Linda invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to
her six- year-old daughter and said,"Would you like to say the
blessing?"

"I don't know what to say," she replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," her mother told her.

The daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did
I invite all these nuts to dinner?"

*************************************

Gibbo was filling out a job application. When he came to the
question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the
affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"

Gibbo answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

**************************************

What do you call it when a blonde drives down the street with her
head out the window?

Refueling.

***************************************

Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been
friends for years, would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their
whistles whenever they passed each other.

A new crewman asked his ship's first mate, "What do they do that
for?"

The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never
read in the Bible where it says an aye for an aye and a toot for a
toot?"