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The Krow
Post your favorite movie/T.V. quote here...

heres one from south park:

Edit; removed crude and offensive text

"I'm just saying you're a little wuss."

now you try...
Magikman
Krow,

This thread won't last very long if its only purpose is to elicite examples of the obscenely crude and disparagingly nasty remarks one can encounter while being 'entertained' these days. If you can't abide by a certain sense of decency, then perhaps you've chosen the wrong subject to entertain responses to.

Magikman
<bleeding_heart>
QUOTE
"Listen Lois, I know you're a feminist and I think thats adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man."

Peter Griffen
stillcrazy
You can't handle the truth.

A few good men.
The Krow
ok then, sorry...take two for me...this is from Family Guy

"Mr. Weed, I can't come to work today. I was in a horrible plane crash. My entire family is dead and I am a vegetable. Bye."
mickyboy
this quote is from the film "Evil Dead 2"

"GROOVY"

cool.gif
daedelus
one of the best quotes i know is when will smith has shot down a aliens space ship in independence day and knocks the alien out . alien.gif

"WELCOME TO EARTH" grin2.gif
Angelfish
"Your brains broken or something." ~ Inuyasha
Cufflink
Out of the one's that spring to mind, is one from the movie, Zulu, starring Michael Caine and Stanley Baker.

The tiny force of British soldiers face certain death at the hands of a huge zulu army.

A nervous rookie, Private Cole, asks, He's right! Why's it us eh? Why us?

To which actor Nigel Green, playing the role of Colour Sergeant Bourne, replies, in a very calm, matter-of-fact way, Because we're 'ere lad! Nobody else. Just us.
jimma
"Chef was a little tightly wound for Vietnam, he was probably too tightly wound for New Orleans"

Apocalypse now (my fav film, in case you didn't guess)
jimma
Zulu, Grrrreeeaaat film, couldnt be further from the truth but thats Hollywood.

"I say old boy, who said you could use my men?, rather you asked first"
Dementia
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you"
said and immortalized Samuel L Jackson in the movie Pulp Fiction!
This movie has tons of great quotes.
Althalus
Here are some Red Dwarf quotes:

" So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you're completely sane? "
- Rimmer, Quarantine

" We have three realistic alternatives: (1) Sit here and get blown up, (2) Stand here and get blown up, (3) Jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up. "
- Holly, Bodyswap

Rimmer: "Step up to Red Alert!"
Kryten: "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb. "
- Kryten, Legion

Lister: "Well, if you've got some amazing secret plan up your sleeve, Kryten, now's the time to mention it."
Kryten: "No plan, sir. No sleeves."
- Lister and Kryten, Inquisitor

"I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000, the same IQ as 6000 PE teachers. "
- Holly, Future Echoes
jimma
"Better a lapdog to a slip of a girl, than a.......................git"

Blackadder
Boddhi
The Italian Job (the original)

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"
schadeaux
“Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have
to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You?
You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than
you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you
curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the
luxury of not knowing what I know: That Santiago's death,
while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while
grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

“You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you
don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You NEED
me on that wall..

“We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words
as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You
use 'em as a punchline.

“I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself
to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very
freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I
provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on
your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and
stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you
think you're entitled to.”

“A Few Good Men”
Col. Nathan Jessep
(Jack Nicholson)

--------------------------------------
“You can be a King
Or a lowly street sweeper,
But sooner or later
You’ll dance with the Reaper.”

“Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey”
Death (William Sadler)
(Paraphrased from last words of
Robert Alton Harris, murderer,
executed 21 April, 1993)

jimma
Anything from 'I'm with Busey' - What a class show, that geezer is a complete FROOT LOOP! blink.gif
jimma
"Thhey seek 'im 'ere, they seek 'im there,
That damned elusive SH - A - DO"

only fools and horses
Agent_21
Oliver Hardy in Going Bye-bye:'Excuse me, please - my ear is full of milk.'
Byuu94
The best monty python saying ever:

"It's" -the"It's" Man
jimma
Duel (1971) ohmy.gif 'How can he go so fast??' scared.gif
Loonboy
Two quotes from 'Aliens' - a damn fine film:

QUOTE
"We're on an express elevator to Hell... going DOWWNNNNNNN!!!" - Hudson.

"Get away from her, you BITCH!!" - Ripley.


w00t.gif
<bleeding_heart>
QUOTE
The Simpsons:
If it was up to me, I'd let you go; but the Gods have a temper, and they've been drinking all day. -Groundskeeper Willy
Kismit
Inspired by Brittanica , I found these from the tragically short lived series' Black books' ...

Bernard : I've never said it before because I'm too nice, but your son has the cold, dead eyes of a killer.

------------------------------
Bernard : Look at his face I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl ...
------------------------------

Manny: I've swallowed the 'Little book of Calm'
----------------------------------
Manny: Of course you can't taste anything. You smoke eighty berjillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
Bernard: It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster.
------------------------------
and my favorite

' You know what you are ? you're a beard with an idiot hanging off it . '
Boff
From Reservoir Dogs:

"Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?" - Mr. Pink

"Because your a faggot! thats why" - Joe
<bleeding_heart>
Simpsons

QUOTE
Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like the English and the Scots. Or the Welsh and the Scots. Or the Japanese and the Scots. Or the Scots and the other Scots. Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland! -Groundskeeper Willie


QUOTE
Principal Skinner: That's two independent thought alarms in one day. Willie, the children are over-stimulated. Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms. 
Groundskeeper Willie: I warned ya about the colored chalk, didn't I warn ya? That chalk was forged by Lucifer himself.


QUOTE
Now, the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury. -Groundskeeper Willie


QUOTE
Private detective: Where's principal Skinner's office? 
Groundskeeper Willy: Wait a minute. You can't just walk in there. 
Private detective: You know, you're the spitting image of the Aberdeen strangler.
Groundskeeper Willy: Carry on.  [leaves, whistling]


QUOTE
Willy: Don't be hard on the wee boy. His father is going to ga-ga and chop 'em all into haggis. 
Bart: What's haggis? 
Willy: You read my mind boy. You've got the shinning. 
Bart: You mean "shining"? 
Willy: Shh. You want to get sued?




schadeaux
A man's got to know his limitations...

Dirty Harry?
Clint Eastwood


QUOTE
I know what you’re thinkin’
“Did he fire six shots, or only five?”
Well, to tell the truth, in all the excitement
I kinda lost track myself.  So ya gotta ask yourself
one question…
“Do I feel lucky?”
Well, do ya… Punk?

Dirty Harry
Harry Calahan
(Clint Eastwood)
sabretooth
to quote BRUCE " ASH " CAMPBELL "HAIL TO THE KING ,BABY!!" ( THIS DOES NOT ON GIRLS BY THE WAY ) grin2.gif
ghostsandghouls
"you're gonna need a bigger boat"-chief brody to quint...jaws.
julie xx notworthy.gif
sabretooth
how sweet fresh meat

fred kruger-nightmare 4
NoName
'Me, I always tell the truth, even when I lie' - Al Pacino, Scarface

'Its what you love, not what loves you, that makes you what you are'- Nicolas Cage, Adaptation
buggyelfmaiden
QUOTE
"I don't see no points in your ears, boy. But you sound like a Vulcan."
"No, sir. I am an android."
"Almost as bad."

-- Admiral ["McCoy"] and Data in ST:TNG "Encounter At Farpoint"


QUOTE
"I think you just hit a nerve. Vorlons must owe them money or something."
"This also tells they understand our language. They are just not willing to speak to us using that."
"Who knew they were French?"

-- Marcus and Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Voices of Authority"


QUOTE
"Zog? What do you mean zog? Zog what? Zog yes, zog no?"
"It's leaving. My guess is zog means no."
"Like hell. I am not letting them leave here without saying yes."
"Really? And how do you propose stopping them? Perhaps a big red and white sign with the word 'Stop' on it? I'll put a bucket on my head and pretend to be the ancient Vorlon god Booji."
"That's it!"
"Fine, I'll get a bucket."

-- Ivanova and Marcus in Babylon 5:"Voices of Authority"


QUOTE
"There are three of them with guns against two of us with nothing. They'll gun us down before we get half across the room."
"All we need is one of them to leave the room. Then there will be only one man with the gun."
"Excuse me, where I come from, one man from three leaves two."
"Where I come from is a far more interesting place."

-- Franklin and Marcus in Babylon 5:"Exogenesis"

That sounds like funny math to me though...... Franklin musta gone to the same school as G. Dubaya

QUOTE
"I will vouch for his character! I saw the entire thing .. because I was there. I was in it. I was .. And they made a very agreeable thump. Or did I mention that?"

-- G'Kar to Marcus in Babylon 5:"A Late Delivery from Avalon"


Okay that's my last one for now... I'm in giggle fits from that one.
Althalus
There are some brilliant quotes in babylon 5, here's some more:

'Garibaldi: whats the worst that could happen? They fire you, ship you off to the Rim, and I get promoted to Commander, I don't see a problem with that.'

Sinclair: 'Everybody lies, Michael. Th innocet lie because they don't want to be blamed for something they didn't do, and the guilty lie because they don't have any other choice.'

G'Kar: 'The universe runs on the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.'

'Ivonova is always right, I will listen to Ivonova. I will not ignore Ivonova's recommendations. Ivonova is God. And ifthis ever happens again, Ivonova will personally rip your lungs out..'

'Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way is bad for Zathras.'
buggyelfmaiden
I was gonna post the Zathras one too hehehe

QUOTE
"You're durnk and when you're drunk you forget I am in charge"
"Okay great leader... Which way?"
The brownies on Willow.

Hm... should I drag out some Mad Mortigan lines?

*GIggles*
jimma
Whats Babylon 5?
buggyelfmaiden
QUOTE (jimma @ Apr 29 2004, 12:39 PM)
Whats Babylon 5?

A science fiction show. Took place on a space station.

Gah I forgot who played Sheriden (He was in the movie Tron)

It was an excelent storyline, and the characters were belevable (I think there's about four times I wanted G'kar to kill Londo...Arrogaunt twerp...)

Loonboy

From Most Haunted:


YVETTE: Come back with the torch!!!

THE WHOLE TEAM: What's that noise? Whaaaaaaaaa eeeeeeee (and they all run for the door) thumbsup.gif
Althalus
buggyelfmaiden,

Sheridan was played by Bruce Boxleitner

Also some Willow quotes:

Willow~

"Be careful. I'm a powerful sorceror. See this acorn? I'll throw it at you and turn you to stone."
"Oooooh...I'm really scared. No, don't...don't! There's a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!"
"Awww...well I wouldn't wanna waste it..."
"Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!"
- Willow and Madmartigan at the Daikini Crossroads

"Don't call me a peck!"
"Oh, I'm sorry...peck, peck...peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!"
- Willow and Madmartigan at the crossroads

"I am the father of two children. And you never, ever give a baby blackroot!"
"My mother raised us on blackroot. It's good for you. Puts hair on your chest, doesn't it, Sticks?"
"Her name is not 'Sticks'. She's Elora Danan, the future Empress of Tir Asleen...and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest!"
- Willow and Madmartigan on their journey

High Aldwin~

"The outside world is no place for a Nelwyn. Give the baby to the first Daikini you see and hurry home. Tuwatha, Locothrock, Tuwatha! Go in the direction the bird is flying!"
"It's going back to the village!"
"Ignore the bird. Follow the river."
- High Aldwin and Burglecutt as the travelers embark on their journey

Madmartigan~

"Get me some water peck, or you die. Understand? Water!"
- Said to Willow upon their meeting at the crossroads

"Well that was really stupid, peck."
- Said to Willow upon his refusal to go home with the other Nelwyns

"I'll be around long after you're dead! When I get out of here, I'm gonna cut your head off and stick it on a pig pole!"
- Shouted to Airk as he leaves him in the cage at the crossroads

"Wanna breed?"
"Tempting...but, no."
- Llug and Madmartigan while he's dressed as a woman

"You are crawling with brownies..."
- Said to Willow

"You're...beautiful..."
"And you're very strong. You're no woman!"
- Madmartigan and Sorsha as she's looking for the baby

"Goodbye, Sticks. If you really are a princess, take care of him."
- Said to Elora Danan before he leaves

"Why don't you help me find a way out of here instead of chattering with that muskrat?"
"Muskrat! When I'm turned back into my human form, I will crush this army and take Elora Danan to Tir Asleen where she will be safe."
- Madmartigan and Fin Razel

"Oh Sorsha...wake from this hateful sleep. It deprives me of your beauty...the beauty of your eyes..."
"One move, jackass, and you really will be a woman."
"You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky. Without you, I dwell in darkness."
"What are you doing here?"
"Your power has enchanted me, and I stand helpless against it. Tonight, let me worship you in my arms! I love you!"
"Stop saying that!"
"How can I stop the beating of my heart? It pounds like never before."
"Out of fear."
"Out of love!"
"I can stop it. I'll kill you."
"Death next to love is trivial thing. Your touch is worth a hundred thousand deaths."
- Madmartigan and Sorsha after he is affected by the Dust of Broken Hearts

"What the hell happened up there?"
"You started spouting poetry! I love you Sorsha, I worship you Sorsha...you almost got us killed!"
"I love you Sorsha? I don't love her. She kicked me in the face. I hate her! Don't I...?"
- Madmartigan and Willow after their sled escape

"I serve the Nelwyn, Airk."
- Said to Airk before he and Willow head to Tir Asleen

The Brownies~

"I stole the baby! I stole the baby!"
- Franjean as he carries the baby away on the back of a bird

"Rool, you fool. He does not need to know everything."
"I didn't tell him everything."
"You told him enough."
"What did I say?"
"You mentioned the island, you mentioned the queen..."
"Wait a minute...what are you saying, mysterious island?"
"Don't play with that wand. Cherlindrea told you it holds vast power. Only a great sorceror can use it, not a stupid peck like you!"
- Franjean, Rool and Willow

"You are drunk, and when you are drunk, you forget that I am in charge."
"You are in charge. Fine. Then which way do we go?"
"That way!" (simultaneously) - Franjean and Rool arguing about which way to go

"Oooh...look at her...I could sure use a love potion on her. Hey, Franjean, give me the Dust of Broken Heart."
- Rool to Franjean at the tavern

"Your eyes...your whiskers...I have to kiss you!"
- Rool to a cat, after having been sprinkled with the Dust of Broken Hearts

"I stole the baby from you Daikini, while you were taking a pee-pee!"
- Franjean to Madmartigan

"Rool, you fool! Get out of the road!"
- Franjean to Rool as a stampede of horses comes near

"That's Razel?"
"I don't know...I was expecting something more grand...less uhh..."
"Fuzzy!"
"Fuzzy."
- Rool and Franjean upon meeting Razel

"I always knew he was a traitor!"
- Franjean in regards to Madmartigan

"Rats! Big rats!"
"Rats...oh, Rool! You and that stupid rat dream!"
- Rool and Franjean
Fenris
(Hudson) "Hey Vasquez, you ever been mistaken for a man?"

(Vasquez) "No..... Have you?"

laugh.gif
mickyboy
ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST


DID YOU BRING A HORSE FOR ME?

WE ARE ONE SHORT....

......NO........YOU BROUGHT TWO TOO MANY


thumbsup.gif
mickyboy
A LONG GOOD FRIDAY STARRING BOB HOSKINS

(BOB HOSKINS) IT COMES TO SOMETHING WHEN THE MAFIA CANT HANDLE A LITTLE PROBLEM

(MAFIOSO 1) A LITTLE PROBLEM, TONY DID YOU HEAR THAT A LITTLE PROBLEM, THIS IS LIKE A BAD NIGHT IN VIETNAM

(BOB HOSKINS) LOOK AT YOU, YOU CANT WAIT TO GET OUTA HERE

(MAFIOSO 1) BOMBS GOING OFF ALWAYS HAS THAT EFFECT ON ME HAROLD

(BOB HOSKINS) WELL, THATS IT THEN........I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING THOUGH........IM GLAD I FOUND OUT JUST WHAT A PARTNERSHIP WITH A PAIR OF WAN*"RS LIKE YOU WOULD OF BEEN, TALK ABOUT ASLEEP, YOU TWO ARE IN A FU"*IN COMA, WHAT IM LOOKING FOR IS SOMEONE WHO CAN CONTRIBUTE TO WHAT ENGLAND HAS GIVEN TO THE WORLD, CULTURE, SOPHISTICATION, GENIUS.........A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN A HOTDOG KNOW WHAT I MEAN.....
Kira
Tank Girl

Tank Girl: This comet came crashing into the earth. BAM! Total devastation. No celebrities, no cable TV, *no water*! It hasn't rained in 11 years. Now, 20 people gotta squeeze into the same bathtub. So it ain't all bad.

Blade.
Blade: There are worse things out tonight than vampires.
Dr. Karen Jenson: Like what?
Blade: Like me.

And my all time favourite from Much ado about nothing...

BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior
Benedick: nobody marks you.


BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?


BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she hath 105
such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?
Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come
in her presence.


BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I
am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I 110
would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard
heart; for, truly, I love none.


BEATRICE A dear happiness to women: they would else have
been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God
and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I 115
had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man
swear he loves me.


BENEDICK God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some
gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate
scratched face. 120


BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such
a face as yours were.


BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.


BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.


BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and 125
so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's
name; I have done.


BEATRICE You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.

thumbsup.gif






buggyelfmaiden
Thank you Althus. *G*

Some Forever Knight ones...

QUOTE
Natalie: Is this the same guy that came to me begging to help him change so he could see the sunrise?
Nick: Screw the sunrise. Give me the bottle.


QUOTE
[Nick is dangling the murderer out of the window]
Schanke: Bring him back inside!
Nick: He doesn't deserve to live, Schanke!
Schanke: Nick, you solved this thing! Besides, think of the paperwork if you drop him!


QUOTE
Nick: Woodstock...
Schanke: Yeah, Woodstock. You were there? Yeah, right. In macrame diapers. And Janis Joplin sang you a lullaby. You're full of it, Knight.
Nick: Actually, I was with the Grateful Dead.


QUOTE
Natalie: Have you tried that artificial blood substitute I gave you?
Nick: Oh, you mean the low fat, zero cholesterol, no sodium, absolutely no flavor...


Okay... now where did I put those anime ones....


Vampire hunter D

QUOTE
Count Magnus Lee: I've lived for almost ten thousand years. Believe me you have no idea what that means: boredom. Everlasting and hideous boredom. A never ending search for ways to pass the time... and mating with a human female is one of the few I enjoy. Eventually they become tiresome. For in spite of their vitality, they are fundamentally stupid creatures who couldn't survive without the nobility to rule them. Perhaps now you'll understand my wanting to have some fun every thousand years or so?


Hellsing
What can I say I'm on a vampy kick at the moment. And hehe Walter and Integral are so cool. *G*

QUOTE
Walter: I highly recommend pissing yourself followed by a course of praying to your impotent god.


QUOTE
Alucard: (Paladin Anderson has just revealed his healing power) You are less than inhuman. A pitiful defect, a failed science project. Sending you to your maker would be an act of mercy. Your regenreation powers' impressive, but I bet if I put enough bullets into your skull you will stay down for good. So let's cut to the chase. Start begging.
Paladin Alexander Anderson: Empty threat of a coward vampire that hides behind the weapons of man.


QUOTE
"The old dog and the new girl. What a team we would make." - Walter


Now Here I have a delema... Shall I post Blade quotes?
<bleeding_heart>
QUOTE
I don't want your Mom to worry alright? When she worries she starts saying things like 'I told you so' or 'Stop doing that I'm asleep'. - Peter Griffen (Family Guy)


QUOTE
[After being kicked out of a theme park] Yeah, well... I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park! -Bender (Futurama)


QUOTE
Thank God there were plenty of escape pods. We won't have to dress up like women and children. -Professor Hubert Farnsworth (Futurama)


QUOTE
[Gunther the Monkey runs away]  Oh, I always feared he would run off like this. Why? WHY? WHY didn't I break his legs? - Professor Hubert Farnsworth (Futurama)


QUOTE
There. This'll teach those filthy b******ds who's lovable. -Bender (Futurama)


The Krow
south park:

DEY TOOK ER JOBS

extremely funny, you gotta hear it...

another one:

Rob Shnieder in A der da derk da derka de derk

watch the show and you'll find out how funny it is...
schadeaux
QUOTE (Celti @ Apr 29 2004, 11:46 AM)
Tank Girl  
 
Tank Girl: This comet came crashing into the earth. BAM! Total devastation. No celebrities, no cable TV, *no water*! It hasn't rained in 11 years. Now, 20 people gotta squeeze into the same bathtub. So it ain't all bad.

wub.gif

Also by Tank Girl:

“Feeling a little inadequate?”

“It’s been swell, but the swelling’s gone down…”

“Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry s**t continues just shoot me now please.” wub.gif


And South Park (almost every episode):

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"
"You Bastards!"
Mishari
Jason Alexander From Jerry Seinfeld Show

QUOTE
Answer Message Song "Believe it or not Geroge isn't home, you can leave a message at the beeps, i must be out, so i am not home, where could i be, Believe or not i am not home'!"Singing ends. beep!!


Jerry Seinfeld From Jerry Seinfeld Show

QUOTE
Talking on the Phone, " Hello this Alex Fisher From Daily News, i was wondering if you were intrested in......, Jerry Seinfeld says" Jeez, you caught me on a bad time, sorry give me your phone number so i could call you back" Alex from the News says" I am sorry we are not allowed to do that", Jerry says "well i guess you don't want people calling you at home, Alex says" yes", Jerry says " Well now you know how i feel!!" Hangs Up!
The Krow
Here is one from South Park:

Background: Timmy and Jimmy are 2 crippled children are trying to join the Crips...Timmy and Jimmy think that it is a club for crippled people...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jimmy: Well, we're glad you see it our way, fellas. So can we join your g... group?

Buff Crip: All right, you wanna thug with the Five Point Crips? B!tches, all you gotta do is pop some punk-@ss Bloods.

Jimmy: Well, sure. Tim and I would love to pop some punk-@ss Bloods. We're terrific at it.

Timmy: Timmih?

Jimmy: [turns and answers softly] I don't know, Timmy, just play along.

Timmy: Uh-tu-Timmih!

Buff Crip: So you sayin' yuh down?

Jimmy: Down like a clown, Charlie Br... Down like a clown, Charlie B-broooowww... Down like a clown, Charlie Browh... Bro-uh-own. Down like a clown, Charlie Br-Brown. [music starts up again, and Timmy and Jimmy leave. As they walk down the street a rap song plays]

Jimmy: Say Timmy, did you notice that all the crippled people in that club are negros?

Timmy: Timmih!

Jimmy: That's an amm-mmazing coincidence. I mean, there's not one crippled colored person in South Park. [as they walk, a police car rolls up and the passenger-side officer calls out]

Officer: Hey you kids.

Jimmy: [stops and looks] Well hello, officers.

Officer: What the hell do you think you're doin'?

Jimmy: We're goin' to pop some punk-@ss Bloods.

Timmy: Timmih! [the officers simply look at each other and drive off.]

buggyelfmaiden
Ahhhhhhh MICK SIG!

*GLOMPS KROW*

Sorry... Had to... Heheheheheh
Britannica
More quotes from the amazing BLACK BOOKS:

Bernard: I dont know, it's an impossible choice, I just hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me!

Bernard: I'm turning into one of those men who just sits and stares at women...
Fran:You haven't been staring at me.
Bernard: You're my oldest friend. Also, you look like you just fell out of a tree.

(on finishing a meal)
Bernard: What were those strangely coloured things?
Manny: Vegetables

Bernard: I need a girlfriend...just for the summer...and she'll have hair...and friends who know how to be outdoors, and she'll wear dresses and be barefoot, and in the Autumn I'll dump her, cos she's my summer girl!

(Poem Bernard sends prospective "summer girl")

"think of a bee,
you are it's knees,
you waft through me like a summer breeze,
Can I come round Tuesday please?"

Bernard: You can't be angry with me! You're my summer girlfriend, you dont get angry! you throw your head back and laugh, and throw away the cherry off the pie then only eat the cream, because that's what Auntie Nibbs used to do!

Bernard:You know Fran, you're my oldest friend, dont you think It's time we recognised the huge mutual attraction between us and, you know, got together?
Fran:Um, no, I think we should wait a while.
Bernard:For how long?
Fran:Until at least one of us is dead?

Fran:But it's so hot there! Won't you get dehydrated?
Manny:Well in a tight spot you CAN always drink your own urine.
Fran: But what about washing?
Manny: Well It's not much of a priority when you're quaffing pints of your own wizz.

Manny:Let's...
Bernard:Dont you dare use the word 'party' as a verb in this shop!

Bernard: Naughty passport, hiding in the crisps again!

Bernard: NO! NO! NO! You have to serve ALL the food in little towers! What is that?
Manny: Soup
Bernard:Thats no excuse, get it into a tower NOW!

Manny: I quit!
Bernard: You quit every day! I'm going out for some peace now, so when you re-apply for the job in about half an hour perhaps you could interview yourself...Maybe you could wear your pinstripe suit, the one which gives you a big arse, you like the look of yourself in that!

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