Now look, I don't necessarily believe all these to be true, but can certainly find humor in the entire lot.
22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
THIS IS NOT SO HARD -- EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT....
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say 'Merry Christmas.'
Full Version: 22 Ways To Be A Good Dem
For good measure and fair play! 
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.";
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.";
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.
This is why I hate laundry lists.
QUOTE (Incorrigible1 @ Jun 12 2008, 09:37 AM) 
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
Wait, when did a conservative politician ever tell the truth?
It's no wonder I vote third party now.
QUOTE (randym23 @ Jun 12 2008, 11:14 AM)
For good measure and fair play!
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.";
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.";
10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.
And you have to believe that George W. Bush is an honest, intelligent, articulate president who was misled by underlings in the intelligence community about Iraq . . . . however, the WMDs really do exist.
QUOTE (Incorrigible1 @ Jun 12 2008, 05:37 AM)
Now look, I don't necessarily believe all these to be true, but can certainly find humor in the entire lot.
22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
THIS IS NOT SO HARD -- EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT....
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say 'Merry Christmas.'
22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
THIS IS NOT SO HARD -- EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT....
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say 'Merry Christmas.'
That's not bad!
It does appear, however, that the truth hurts some folks...
QUOTE (MID @ Jun 12 2008, 10:47 PM)
That's not bad!
It does appear, however, that the truth hurts some folks...
It does appear, however, that the truth hurts some folks...
Not really, but we will make a deal with conservatives . . . .
If they will stop telling lies about liberals, we will stop telling the truth about them.
QUOTE
Not really, but we will make a deal with conservatives . . . .
If they will stop telling lies about liberals, we will stop telling the truth about them.
If they will stop telling lies about liberals, we will stop telling the truth about them.
Truth?
Yea...I got it. Lies about liberals...truth about conservatives.
Sure.
Like the "fair play" list wasn't a weak, and often irrelevant , and at other times false (and thus common) left wing attempt to counter the common sense and all too often illustrated characteristics of the left wing illustrated in somewhat humorous fashion by the OP.
Yea...you've got something to stand on there...
For instance, the OP said:
QUOTE
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
Succinct, and to the point, and illustrated almost every day by our highly approved of Congress, and by the utterly naive Obama.
I am sure you could counter this "lie" about liberals...
Perhaps this is a counter???
QUOTE
4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
Jesus.
Utterly amazing, and weak.
Yea that's a truth...
Explaining how conservatives believe AIDS victims deserve their disease should be daunting...and I am certain I know where you'll go with this. You're going to mention Reagan, right? And that erroneous and completely false image of him put forth by the un-approved and erroneous left wing network television special about The Reagans that aired some time ago.
Better research the matter before you attempt to tell the "truth" about that.
Hint: AIDS research was something Reagan initiated, and spent 6 billion dollars on...BEFORE the disease was understood!
Sure, you go ahead, by all means tell the "truth" about conservatives...
QUOTE (MID @ Jun 12 2008, 11:33 PM)
Truth?
Yea...I got it. Lies about liberals...truth about conservatives.
Sure.
Like the "fair play" list wasn't a weak, and often irrelevant , and at other times false (and thus common) left wing attempt to counter the common sense and all too often illustrated characteristics of the left wing illustrated in somewhat humorous fashion by the OP.
Yea...you've got something to stand on there...
For instance, the OP said:
Succinct, and to the point, and illustrated almost every day by our highly approved of Congress, and by the utterly naive Obama.
I am sure you could counter this "lie" about liberals...
Perhaps this is a counter???
Jesus.
Utterly amazing, and weak.
Yea that's a truth...
Explaining how conservatives believe AIDS victims deserve their disease should be daunting...and I am certain I know where you'll go with this. You're going to mention Reagan, right? And that erroneous and completely false image of him put forth by the un-approved and erroneous left wing network television special about The Reagans that aired some time ago.
Better research the matter before you attempt to tell the "truth" about that.
Hint: AIDS research was something Reagan initiated, and spent 6 billion dollars on...BEFORE the disease was understood!
Sure, you go ahead, by all means tell the "truth" about conservatives...
Yea...I got it. Lies about liberals...truth about conservatives.
Sure.
Like the "fair play" list wasn't a weak, and often irrelevant , and at other times false (and thus common) left wing attempt to counter the common sense and all too often illustrated characteristics of the left wing illustrated in somewhat humorous fashion by the OP.
Yea...you've got something to stand on there...
For instance, the OP said:
Succinct, and to the point, and illustrated almost every day by our highly approved of Congress, and by the utterly naive Obama.
I am sure you could counter this "lie" about liberals...
Perhaps this is a counter???
Jesus.
Utterly amazing, and weak.
Yea that's a truth...
Explaining how conservatives believe AIDS victims deserve their disease should be daunting...and I am certain I know where you'll go with this. You're going to mention Reagan, right? And that erroneous and completely false image of him put forth by the un-approved and erroneous left wing network television special about The Reagans that aired some time ago.
Better research the matter before you attempt to tell the "truth" about that.
Hint: AIDS research was something Reagan initiated, and spent 6 billion dollars on...BEFORE the disease was understood!
Sure, you go ahead, by all means tell the "truth" about conservatives...
Liberals would not pretend to know. Ask Georgie . . . . he has that hotline to God, remember?
Good one there ^^ Expatriate... yes, Georgie apparently does have that hotline number to God. How special is that? LOL
Interesting funny list there (har har) ... curious, but who created this DEM list?
It sort of reminds me of this interesting funny video called HOW TO SPEAK REPUBLICAN
Interesting funny list there (har har) ... curious, but who created this DEM list?
It sort of reminds me of this interesting funny video called HOW TO SPEAK REPUBLICAN
QUOTE (Expatriate @ Jun 12 2008, 07:07 PM)
Liberals would not pretend to know. Ask Georgie . . . . he has that hotline to God, remember?
I see you decline to answer the question...which I rather expected.
Tell me the truth about conservatives...?
(p.s., "Georgie" is NOT one of them).
Typical.
p.s.s.
Liberals don't pretend to know...because they don't know.
QUOTE (MID @ Jun 13 2008, 01:15 AM)
I see you decline to answer the question...which I rather expected.
Tell me the truth about conservatives...?
(p.s., "Georgie" is NOT one of them).
Typical.
p.s.s.
Liberals don't pretend to know...because they don't know.
Tell me the truth about conservatives...?
(p.s., "Georgie" is NOT one of them).
Typical.
p.s.s.
Liberals don't pretend to know...because they don't know.
Forgive me, the whole world knows that Georgie and the truth cannot be mentioned together. I apologize.
The truth about conservatives is best not expressed in words. It has been told in chapters of human misery written by their deceptions and disregard for human life.
Ask about the conservative U.S. government to the people of El Mozote, San Salvador.
Ask about the conservative U.S. government to the people of Chile who watched the CIA install Pinochet as president.
Ask about the conservative U.S. government to the people of Guatemala who watched the CIA overthrow their democratically elected president, Jacobo Arbenz Guzmán.
Ask about the conservative U.S. government to the people of Panama who watched U.S. forces remove their president without permitting the citizens of that nation to resolve the problem in a democratic form.
Ask about the conservative U.S. government to the people of Iraq and Afghanistan who were invaded under the guise of a war against terror even though neither nation had participated in 9/11.
Ask about the conservative U.S. government that removed 8,000 pages from Iraq's weapons report before it was received by most members of the U.N.
And the list could go on for decades more but conservatives will turn a blind eye to these transgressions that brought death and suffering to countless thousands. They are the one who will talk about "removing dictators" while never having the courage or knowledge to recognize that conservatives installed more dictators than it ever removed.
The conservative is an elitist. His source of news is specialized and designed for his particular political dogma by the good people at Fox. He holds Limbaugh in special esteem. Any newspaper owned by Murdoch tells the truth. He is the one who replies to arguments with curt little one-liners but never offers documentation or evidences. His word represents the truth and that is supposed to be sufficient.
Finally, the conservative is the one who makes all this writing useless. His denials roll off his lips with the ease of a Bush lie. His argument is to counter attack, not prove or present something that pretends to be logical. He blames the Democrats in Congress for believing Bush's lies and voting to extend war powers to a president history had taught them that they could trust. He resorts to his terse jibes and the retreats into the sanctity of his fantasy world where the world is a better place because George Bush decided to kill 150,000 innocents in Iraq and remove the horrible dictator that his father had armed and trained.
I think you missed it, Ex..
It's tough when you left wing emotions run over the top of the cup, and flood the page with a bunch of mis-interpretations.
Georgie's not a conservative.
We haven't had a conservative government since about 1988...
We need one, badly.
It's tough when you left wing emotions run over the top of the cup, and flood the page with a bunch of mis-interpretations.
Georgie's not a conservative.
We haven't had a conservative government since about 1988...
We need one, badly.
*snickers*
QUOTE (Incorrigible1 @ Jun 12 2008, 09:37 AM)
Now look, I don't necessarily believe all these to be true, but can certainly find humor in the entire lot.
response: "Why I'm Voting Republican"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FiQJ9Xp0xxU
QUOTE (MID @ Jun 14 2008, 04:33 PM)
I think you missed it, Ex..
It's tough when you left wing emotions run over the top of the cup, and flood the page with a bunch of mis-interpretations.
Georgie's not a conservative.
We haven't had a conservative government since about 1988...
We need one, badly.
It's tough when you left wing emotions run over the top of the cup, and flood the page with a bunch of mis-interpretations.
Georgie's not a conservative.
We haven't had a conservative government since about 1988...
We need one, badly.
Well, when he ran for Governor of Texas he described himself as a conservative and, of course, I always believe Bush.
And yes, I remember that conservative government of 1988 . . . . it was hallmarked by names like Clair George, Thomas Demery, Joseph A. Strauss, Rita Lavelle, Deborah Gore Dean, Michael Deaver, Elliott Abrams, Robert C. McFarlane, Philip Winn, Lyn Nofziger, Alan D. Fiers, James G. Watt . . . . . the administration with the most indictments and convictions in history.
But to conservatives, those were simply "the good ole days" and we need another one, badly.
Interesting... I thought there was only one rule for being a good Democrat or Republican:1. You must surrender any individual beliefs you have in favor of a set list of positions and ruthlessly attack anyone who feels differently.
Don't even get me started on conservatives and liberals...
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