President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland,Canada ey?

I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN! --- LUV those NEWFIES

We all know that the above conversation would never have happened though It would have gone more like...

that was awesome

Yay go Canada
and george bush doesn't know how to work a phone

I loved that!

A good quote Seraphina! Very funny! I loved it!

WE CAN TAKE EM!

Very good, I thought the accent was well done.

I think I'll move to Canada, at least THEY have a sense of humor.

omg that was awsome! I didnt see the ending coming

to funny...PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!

Hahaha, thats Great.

I still think this is funny!

I agree!

Ay! Mr Bush seems we have to cancel we have had problems with our Tomahawk missiles.
The wooden handles keep falling of!

the following joke does not by any means reflect the views and opinions of the user known as "jeceris". he really does like those that live in newfoundland, and respects and loves their culture. he has drank screech and kissed a cod on the mouth. here at "jeceris" we shall continue to considers those on the "rock" as fellow canadians and the not just the fodder for all jokes about stupid folk.

two newfies are driving to toronto.
as they get into ontario, they see a sign on the highway that says, "toronto, left".
so they turned around and went home.

loved your joke dot

LMAO

wow we canadians #1 plx also our word is EH not EY lol or maybe its both i donno never been to Newfie yet lol, anyways ya thats pretty funny...


but remember this... we shall own in a snowball war o.o