I have a friend that e-mailed me earlier, and he's a little upset that life's not going his way. He's only 21, so has a lot to learn, lol. And he has a few personal issues, etc. And he's just reevaluating his life; due to a few comments people have made, and he asked a simple question... "what makes a Man?"

Now, due to a few that might make some sexual coupling jokes, etc, I will make it clear that he means what makes a man a man? His family - having children? His job? His responsibilities? Just wondering how you would answer that question... "what makes a Man?"

Being comfortable with himself and everything else that's going on, whilst knowing when to put his foot down, when to say no, when to step away and yes when to mitigate damages and strike. And for that matter who.

Knowing that a family is a huge responsibility and not something you can walk away from at any time, meaning being careful who with and when.

Always remembering to be grateful for what he has, because one day it may not be there, trying to get things right the first time to spare himself and others unnecessary pain/inconvenience/regret.

In a word, his judgement.

Just my opinion any way.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

-- Rudyard Kipling

-Honesty; to others especially to yourself, screw what others think & or the sh*t they talk behind your back, it just means your two steps ahead.
-Respect especially towards elders (they've been there done that, we can a lot learn off em).
-Independence; do it yourself try not to rely on anyone else. <-- most important.
-Stay focused on your goals in life, let no one get in your way or side track you.
-Help others where ever possible but it's gotta be genuine coming from the heart or it's not worth doing at all. (I don't understand or explain it but the good ya do will come back at ya 10 fold sooner or later, just don't hang around expecting it)

Just my basic take, hope that helps some.


Always remember, no one is perfect...that's why pencils have erasers. lol!

I actually feel sorry for men in todays society......There's so much pressure put on them to look a certain way and act a certain way and also to think a certain way......

I echo what Rebel ^^^ said, it's important to be true to yourself and respect everyone around you and you can't go wrong.....

never bend, always bow
keep your word it is your bond
forgive nothing, forget everything that offends you, as things change and so will you
remain true to one self truth be it small or large, this will give you character
leave nothing important to family or friends, they will always do what they think is best for you
but most of all respect what you love and you find love a thousand fold in it


oh yes NEVER BE AFFAID TO BE THE MAN YOU FEEL YOU ARE regardless of what the rest of the boys say






peace out wolfie

being a man means,
knowing you dont know everything but still confident enough to try anything.
loyal to friends and family
earns his respcet and earns his place in the world..not wait for someone to giver it to them..
is not scared to fail but never gives up.
knowing you can win the fight and being able to walk away
trying everyday to live up to the person your children think you are.

Knowing when to stop talking, and quite down. And at the same time, knowing when to yell.

Same thing that makes a woman. In today's currency, about $5 worth of elements and $1,000,000 worth of nurturing, food, and education in the arts and sciences.

Thanks gabolai, I'm glad you quoted Kipling...

I found one, my sweetie is the greatest. We have been together 5 years and it's not just one thing that makes him man, but a collection of his kindness, strengh, hard work, humor, tenderness, service and wisdom. I just love him so.

I believe a man finds himself over time, just like a woman. It takes patience and courage to go within and pull out the best qualities in the self and make those shine.

It's not a bad thing thing to have a little pain in life, it challenges us to be better. I believe a man (a good man) has practiced this.

Be honest about yourself, accept the nature of who you are.

Don't 'try' to be a man, just be.

Admit and accept your mistakes.

Like others have said, this takes time. Finding who you are, all the flaws in you as well as all the 'good bits' can take years. Have patience, because time may seem to go by quickly, but this is the most important journey of your life and it's worth admiring the scenery as you travel it.

Lets think of it biologically shall we. A man and a woman are different only biologically. Lets look at our birth cert. Do we say. Ok you behave in this way therefore you are a man? Or ok you behave this way so your a woman?

I think that the above posts about men does not apply only to men. But women as well. It is a way of good conduct for all humans. And by humans I am counting the females.

I'd say A few things, but I don't think I'm entitled

[flashbacks] Look at what you did Gabe! You always f*** up!..... You abandoned us, you took the money and ran away.... [/flashbacks]

Awful memories...

His bank account ??

A man that works and takes care of his family...and loves his family.

Who wants to be a man? I'd rather be a boy.

You don't have to be perfect to be a man. Men are entitled to mistakes, the same as anyone else. But a man takes direct responsibility without pointing the finger, or making excuses. A man lives with honesty and honor in his heart. I agree that there is a lot of pressure on men to be strong in all things, but we should also realize that we can't be strong in everything. We have good days as well as bad ones, but we should still hold our heads up. Also, always remember to be humble, even men are only half of a whole.

It's a hard question, and something that means many things to many people - hence the myriad of answers.

The simplest answer I have is one my dad told me one time after I was ranting about how so many people want free rides in life.

As my dad put it - a man understands that everything worthwhile in life takes a lot of work. I agree with that.

One more thing I'd like to point out. Don't try to be like some other man, even one you look up to. You don't need to be John Wayne, or whatever. Be your own man, your own way.

what makes a man is the same as what makes a woman. everything else is cosmetic.

* Share everything.
* Play fair.
* Don't hit people.
* Put things back where you found them.
* Clean up your own mess.
* Don't take things that aren't yours.
* Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
* Wash your hands before you eat.
* Flush.
* Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
* Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
* Take a nap every afternoon.
* When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
* Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
* Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
* And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.


[Source: "ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN" by Robert Fulghum.

I think if you pretty much follow the above you end up with a pretty good person.

i think one of the biggest things,is being able to learn from your mistakes..and taking the time to pass that knowledge on when you get older..

I agree, nice post

Thanks for posting that Lt......It's soooo true....

People please... I think we all know what makes a man a real man-



There rest is academia, in fact, really I shouldn't even know how to spell that word.
There it's academa...

This is a difficult subject to answer to. What one person thinks makes a man is totally different to what another person thinks.

Like us women, men change throughout their lives and I think that along with circumstances we all need to be able to adapt in order to get through life as best we can.

For me, I perfection is a myth, no one is perfect. The person who can admit their mistakes and learn from them. Accept that some things in life we just can't change and thats OK. That male or female we all need a helping hand every now and then.

That feelings are OK to be talked about, no matter what your gender is. Show me a woman who has seen a man show genuine emotion who doesn't look up to him and respect him for being open and honest.

I suppose, for me, anyone who is willing to not conform to the old fashioned stereo types and just be themselves is a winner for me, whether you're a friend or a lover.

So its nothing to do with being a man...its all about being human.