream found that "vanilla fans are actually colourful, impulsive, risk takers."