A'saalam Walekum,

Allah has given strict rules to girls to maintain their chastity by lowering their gaze, covering hair (according to islam hair gives temptation to opposite sex ),covering chest (the figure of breast should not be visible) , as well as covering face and whole structure .. the basic reason is not to attract the opposite sex.
There is a lot more refer quran...

Hair, Eyes,Lips,Eyebrows,Figure,... Are the attracting things in a female which is widely used by marketing techniques... Look around u see 90% of advertisement done by females , receptionist will be always female why ???

Well when such rules are given to save moral rules and society and avoid unwanted pregnancies which caused AIDS and may incurable diseases how can you expect allah has given permission for a girl freind ?


A male is not allowed to touch physically even his wife before marriage . How can you expect to have dating with girl freinds ?

ALLAH has assigned you with a wife to all the activities and desires in you according to sharia then why do u need girl friends , The more you keep chastity and faith in allah before marriage the more the beautifull your wife will be in all aspects...

You control your desires and abstain from sexual matters in this life , u will be awarded with Houris according to your deeds. Which are the extreme in beauty.

1. "In them will be (Maidens), chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or Jinn before them has touched," (55:56).
2."We have created (their Companions) of special creation. And made them virgin - pure (and undefiled), - Beloved (by nature), equal in age,- For the Companions of the Right Hand," (56:35-38)
3. "Verily for the Righteous there will be a fulfillment of (the heart's) desires; Gardens enclosed, and grapevines, And voluptuous women of equal age," (78:31-33).

I am sure u got the answer from inside your heart..


ALLAH AKBAR . . .

I think you answered your own question...I guess you can't have a girlfriend in Islam.

Well there are limitations u can have a friend maintaining u r chastity. And speaking mostly about islam and matters in islam .... The only thing seen in islam is Thoughts in You regarding her...

So you can date...minus all the physical stuff.

i did'nt say u can date , i just said u can have friendship . . .

what is the first thing which comes to mind when u see a girl ?

WOW
BEAUTIFUL
GORGEOUS
AMAZING
WHAT A GIRL

now tell me whats your intension regarding those words . . . how can u go on date ?

I don't know where you got this from"1. "In them will be (Maidens), chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or Jinn before them has touched," (55:56).
2."We have created (their Companions) of special creation. And made them virgin - pure (and undefiled), - Beloved (by nature), equal in age,- For the Companions of the Right Hand," (56:35-38)
3. "Verily for the Righteous there will be a fulfillment of (the heart's) desires; Gardens enclosed, and grapevines, And voluptuous women of equal age," (78:31-33)." and its not the Quran.


I am muslim and i know that i'm not going to get virgins in heaven because its heaven . This is heaven were talking about, you will have much more to do there and probably won't need sex. Who ever believes there going to get 40 virgins or any virgins in heaven just because they think it says so aren't, no one will.

- Snip -

Women have the choice to cover or not its not by force. The women that are made to cover( full covering) by there husbands cover.

Women are allowed to were casual clothes its there choice. You make it seem like women have no rights in Islam. - Snip -

Aren't marriages arranged in Islam by the parents?

I'm sure there must be muslims do have girlfriends or boyfriends. Seems like the OP is making one of those sweeping statements. Would be ideal as a writer for the tabloid newspapers.

I'm not a muslim,I'm Christian.However I don't think that Muslims go on dates like in the West,like in Europe and America. As far as I know
your parents pick who you will marry or see,and women may have very little choice in the matter. I also assume some female relative of the girl nvovled would accopmany the couple on a date,as a chaperon. In Spain in the old days, duenas (chaperons) often watched out for girls.
Back in the past in Europe, marriages where often arranged,especially amongst the noblitiy to acquire land and political alliances,and one was stuck with the man that you married.Though in Catholic countries one might try to seek sancutuary in a convent and become a nun to escape such a marriage.
The words above say a man is attracted to a woman in a sexual and even sometimes romantic way,it isn't always bad.But if you personally are attracted to a girl,treat her with respect,be kind to her,bring her flowers.Be truthful and honest,if things don't work out,tell her why,don't just suddenly dump her,and don't abuse her either by violence a woman is a person too,just like a man and deserves respect.
I believe in our bible,in the old testament in one of the books,a man gives advice to his son and there are good things said about marriage and women.

Salaam (Peace)

Very few marriages are arranged. The Muslims in my community are from many different countries, and there is not one arranged marriage. When it does happen, it is usually the result of pre-Islamic Tribal customs. In Islam, marriage must be a choice. Friendship is allowed, but a man and women who are not married and are not family members are not to be alone.

Those verses are from Holy Quran , u must be in misconception, i never said that women have no rights i just said should maintaining chastity to preserve society morals. In fact mothers feet are doors to heaven according to Islam now what's the gender of a mother i hope u know the answer .

Give me a simple answer on a road casually, whom would u watch a girl in a veil or a girl in mini skirt ask yourself ? which girl wants to attract here and who gets attracted and watches her ... ASK YOURSELF

Not all men are given houris its depends on your deeds in life. DON'T U GET BONUS WHEN U PERFORM WELL ON JOB , wont u get increment on job when u perform well . And i wont call u something like *****, i respect u in fact u may be any religion u r still human.

If u r well aware of Islamic concepts Mohammad SAW (PUBH) came as messenger when there was violence on women and the first thing he did is gave women their rights . . . THATS ISLAM

ALLAH AKBAR...

Read Holy Quran once...

Following are some rights, which Muslim women have! Just Some

1. The RIGHT and duty to acquire education.

2. The RIGHT to have her own independent property.

3. The RIGHT to work [job or business] to earn money, which she keeps it.

4. The RIGHT to equal reward for equal deed and/or work.

5. The RIGHT to express her opinion.

6. The RIGHT to argue and/or advocate her cause or opinion to be heard.

7. The RIGHT to vote since 1,421 years.

8. The RIGHT to provisions from her husband for all her needs and more.

9. The RIGHT to negotiate marriage terms of her choice.

10.The RIGHT to obtain divorce from her husband, even on the grounds that she simply don't like him. In Islaam divorce is suppose to be last resort.

11.The RIGHT to keep all her own money. [She is not responsible for maintenance of family].

12.The RIGHT to get sexual satisfaction from her husband.

13.The RIGHT to get custody of her children in case of divorce [unless she is unable to raise them for valid reasons]

14.The RIGHT to choose husband of her choice.

15.The RIGHT to refuse a proposed and/or arranged marriage.

16. The RIGHT to re-marry after divorce or after becoming widow.

EXEMPTIONS GIVEN TO WOMEN IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCE.

Women are exempt from:

a.. Fasting when they are pregnant or nursing or menstruating,
b.. Praying when menstruating or bleeding after childbirth,
c.. The obligation to attend congregational prayers in the mosque on Fridays.
d.. They are not obliged to take part as soldiers in the defense of Islam, although they are not forbidden to do so.
But under normal circumstances they are allowed to do all the things that men do.

- Even when they are menstruating, on special days, like the two Eid festivals, they are still allowed to come to the Eid prayers, and menstruating women can take part in most of the actions of the Hajj pilgrimage.

Islamic laws does not requires that women should confine themselves to household duties.

Muslim women have [and are as well] headed Islamic provinces [and states as well], like Arwa bint Ahmad, who served as governor of Yemen under the Fatimid Khalifahs in the late fifth and early sixth century.

Name any other religion, political theory, or philosophy which offers such a comprehensiveness to women by giving her total control of her life and affairs ??? NONE

Think on this!

ALLAH AKBAR . . .





Following are some rights, which Muslim women have! Just Some

1. The RIGHT and duty to acquire education.

2. The RIGHT to have her own independent property.

3. The RIGHT to work [job or business] to earn money, which she keeps it.

4. The RIGHT to equal reward for equal deed and/or work.

5. The RIGHT to express her opinion.

6. The RIGHT to argue and/or advocate her cause or opinion to be heard.

7. The RIGHT to vote since 1,421 years.

8. The RIGHT to provisions from her husband for all her needs and more.

9. The RIGHT to negotiate marriage terms of her choice.

10.The RIGHT to obtain divorce from her husband, even on the grounds that she simply don't like him. In Islaam divorce is suppose to be last resort.

11.The RIGHT to keep all her own money. [She is not responsible for maintenance of family].

12.The RIGHT to get sexual satisfaction from her husband.

13.The RIGHT to get custody of her children in case of divorce [unless she is unable to raise them for valid reasons]

14.The RIGHT to choose husband of her choice.

15.The RIGHT to refuse a proposed and/or arranged marriage.

16. The RIGHT to re-marry after divorce or after becoming widow.

EXEMPTIONS GIVEN TO WOMEN IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCE.

Women are exempt from:

a.. Fasting when they are pregnant or nursing or menstruating,
b.. Praying when menstruating or bleeding after childbirth,
c.. The obligation to attend congregational prayers in the mosque on Fridays.
d.. They are not obliged to take part as soldiers in the defense of Islam, although they are not forbidden to do so.
But under normal circumstances they are allowed to do all the things that men do.

- Even when they are menstruating, on special days, like the two Eid festivals, they are still allowed to come to the Eid prayers, and menstruating women can take part in most of the actions of the Hajj pilgrimage.

Islamic laws does not requires that women should confine themselves to household duties.

Muslim women have [and are as well] headed Islamic provinces [and states as well], like Arwa bint Ahmad, who served as governor of Yemen under the Fatimid Khalifahs in the late fifth and early sixth century.

Name any other religion, political theory, or philosophy which offers such a comprehensiveness to women by giving her total control of her life and affairs ??? NONE

Think on this!

ALLAH AKBAR . . .

Well they may be written but from what we have seen it is not so, killing your wife if she dishonors you blameing her when husband cheats and killing her thowing her out , beating her regularly
go peddle your BS to someone who does not know better

Salaam (Peace)

Should we say "go peddle your BS" to the non-religious category of people since so, so many non-Muslims and non-religious people in this nation beat and kill their wives? There are a lot of battered women in this country that were beaten, abandoned, and killed by their no church going - non-religious husbands and boyfriends. I've never struck my wife, not once. I am close to a great many Muslim families, and there is no abuse. Abuse happens everywhere, all the time. Abusive actions are flaws of humanity; religion is a "God-Given" tool to assist us in overcoming these flaws. There is no group within society that maintains a flawless behavior.

All those rights are good for woman and I'm sure are met in the West. Sadly in most Muslim countries it seems women a little more than servants.

Well it sounds like you are in tough spot if you are looking to make a girlfriend and still be respectful and not upset anyone that is more fundemental in their religious beliefs...

Based on what you are saying; I can see why arranged marriages are done...it would be awkward to have a blind date or anything of the sort. (Not a date that cant see a date that is setup where you do not know the other person).

unfortunately my exposure to Muslim culture and the middle east didnt include dating practices, so I am not quite sure what would be the best thing to do in your case. I know that people did date all the time, but in every case, it was done in a rather hidden way as modern "western" dating wasnt acceptable to the parents, so it all remained rather hush-hush...

I am not sure what to tell you. I guess that is one of those conflicts that as a westerner I havent had to experience in order to be able to offer any help...my help would be of the "If you love a girl, go out with her, regardless of the results" romantic kind of stuff, but that could be a bad idea for you, I dont know...

You are painting with a very broad brush, and covering a lot of people that would never do what you are accusing them of. Not very nice.

Salaam (Peace)

My wife and I got to know each other over the phone, after her son began studying Islam. We became friends and visited a few times face to face in the presence of others (family members), then decided to get married. We didn't know each other sexually and we had never been alone together, the rules of our religion were never violated and we didn't marry strangers. Allah Al Jami' (The Uniter) has blessed us greatly with each other.

There ya go...I am sure there are ways that the OP can find his way too...

I am glad you are happy. Good for you!

You may think so but I am speaking from personal experience, I will drop this thread but what I said still stands

it may be slow but Islam is another religion that is changing. Many are becoming very moderate. Gays are starting to come out - meet on line for support. Women are getting sick of being ruled.

granted it will take a long time - a few hundred years even, but the religion of Islam , if it is to endure in the modern era , will have to change.

and that doesn't mean easy .......... it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Couldn't care less. I'm not Muslim and found it quite enjoyable to hold my wife's hand (and a whole lot more) before marriage. If some folks in the Middle-East or wherever else want to lapidate/kill themselves because of such a Neanderthal non-sense, go right ahead. Not going to care or feel sorry. Besides, who do you think imposes those restrictions on you and so many others? Man, twisting words from a man-written text, not the big guy upstairs...

Salaam (Peace)

My religious restrictions are self imposed. I have freely chosen to believe, live, and conduct myself the way that I do. You restricting yourself from religiosity is a "man made" idea is it not? I'm sure there are several things that you would find "enjoyable", but make the choice (for whatever reason) to restrict yourself from it. "The big guy upstairs" is a very inaccurate description of our concept of Allah, but I guess that doesn't matter since you reject it either way.

The world is full of people.

I don't debate your choice when you take it. I debate the fact that some make it mandatory for others to follow their own dogma under threat of death. Simple. Freedom of choice. If you want to believe, that's your choice, if others want to believe something else, no need for the throat cutting job. And "the big guy upstairs" is my friendly term for God, however you wish to name him, Allah, Yaweh, the Supreme Being or The Great Spirit. There's only one of them... All IMHO of course

Salaam (Peace)

I agree with you about freewill choice, and there not being a need for all the throat cutting. "La ikraaha fid-deen" - “There is no compulsion in religion” (Quran 2:256).

I understand your reference to "God" as "bid guy upstairs", I mention it only because I often hear non-religious people rejecting a concept of "God" that I myself reject.

Now if only 4-5 billion other humans followed this single and simple concept, the wolrd might just endup being a better place... Wishful thinking utopical idea, but what the heck. Doesn't hurt to dream...

Cheers

..but you've still got your right hand!