Dear Phantom ,
I have a friend , usually the quiet and reserved type, hardly ever flirtatious and allways helpfull . And allthough he looks stunning in a pair of wooden shoes , I fear he may well of unwittingly released some kind of uncontrollable monster .
Full Version: Dear Phantom
| QUOTE (Kismit @ Feb 29 2004, 11:16 PM) |
| I fear he may well of unwittingly released some kind of uncontrollable monster . |
Trouzers snakes can be dangerous. A female Herpetologist will know that to do.
I've yet to meet a trouser snake I didn't like. Hmmmmm...
Dear Phantom? Is this normal?
Dear Phantom? Is this normal?
| QUOTE (Xenojjin @ Feb 29 2004, 11:21 PM) |
| Dear phantom It seems for some reason when I tap two normal sticks together , My mind enters a differant realm and allows me to create my own universes . I need help deciding whether or not I have contacted the veil and have broken the wall ... or do I need to be put in a very tight jacket with long sleeves ? |
Dear Xeno,
My suggestion would be to take the electrical current of those sticks. That should do the trick. The tight jacket with the long sleeves would be a good idea, if only to keep yourself from sticking a fork into a wallsocket.
| QUOTE (soulfire78 @ Feb 29 2004, 11:58 PM) |
| Dear Phantom, Ok, so I got alittle carried away the other night when I found my mother out with my ex. I wished them both away into nothingness, and they actually disappeared. Only problem being that I have no idea where the old bat hid the will. Any guidance on how to cantact her? Many thanks, SF78 |
Turn the spycam on again? Good luck!
| QUOTE (babyforrest @ Mar 1 2004, 12:06 AM) |
| Deer Fantom, my dog has toy n it squeeks and its very anoyying she keeps gettin it even affer i take away from her i take it n i put it on the shelf and i hear it squuekin again when she finds it and i don't know what is happenin an i am scared cause of the squeeken when i take it from her an she gets it again n i don't know how it is happenin when i take it from her and she gets it again how is she getting it again after i take it from her what should i do |
My suggestion would be to leave the squeeky toy on the ground and put the dog on the topshelf.
| QUOTE (thistle1 @ Mar 1 2004, 12:35 AM) |
| Dear Phantom Somebody recently told me that I was visiting their dreams and doing naughty things. I am sure it wasn't me because I am a Lady and wouldn't dream of invading somebody's dreams like that and I don't remember doing it either. Was I having an OOBE ? Sincerely thistle P.S Should it happen again, how would I go about making sure I remember it ?  |
Yes dear Thistle, you might have been having an OOBE. Did you accept a drink from a certain marine mammal? There have been other accounts of that.
How to remember them next time? I'm not sure you'll want to. Previous accounts told of some nasty things going on with a plumber, paper coasters and pickled herring.
| QUOTE (thepsychoticseaotter @ Mar 1 2004, 12:59 AM) |
| Dear Pahntom, The other night Thistle invaded my dream and did some really cool naughty stuff with me. However, as much as I liked it I am now in a moral dilemma as I wonder if this is considered cheating on my wife. Also in the dream she promised to come back and do it again. Should i go with it or block her from my dreams?  |
Dear Syko,
You should definately block her from entering your dreams again. This is considered cheating in Phantom's book. Not only on your wife, but on babyforrest too. You should be very, very ashamed of yourself.
Now go stand in the corner.
| QUOTE (Kismit @ Mar 1 2004, 01:16 AM) |
| Dear Phantom , I have a friend , usually the quiet and reserved type, hardly ever flirtatious and allways helpfull . And allthough he looks stunning in a pair of wooden shoes , I fear he may well of unwittingly released some kind of uncontrollable monster . |
Yes, he might have. The monster doesn't bite, though. *)
*) hard.
| QUOTE (Nancy @ Mar 1 2004, 11:50 AM) |
| I've yet to meet a trouser snake I didn't like. Hmmmmm... Dear Phantom? Is this normal? |
Well, less normal than your dog licking McGinty's dog, but still pretty normal.
dear phantom
after removing the sticks my hands have strangely turned into mushrooms . Could this be a sign that mole people underground who have advanced technology are trying to contact me ?
after removing the sticks my hands have strangely turned into mushrooms . Could this be a sign that mole people underground who have advanced technology are trying to contact me ?
Sounds like Mary-Jane talkin to you.
Dear Phantom,
I'm bored, what can I do to spice up my day
I'm bored, what can I do to spice up my day
Dear Phantom,
I have 2 budgies. They chirp constantly. They have even been known to chirp in their sleep. Chirp chirp chirp squack chirp chirp. That's all I ever hear. I am even beginning to hear it when I am not at home. What should I do?
I have 2 budgies. They chirp constantly. They have even been known to chirp in their sleep. Chirp chirp chirp squack chirp chirp. That's all I ever hear. I am even beginning to hear it when I am not at home. What should I do?
Sry for stepping on your toes Phantom, but if I had budgies like that Baby they would quickly become outside budgies 
| QUOTE |
| Mr. Otter? My my my........ "One" never knows who is really on the other side of your monitor, hmmm??? |
Nancy, I think I'm in lust
| QUOTE |
| You should definately block her from entering your dreams again. This is considered cheating in Phantom's book. Not only on your wife, but on babyforrest too. You should be very, very ashamed of yourself. Now go stand in the corner. |
Considering I just told Nancy I was in lust with her I think I may have a problem. Sooooo....
Dear Phantom,
It seems that this marine mammel may be addicted to sex. It seems that I basically want to....um...."get to know"
...85% of the women I meet or see. Is this normal for one so far out of his teenage years or do I have a problem?| QUOTE |
| It seems that this marine mammel may be addicted to sex. It seems that I basically want to....um...."get to know" ...85% of the women I meet or see. Is this normal for one so far out of his teenage years or do I have a problem? |
that sounds like 99% of the male population
| QUOTE (Phantom @ Mar 1 2004, 06:13 PM) |
Yes dear Thistle, you might have been having an OOBE. Did you accept a drink from a certain marine mammal? There have been other accounts of that. How to remember them next time? I'm not sure you'll want to. Previous accounts told of some nasty things going on with a plumber, paper coasters and pickled herring. |
Dear Phantom,
Thankyou for confirming my suspicions. Having tried very hard for at least 10 minutes last night, I managed to invade Syko's mind ( in a very controlled fashion ) ..........but he wasn't there
. I did howver notice a large amount of clutter, namely fish bones and plumbing equipment so before I came home I cleaned up a little. Was this a good thing to do ? Sincerely thistle
Dear Phantom,
If I start making posts on every topic non-stop until I have the highest post count in the forum .... will I automatically become a Moderator?
Do you think a thread topic entitled: If You Had a Rocket Launcher, Who Would You Make Pay? be a good way for me to win friends and influence people?
joc
If I start making posts on every topic non-stop until I have the highest post count in the forum .... will I automatically become a Moderator?
Do you think a thread topic entitled: If You Had a Rocket Launcher, Who Would You Make Pay? be a good way for me to win friends and influence people?
joc
| QUOTE (Xenojjin @ Mar 1 2004, 09:32 PM) |
| dear phantom after removing the sticks my hands have strangely turned into mushrooms . Could this be a sign that mole people underground who have advanced technology are trying to contact me ? |
Yes, go get them, tiger.
| QUOTE (doomgirl @ Mar 1 2004, 11:47 PM) |
| Dear Phantom, I'm bored, what can I do to spice up my day |
You could get naked, paint yourself purple and run through the streets shouting: "I'm an orange seagull! I'm an orange seagull!"
Or do a crossword or something...
| QUOTE (babyforrest @ Mar 2 2004, 01:33 AM) |
| Dear Phantom, I have 2 budgies. They chirp constantly. They have even been known to chirp in their sleep. Chirp chirp chirp squack chirp chirp. That's all I ever hear. I am even beginning to hear it when I am not at home. What should I do? |
You should record it, play it backwards slowly, find the satanic messages and then throw them into a woodchipper. That should teach those evil disciples of Lucifer.
| QUOTE (Phantom @ Mar 2 2004, 08:14 PM) | ||
You could get naked, paint yourself purple and run through the streets shouting: "I'm an orange seagull! I'm an orange seagull!" |
i, for one, would like to witness that. it would spice up my day as well. although 'im a purple seagull' would be more appropriate.
| QUOTE (thepsychoticseaotter @ Mar 2 2004, 02:53 AM) |
| Dear Phantom, It seems that this marine mammel may be addicted to sex. It seems that I basically want to....um...."get to know" ...85% of the women I meet or see. Is this normal for one so far out of his teenage years or do I have a problem? |
A problem? Nothing surgery won't be able to fix. About wanting to get to "know" 85% of the women you meet. Think about the other 15% next time you feel "the urge" *)
*) Examples would be Rosie O'Donell, Barbara Bush and that smelly baglady at the corner of the street...
| QUOTE (thistle1 @ Mar 2 2004, 12:16 PM) |
| Dear Phantom, Thankyou for confirming my suspicions. Having tried very hard for at least 10 minutes last night, I managed to invade Syko's mind ( in a very controlled fashion ) ..........but he wasn't there . I did howver notice a large amount of clutter, namely fish bones and plumbing equipment so before I came home I cleaned up a little. Was this a good thing to do ? Sincerely thistle |
You actually touched the clutter? Consider yourself marked. You won't ever be able to get that fish smell from your hands. He'll be able to find you everywhere now. Good job, Thistle! *)
*) not!
| QUOTE (joc @ Mar 2 2004, 12:33 PM) |
| Dear Phantom, If I start making posts on every topic non-stop until I have the highest post count in the forum .... will I automatically become a Moderator? |
Yes, that is the best way to work your ways "up" to becoming a moderator. Nothing is more appreciated than people posting smilies and one worded replies to up their postcount.
Remember, it's quantity, not quality that matters most.| QUOTE |
Do you think a thread topic entitled: If You Had a Rocket Launcher, Who Would You Make Pay? be a good way for me to win friends and influence people? joc |
Actually, that is the best idea for a thread I heard in seconds.
| QUOTE |
| Phantom Posted: Mar 3 2004, 07:14 AM You could get naked, paint yourself purple and run through the streets shouting: "I'm an orange seagull! I'm an orange seagull!" Or do a crossword or something... |
If I did that then I'm sure they would lock me up this time and throw away the key
| QUOTE |
| ..........but he wasn't there |
Sorry Thistle I was out visiting Orange Blossom....
| QUOTE |
| I did howver notice a large amount of clutter, namely fish bones and plumbing equipment so before I came home I cleaned up a little. |
Ummm I hate fish....Oh I know it was the plumbers lunch probably...I hired him to fix that pipe that connects the two brains....
| QUOTE |
| You actually touched the clutter? Consider yourself marked. You won't ever be able to get that fish smell from your hands. He'll be able to find you everywhere now. Good job, Thistle! |
Plus the pherimones hidden in the junk will make me irresistable to her...
| QUOTE (thepsychoticseaotter @ Mar 3 2004, 12:02 AM) |
| Sorry Thistle I was out visiting Orange Blossom.... |
Thought she had a smile on her face tonight
| QUOTE (thistle1 @ Mar 2 2004, 06:28 PM) | ||
Thought she had a smile on her face tonight |
Dear Phantom,
My spirit guide " Hildegarde " has left me to go and live in Corfu with " Sam " from Most Haunted. Does this mean that MY mind now be easy to invade ? What should I do ?
Sincerely thistle
Ummmm ok I'll stop now
My spirit guide " Hildegarde " has left me to go and live in Corfu with " Sam " from Most Haunted. Does this mean that MY mind now be easy to invade ? What should I do ?
Sincerely thistle
Ummmm ok I'll stop now
Dear Phantom,
I find joc's habbit of turning any thread into a relgious/political debate very annoying.Is there any way you can make him stop it by using your powerful mind-control device? (everyone knows you have one)
Sincerely, Cercea
I find joc's habbit of turning any thread into a relgious/political debate very annoying.Is there any way you can make him stop it by using your powerful mind-control device? (everyone knows you have one)
Sincerely, Cercea
| QUOTE (thepsychoticseaotter @ Mar 1 2004, 08:53 PM) | ||
Nancy, I think I'm in lust |
Mr. Otter? "Lust" should be one of the Seven Wonders of The World
It is also a cure for high cholesterol as it increases circulation.....
You have made this old blonde smile, from "here" to "there"...... TY!
Dear Phantom:
Is it fair for Members to pick on other Members? Shouldn't nasty comments be reserved for PM's?
(joc? I still luv ya........)
***this is almost as much fun as The Flirting Thread!!***
Is it fair for Members to pick on other Members? Shouldn't nasty comments be reserved for PM's?
(joc? I still luv ya........)
***this is almost as much fun as The Flirting Thread!!***
| QUOTE (Nancy @ Mar 2 2004, 06:14 PM) |
| Is it fair for Members to pick on other Members? |
Never pick on another member without suitable protection. Safety first! You never know what you might catch!
Dear Phantom,
If God were a politician would he be on the Right or the Left or would he be a fence-sitting moderate?
joc
If God were a politician would he be on the Right or the Left or would he be a fence-sitting moderate?
joc
| QUOTE |
| Is it fair for Members to pick on other Members? Shouldn't nasty comments be reserved for PM's? |
It was just a joke, sorry.
Dear Phantom,
I posted an useless thread in the General-off topic discussion that everybody denied answering! Moreover Andy doesn't want to go out with me...
Should I hang myself ?
I posted an useless thread in the General-off topic discussion that everybody denied answering! Moreover Andy doesn't want to go out with me...
Should I hang myself
?
| QUOTE (doomgirl @ Mar 2 2004, 09:52 PM) | ||
If I did that then I'm sure they would lock me up this time and throw away the key |
This time? so you'we done it beafure?
| QUOTE (Cercea @ Mar 3 2004, 03:05 AM) |
| Dear Phantom, I find joc's habbit of turning any thread into a relgious/political debate very annoying.Is there any way you can make him stop it by using your powerful mind-control device? (everyone knows you have one) Sincerely, Cercea |
Dear Cercea,
Mind control is like hypnosis. You have to have an open mind to be influenced by it. Not to judge, but I haven't gotten through to joc's just yet.
I will keep trying though.
Sincerely,
Phantom
| QUOTE (Nancy @ Mar 3 2004, 03:14 AM) |
| Dear Phantom: Is it fair for Members to pick on other Members? Shouldn't nasty comments be reserved for PM's? (joc? I still luv ya........) ***this is almost as much fun as The Flirting Thread!!*** |
Nancy, you are correct. Picking on other members, as well as playing games of the (virtual) carnal kind should be done by means of PM's or in private (chat)rooms.
| QUOTE (joc @ Mar 3 2004, 04:23 AM) |
| Dear Phantom, If God were a politician would he be on the Right or the Left or would he be a fence-sitting moderate? joc |
Dear joc,
Yes.
Phantom
| QUOTE (Ronin6th @ Mar 3 2004, 01:40 PM) |
| Dear Phantom, I posted an useless thread in the General-off topic discussion that everybody denied answering! Moreover Andy doesn't want to go out with me... Should I hang myself ? |
Ofcourse you shouldn't hang yourself. People will love your thread. You go back in that thread mister and BOUNCE it up the lists by DEMANDING people to reply to it. If you keep doing this every other day I am sure you'll get a reply in the end.
About Andy. You should flood him with PM's with lots of
's , 's and 's. If you stalk him long enough he'll eventually give in.Remember: restraining orders are just another way of saying : "I love you".
dear phantom, i do magic, juggle and am learning to ride a unicycle (no really, i am)
am i a freak!? uhm...i mean
am i a freak!?
uhm...i mean
| QUOTE (Phantom @ Mar 3 2004, 01:06 PM) |
| Nancy, you are correct. Picking on other members, as well as playing games of the (virtual) carnal kind should be done by means of PM's or in private (chat)rooms. |
Dear Phantom,
Thank you for such wisdom!
Your reply points towards something called "cybering" at least here in the good 'ole USA.
Are there any rules, guidelines or proven success stories?
The last time that activity was attempted, I suggested a 'splash guard' to cover what's his name's keyboard. Never heard from that fellow again.
Where did I go wrong?
Dear Phantom.
I am The True Emperor of the World. Choosen by the 13 Elders of Helfier when the world was yet being formed. How do I convince other people of that? Should I send everyone in the world 25 emails? Would that do it?
Mahiro Kirule.
I am The True Emperor of the World. Choosen by the 13 Elders of Helfier when the world was yet being formed. How do I convince other people of that? Should I send everyone in the world 25 emails? Would that do it?
Mahiro Kirule.
| QUOTE (Nancy @ Mar 3 2004, 05:59 PM) |
| Where did I go wrong? |
I don't think you went wrong. However in my experience Cybering is fun and helps to get rid of tension. Although not a substitue for sex in it's own way it can be a wonderful thing.
Just keep trying.
Dear Phantom,
In my Dungeons and Dragons game I am playing a 3rd level Tiefling whose class is Fighter. His Alignment is Lawful-Neutral. I have thought that at 4th level I would Multi-Class him as A Cleric of the Red Knight. But since the Tiefling race carries a +1 level adjustment I am hesitant to do so since he technically would only top out at 19 levels instead of the standard 20 (unless I use epic rules).
What should I do. The fighter class has not worked well for him as he is usually the first to drop in a fight so I though beefing him up with some spells would help.
Also My Wife wants to have another baby and she wants it to be a boy. Since I historically only produce Girls I fear that this may lead to more kids than I can handle. Also I am hesitant to do so since I have been seriously thinking of "disconnecting the plumbing".
And finally, My daughter keeps wanting to watch the Care Bears movie and I am ready to perform Genocide on the stupid Bears as a whole...How do I get her away from the vile fuzzballs....
Sincerly,
Syko
In my Dungeons and Dragons game I am playing a 3rd level Tiefling whose class is Fighter. His Alignment is Lawful-Neutral. I have thought that at 4th level I would Multi-Class him as A Cleric of the Red Knight. But since the Tiefling race carries a +1 level adjustment I am hesitant to do so since he technically would only top out at 19 levels instead of the standard 20 (unless I use epic rules).
What should I do. The fighter class has not worked well for him as he is usually the first to drop in a fight so I though beefing him up with some spells would help.
Also My Wife wants to have another baby and she wants it to be a boy. Since I historically only produce Girls I fear that this may lead to more kids than I can handle. Also I am hesitant to do so since I have been seriously thinking of "disconnecting the plumbing".
And finally, My daughter keeps wanting to watch the Care Bears movie and I am ready to perform Genocide on the stupid Bears as a whole...How do I get her away from the vile fuzzballs....
Sincerly,
Syko
dear mr phantom
there is a sasquatch living inmy swamps. the problem is, its private property and hes there illegally. should i:
1 call me lawyer and get that sasquatch fined
2 call my freind who had a similar problem wiht a mothman in his chimney
3 go talk to the sasquatch he may not know this is private property
4 get a rocker launcher and blow taht thicket hes living in off the face of the earth
5 set up a deer stand ive never tasted sasquatch
6 rent the land to him
there is a sasquatch living inmy swamps. the problem is, its private property and hes there illegally. should i:
1 call me lawyer and get that sasquatch fined
2 call my freind who had a similar problem wiht a mothman in his chimney
3 go talk to the sasquatch he may not know this is private property
4 get a rocker launcher and blow taht thicket hes living in off the face of the earth
5 set up a deer stand ive never tasted sasquatch
6 rent the land to him
Dear Phantom,
Should I tell my family that I am involved in a secret war that is fighting against Vril, MKUltra, iluminati, government psiop's and preditory aliens? My parent's think the devices I make are art, but they are actually Orgone weapons and healing tools. Should I tell them?
McGinty
These are some of the devices.
Should I tell my family that I am involved in a secret war that is fighting against Vril, MKUltra, iluminati, government psiop's and preditory aliens? My parent's think the devices I make are art, but they are actually Orgone weapons and healing tools. Should I tell them?
McGinty
These are some of the devices.
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