Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
~Victor Borge.

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."

— Albert Einstein

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

~Chris Rock

No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.
~Elbert Hubbard.

“There is no Heaven, there is no Hell; These are the dreams of baby minds; Tools of the wily Fetisheer, To fright the fools his cunning blinds”
~Richard Burton

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
~Abraham Lincoln.

Why should I refuse a good dinner simply because I don't understand the digestive processes involved?
- Oliver Heaviside

"If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. "- Albert Einstein

"They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but who wants to eat a cold meal?"
~Me

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

"Who Jah bless, no one curse."

Barrington Levy

If one speaks or acts with a cruel mind, misery follows, as the cart follows the horse... If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, happiness follows, as a shadow follows its source.
~The Dhammapada.

" Never hate your enemies, it impairs your judgement. "


Michael Corleone

Fundamentalist Christianity is on the rise among the electorate of the world's only superpower, right up to and including the President. If you believe the surveys, 45 percent of Americans, that's about 135 million people, believe the universe is less than ten thousand years old.
-Richard Dawkins

The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.
~Henry Kissinger.

Velasco: I wish I were ten years older.
Corie: Older?
Velasco: Yes. Dirty old men seem to get away with a lot more. I'm still at that awkward stage... How long are you married?
Corie: Six days-
Velasco: In love-?
Corie: Very much-
Velasco: Damn.
Corie: What's wrong?
Velasco: Under my present state of financial duress, I was hoping to be invited down soon for a free meal. But with newlyweds I could starve to death.

Barefoot In The Park, a play by Neil Simon

"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."

Aristotle

"Great minds have great purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them."

Washington Irving
1783-1859, Author

"The evidence of evolution pours in, not only from geology, paleontology, biogeography, and anatomy (Darwin's chief sources), but from molecular biology and every other branch of the life sciences. To put it bluntly but fairly, anyone today who doubts that the variety of life on this planet was produced by a process of evolution is simply ignorant -- inexcusably ignorant, in a world where three out of four people have learned to read and write. Doubts about the power of Darwin's idea of natural selection to explain this evolutionary process are still intellectually respectable, however, although the burden of proof for such skepticism has become immense."

-- Daniel Dennett, Darwin's Dangerous Idea

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."
Augustine of Hippo
354-430 AD

Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again - this is the brave and happy life.
~J. E. Buchrose.

"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are."
Chauncey Depew (Industrialist and Politician1834-1928)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chauncey_Depew

I have intelligence, intuition, compassion and grace. I have all that I'll ever need.
~Unknown.

If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.

-Bertrand Russell

It's the most important decision I've had to make since 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.

~Arnold Schwarzenegger

~Me after hearing people complain that the class rooms in my school are cold.

Life is shaped by the people you meet every day.
~Takayuki Ikkaku.

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

Sanity is the madness of the greatest number
--Clark Ashton Smith, The Epigrams of Alastor

And I will raise up for them a plant of renown, and they shall be no more consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear the shame of the heathen any more.


-- Ezekiel 34/29

A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
~Mark Twain

Freddie, you have a nice idea, but it was written on a cocktail napkin. You didn't think it through.

"We killed the son with a couple of pieces of wood and a few nails…imagine what we could do to the father with the weapons of today."-Memoirs Of Cadetak.

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
~Bernard Bailey.

I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

~Arnold Schwarzenegger

(^^^^What is wrong with him?)

I use my mind, I value my truth, and I am never afraid to exercise the integrity of my spirit.
~Unknown.

I like that one....



" Happiness is finding change on the bottom of your purse"
Abecrombie Zombiedog .r.w 2006 c.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
~Robert Frost.

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD and all necessary things shall and will be added to you, love mummy and daddy and your brothers and sisters as you love yourself, and love Jah with all your hearts. Be obedient and kind and willing and you will live forever".


Garnett Silk.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
~Anais Nin.

Don't gain the world and lose your soul;
Wisdom is worth more than silver or gold.


Robert Nesta Marley

"Winners never quit, and quitters never win"

My Grandpa told me that one

" School, I never truly got the knack of. I could never focus on things I didn't want to learn. "

Leonardo Dicaprio

Mal: Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.
---
Mal: Hear that quiet? Means the call's already been made.
Tracey: Well, that call… that call means you just murdered me.
Mal: No, son. You murdered yourself. I just carried the bullet a while.
---
[As Tracey lies dying, the ex-soldiers finally complete the old saying.]
Tracey: When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that…
Zoë: … you find someone to carry you.

- Firefly.