This is one of those times when I don't have any particular theme in mind. So I figured I'd rip off an article I read in Maxim magazine several years ago. Wait a minute, that's plagiarism, and plagiarism is wrong. So I'm just gonna write down some observations and questions I come up with in the average day.

How is it many products have a coloring called "yellow #5," but you never see yellow #3 or yellow #7? I think maybe yellow #5 just likes to take all the credit.

Nobody ever says "I think vertebrae are really overrated."

I think, because of what they're called, nuns may tend to have low self esteem. I move to have them called forever after, "persons of an adequate quantity."

One day, just for fun, start telling people random things, like "I'm wearing shoes, get it?" See who gets it, avoid them.

I want to name my firstborn son Zaglar the Devourer, after my uncle. He was a concert pianist.

Somewhere in the world, at this very moment, someone is having the exact same thought as you are. Personally, I wouldn't take that sort of crap.

You ever get the feeling someone's laughing at you behind your back, only to find out they were doing it right in front of you the whole time?

If I ever got to be king for a day, I'd have to have my cape and scepter with me everywhere I went. Then I'd decree that I would be king for life. If that didn't work out, I'd still want to keep the scepter.

I can't say the words "dangling participle" without giggling.

I've never seen an orangutan and a mongoose in the same place at the same time. I think it's about time they learned to get along.

Did you ever spin around as fast as you could when you were little, just to see how dizzy you could get? Don't you feel stupid now?

I still consider myself to be very likeable.*

So that's my article for this week, I thought I'd make a few pithy remarks and see how everyone reacts, and maybe see if you can come up with some witty nonsense of your own. that and I had absolutely nothing worth writing about.



*this is actually a quote from Dada poet Tristan Tzara, he ended all his poems with this.

This is reproduced from my site. Its just a little joke thing I put together when I and my cousin and some of his friends started coming up with silly band and song names.

The hip new group from Washington, Delicious Overstone, were recently signed to a 4 year contract, following in the footsteps of their predecessors, The Aforementioned Wiener. So far, the only work released by Fat Orange has been Overstone's demo single, "Denny Hair (I Wish I Had)".

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Also look for other Fat Orange applicants/potential new bands:
Humpledink Perception
Fractured Gristle
I Swear Its Only Soup!
Perturbing Mastication
Ow My Spleen
Giraffes have no idea
Abercrombie LIED
KittyHawk Litter
The Baby's Rambling
Find My Foot
Inexhaustible Arthropod
Nancy Boy Grenade
Slud
The Drastic Ham Resolution
No Water for Peabo
Charbroil Flambe and the Pink Suitcases from Wyoming
See Colon Backslash
Swarm of Gravy
Dynamic Philanthropy Incorporated
Choose Rice
President Anarchy
Slattern's Innocence
Remember the Alamo's Neighbors
Slug Bug and Preen
Obese Chess Piece
Necromancer's Bowl Cut
Bad Bunnyfoot
Triple NASDAQUARI
Unadulterated Mediocrity
Mysogenistic Feminist
Ridiculous Toupee
That's Bigamy!
The Baldwin Clone Factory
Dragonball Z is NOT Anime
Greater Than < Less Than
If-Then-Else
Turnips in the Dirigible
Once Upon Your Face
Same Old Cliche
The Humorously Mangled Pick-Up Lines
Shiela Backtwaddle and Driedel Puckers
Imigdula Home
Grandstanding Vacation
Watch For Ice On Bridge
Ped Xing
Attention K-Mart Shoppers
Dodoshump
Buddha Boogied
Gramma Made The Pie
The Reformed John Inman Society
Mrs. Slokum's Pussy
Gulping the Goods

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Hot New Folk Rockabilly Trance Acid Ska band, Aforementioned Wiener debut

After paying their dues and interning with and opening for some of Fat Orange Records' larger and more well-known artists, such as Strontium-38, Animal Spouse and Jesus With Earplugs, the other artists, impressed by the Wiener's spirit, invited them to open at Fat Orange Records' first multi-artist event, the "Does This Look Infected?" tour, which was exactly the break the group was looking for, as just this limited exposure caused their popularity to skyrocket, with some fans pointing to the band's stirring rendition of "La Cucaracha", which featured a truly jaw-dropping guitar solo by Jesus With Earplugs.

Discography

Longer Than The Bun (Original Demo CD) - 2001
1. Peanut Butter and Crabs
2. Longer Than The Bun
3. Pelvic Light Switch
4. Lemur Juice
5. Another Lovely Day For Kraut

Second Skin / On The Inside (Double CD Debut) - 2002 Fat Orange Records
CD 1:

1. Fishes and Oafs
2. Drugs and Dragons
3. No Respect For Bananas
4. Blessed With A Big Pickle
5. Hot Phalanges
6. Nipple Fish (Live In These Waters)
7. Gramma Parks Funky
8. Airborne Tadpoles
9. Don't Bump It, Shake It or Sniff It
10. Homosexual Garden Gnome
11. Ridin' The Short Bus Of Love
12. (Its a) Short Bus Christmas
13. Pimping Out Cody
14. Genuine Nemesis Genesis
15. Christmas Weed

CD 2:

16. Original Girl
17. Agile For A Fat Guy
18. Get Sheet Off
19. Ice Cream Gloves/Clones
20. Gay And Mad
21. Lubed Up With Peanut Butter
22. Keep Your Knife Wet and Warm
23. Cleaning For My Dad
24. Natural Rat Poison
25. Rusted Tanks and Fat Dragoons
26. Enhance Your Clam
27. Bad With A Foil
28. Shooting Bugs On The Floor
29. Can't Stand A Soggy Biscuit

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Lastly, from a tiny vbscript generator I made: "No, the question is who *WOULDN'T* want a chocolate traffic light "

-note: just for safety's sake, everything in this post I've made is copyrighted and as noted, taken from my site which also has a copyright disclaimer. I hate having to say that, I don't even know if it does any good, heh.

Anyway, hope you (all?) enjoyed my addition, I liked the random thoughts list!

My favorite was Inexhaustible Arthropod. It takes a long time to say and doesn't make a lot of sense. thanks for the goofy band names jpatt.

I admit, this may not have been one of my best ideas.

I always love coming up with band names.

I came up with a cool name for an instrumental jazz/funk fusion type band..... Metaphorical Oxymoron.

Also, here are the names of bands/groups I've been in. Yes, actual bands, not garage BS.

Corners of a Circle, Judge Me Not, 7LeafCloverand The CyberPymps.

I thought they were really neat names.

7LC (7leafclover) was actually a rap group I was in, now it's a solo project.

The Cyber Pymps is my current project, which is a mix of all genres of music I like. A couple times a week (with a couple friends) I play live at open jam nights at the bars around where I live.

I just felt like sharing that.

My friend always wanted to start a band called Los Asbestos. I think he just wants to have the name.

My favorite made up band name for a band that doesn't actually exist is the Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. I wish there was a band with that name.

While we are at it, heres one i made up to go along with my shotgun theme: Buckshot B*tches... >_>;