"Shes got the cutest little upturned nose.....the softest lips....the sweetest adams apple..." - From Baseketball

Maddy-' i thought you weren't going on the net'
me-' what gave you that idea?'
Maddy-'you said you weren't. you lied.'
me-' no i didn't. i said i was going on the computer, so here i am. so i didn't lie.... i just didn't tell you what i was going to do on the computer' me and my sis argueing last night

What exactly are “Non-Dairy Creamer” and “Low Carb” bread made from?

Yeah yeah get more money more money yea yea get more money more money....



50cent



funny he wants more yet he has 10000000000000000000001919191191313 dollars!

British comedian, Dave Spikey who used to be a Nurse, talking about how when he goes to hospital now he notices things that he didn't before;

"I was walking through the hospital and I saw a sign that read, Family Planning - Use Back Door"

"Never More"
- The Raven

"You all owe me a rib!" Eddey Murphy.

That's not really funny, that's greedy. Very very greedy

"Am I the only sane one here, how about we drop the defensive shields..."

"A superlative suggestion sir, with just 2 minor drawbacks. 1. We have no defensive shields..... nad 2. We have no defensive shields...... Now I know that is only one point, but I thought it was such a big one it was worth mentioning twice..."

Red Dwarf

"i have to go.... things to do, places to be and people to torment."- me

"If hes so smart, how come hes dead" - Homer Simpson

God gave me style god gave me grace god put a smile on my face....god put this smile on my face...




50Cent

"If you had everything, where would you put it?"

"Bwahahaha, I finally have the pics of the beanies I have made into various other creatures: Two Chimeras, a centaur, a literal catfish, and a horse-frog...thing. Behold my awsome sewing power!!!" -Me (on another forum)

If you'd like to see the pics, here's the link below:
http://anubites.proboards39.com/index.cgi?...&num=1106526743

"I have as much interest in saving my life, as a chronicly depressed lemming..." - Red Dwarf

friend- HAHAHAHAHA!!!! You totally just threw yourself down the stairs! What the f***?!
me- i needed pain from anything but you...
friend-...ooooooh. what does that mean?
me- use your imagination.
friend- *cough*

"Don't fish swim south for the winter?"

"No, thats birds sir"

"Birds? How do they breath?"

- Red dwarf

"What is your favourite: Sex, drugs, or Rock n' Roll?"

(me)
"Rock n' Roll, it is just sex and drugs and kick ass music."



Not that funny, but it made my friends laugh. Yes, they are almost as weird as me.

"I would be a GOOD cool person." Me To Star_Child.

"I would be a GOOD cool person." Me To Star_Child.

Indeed, but I don't want you to be cool. Be a weirdo with me!!!!!!!!

"Well, what do you want to do now?" me to KT
"After you turned down the lights and got ready for bed?" KT
"Yes" me
"But what can we do in bed, Sara?" KT

~~~Saturday, early morning, around 1am(please excuse KT's questions:P)~~~

Taken from an episode of Red Dwarf where Lister is at a computer screen when something crawls up his leg. Cat comes in and joins him. Lines in italaics are lines typed on a computer screen.

Lister: Help. Something is crawling up my leg. I think it's a taranshula.
Cat: You're playing that dumb adventure game!
Lister: It's in my boxers. I think it's making a nest.
Cat: Well, buy a potion from Gandalf the Master Wizard -- that's what I usually do.
Lister: I'm SERIOUS.
Cat: (looks down, sees it, then begins typing too) > It has an eye the size of a meatball.
Lister: Kill it.
Cat: How?
Lister: I can't think straight. I've got a taranshula with an eye the size of a meatball setting up home in my joy department. Help me.
Cat: I'm scared
Lister: YOU'RE scared? How d'you think I feel?
Cat: You haven't SEEN it!

I actually laughed at that. i think it was more to do with you calling the a joy department. lol. I will remember that!

"And thus the words were spoken;
And this the plighted vow;
And, though my faith be broken,
And, though my heart be broken,
Here is a ring as token
That I am Happy now!"
E.A.Poe


isnt this just lovely

Oh to be a lumbering pair of crutches, at the mercy of a crippled world war 2 vet...

"Our Coffee, who art drunk in Heaven- hallowed by thy caffiene..."- Me

"Behind every great woman is a man checking out her ass"
-- On some T-Shirt I saw...

"Behind every successful man is a woman whipping his arse."

"Yes. No. Maybe." -Student
"Choose one!" -Teacher
"One of those has to be the answer." -Student

"even if Korn gave Head to god..." - Subby

Greg- All work and no play make Greg a dull boy.
Grisam- All play and no work make greg an unemployed boy. - CSI

"praising the lord HAVE A BABY!!"
and "with just a wave of my magic wand im master of your fate!" (said fast)lol

You can hate it or love it the underdogs on top and I'm gonna shine homie untill my heart stops...




GAME

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

--Jack Handy

Hawk7886 Hates Uwe Boll says:
it was a single kilobyte
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
Yeah, about that...
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
oh, we aren't talking about the porn movies...oops
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
...sh**
Hawk7886 Hates Uwe Boll says:
...

Behind every great woman is a man checking out her ass- not sure where i heard that.

I posted that yesterday. I saw it on a T-Shirt in a shop. I would have got it but it had a picture of a man and woman dancing which I didn't like...


"I'm sick of been single. I need some action damnit!"
-- My friend in a discussion of girls and how we are both currently single ...

and

"Life's a b****, and she's back in heat!"
-- Nada, They Live

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
-- Nada, They Live

*ringtone:all the small things*
me: sheldon? it's michelle, is my sister with you?
sheldon: why aren't you at school?
me: ....i'm sick *cough* see?
sheldon: yeah right, get your a** to school.
me: ................sheldon? it's michelle, is my sister with you?
sheldon:* sigh...click*

"Life is like a cup of coffee, it's got bite, keeps you up late, gets on your nerves... and occaisonlly, you get chunkies on the bottom of the cup"- Guess who?

"You can take your own holiday cheer and shove it up your a$$!'

Willard

Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame others.- me

If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compramise everything at anytimae and you would achieve nothing.- Margaret Thatcher.

If you want to improve your understanding, drink coffee.

"Get that out of my mouth!!"-me

"C'mon, it's not THAT sticky!"-weirdo

you never really learn to swear until you get a computer.- my homepage

LMAO


"It can't rain all the time"
- Eric Draven, The Crow

"Stop knowing things, Janiel!" -saRa.

"I'll lick your fingers" - KT to me

"I'll bite you" - KT
"I'll bite you harder" - saRa
"I'll lick you" - KT
*silence*
"sh**!!" - KT
"Nice job, KT" - saRa

"I have your finger!......I have your finger!....It's a 'hard' finger.." - saRa
While shaking my index finger.

"what's wrong with this guy? is he decomposing or something?"- some kid on a movie i was watching on tv (he was talking about the guys aftershave)

Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
You know what confuses me about Gwen Stefani?
saRa says:
Eh?
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
How the f*** she dances in high heels that look like their about 7 inches high
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
they're
saRa says:
She just... does...
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
I want to know how
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
it doesn't look possible
saRa says:
I probably could, but with my luck, I'd fall and break something...
Janiel Hates Uwe Boll says:
I wanna defy physics