The CIA is secretly developing a new anti-terror weapon that will halt the Taliban and Alkie Ida in their tracks. 5 years ago, several detainees at Guantanamo Bay detention camp were found dead in their adjoining cells, rigor mortis having preserved the rictal grimace on their faces, and their innards spilled over the floor of their cells. Months of analysis later, the investigators charged with the case came to this startling conclusion: they had all died laughing. One of the prisoners had told a joke so funny, that all who heard it quite literally died by splitting their sides wide open.
The race was on to discover what the joke was, so that it could be reverse engineered and used as a weapon against terror. Given the deadly nature of the subject matter, several quangos were set up to research different parts of the joke, lest someone should stumble upon the whole joke and inadvertently kill themselves laughing. Progess was slow, probably due to the mistake of giving the task of researching the punchline to some scientists from NASA who came from war-torn Germany via Operation Paperclip (Germans not being renowned for their sense of humour). Once this task was handed over to a group of Jews from New Jersey, progress was much more swift.
Eventually a proto-type of the world's funniest joke was created piecemeal by these secret government think-tanks. Each section was carefully translated into Arabic, and the completed joke sent out to front-line troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Special Forces are now using the joke to flush Osama out of his cave hideout, by playing the joke (in Arabic of course) through ghetto blasters into the depths of various cave networks in Afghanistan. Dozens of terrorist cells are thought to have been eliminated already, although there was a friendly fire incident when a group of sheep-herders overheard part of the joke, rendering them helpless for 48 hours as the sheep ran amok.
Fears are growing that the US could use this as the ultimate WOMD. Rumour has it that the joke is curently being translated into Chinese, although this may not prove effective as it includes a subtle play on words that doesn't translate well, as there isn't a Chinese word for "artichoke".
Full Version: US developing new anti-terror weapon
Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums > News, Media & World Events > Conspiracies & Secret Societies
QUOTE (postbaguk @ Jun 5 2008, 06:13 PM) 
The CIA is secretly developing a new anti-terror weapon that will halt the Taliban and Alkie Ida in their tracks. 5 years ago, several detainees at Guantanamo Bay detention camp were found dead in their adjoining cells, rigor mortis having preserved the rictal grimace on their faces, and their innards spilled over the floor of their cells. Months of analysis later, the investigators charged with the case came to this startling conclusion: they had all died laughing. One of the prisoners had told a joke so funny, that all who heard it quite literally died by splitting their sides wide open.
The race was on to discover what the joke was, so that it could be reverse engineered and used as a weapon against terror. Given the deadly nature of the subject matter, several quangos were set up to research different parts of the joke, lest someone should stumble upon the whole joke and inadvertently kill themselves laughing. Progess was slow, probably due to the mistake of giving the task of researching the punchline to some scientists from NASA who came from war-torn Germany via Operation Paperclip (Germans not being renowned for their sense of humour). Once this task was handed over to a group of Jews from New Jersey, progress was much more swift.
Eventually a proto-type of the world's funniest joke was created piecemeal by these secret government think-tanks. Each section was carefully translated into Arabic, and the completed joke sent out to front-line troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Special Forces are now using the joke to flush Osama out of his cave hideout, by playing the joke (in Arabic of course) through ghetto blasters into the depths of various cave networks in Afghanistan. Dozens of terrorist cells are thought to have been eliminated already, although there was a friendly fire incident when a group of sheep-herders overheard part of the joke, rendering them helpless for 48 hours as the sheep ran amok.
Fears are growing that the US could use this as the ultimate WOMD. Rumour has it that the joke is curently being translated into Chinese, although this may not prove effective as it includes a subtle play on words that doesn't translate well, as there isn't a Chinese word for "artichoke".
The race was on to discover what the joke was, so that it could be reverse engineered and used as a weapon against terror. Given the deadly nature of the subject matter, several quangos were set up to research different parts of the joke, lest someone should stumble upon the whole joke and inadvertently kill themselves laughing. Progess was slow, probably due to the mistake of giving the task of researching the punchline to some scientists from NASA who came from war-torn Germany via Operation Paperclip (Germans not being renowned for their sense of humour). Once this task was handed over to a group of Jews from New Jersey, progress was much more swift.
Eventually a proto-type of the world's funniest joke was created piecemeal by these secret government think-tanks. Each section was carefully translated into Arabic, and the completed joke sent out to front-line troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Special Forces are now using the joke to flush Osama out of his cave hideout, by playing the joke (in Arabic of course) through ghetto blasters into the depths of various cave networks in Afghanistan. Dozens of terrorist cells are thought to have been eliminated already, although there was a friendly fire incident when a group of sheep-herders overheard part of the joke, rendering them helpless for 48 hours as the sheep ran amok.
Fears are growing that the US could use this as the ultimate WOMD. Rumour has it that the joke is curently being translated into Chinese, although this may not prove effective as it includes a subtle play on words that doesn't translate well, as there isn't a Chinese word for "artichoke".
LOL. I heard the British developed this weapon in WW2.
QUOTE (Plainbob13 @ Jun 6 2008, 12:41 AM)
LOL. I heard the British developed this weapon in WW2.
An homage dear boy, to RR. Well spotted
QUOTE (postbaguk @ Jun 5 2008, 06:49 PM)
An homage dear boy, to RR. Well spotted
Gotta love Monty Python!
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