Hey guys, here's a poem by me, that i wrote a while ago. any constructive criticism is appreciated!

before you even ask, the light doesnt symbolize anything in my life (unless its very subconcious and i highly doubt that).


Trudging through the darkness
And I’m wishing I could see
I travel all alone
There’s no one here but me
I’m sad yet happy all at once
As I am wandering aimlessly

Suddenly the darkness is pierced
By such a brilliant light
Hide my eyes from the blinding flash
The sudden glare is far too bright
Through shaded eyes I take a look
Evil hides in the pure white

It beckons me closer
I am drawn by every ray
I know that I must turn and run
But I can’t get away
Though I resist it pulls me in
Its call I am forced to obey

I stop fighting and give in
I’ve lost a battle of will
Each step closer to the light
Fills me with a strange new thrill
It pulls me now within it’s reach
Poised and ready to kill

I embrace the closeness of the light
More with every step I take
I’m content in this new dream
But suddenly I wake
To find this light has not saved me
But put my life at stake

My senses rush back to me
I again begin to fight
Though I fear that it’s too late
I finally break from the light
I’ve made my escape it seems
But it is no longer night

The light is always with me now
To it I’m forever bound
My old life is lost to me
Of mere wandering around
I must run to it or away
From this light I’ve mistakenly found

trippy...its all...whoa...

wow man, thats deep

Very cool TC!! I particularly like the last stanza:

The light is always with me now
To it I’m forever bound
My old life is lost to me
Of mere wandering around
I must run to it or away
From this light I’ve mistakenly found

very good!! well done

Great poem! and the possibilities of the meaning are truly endless. Nice work!

Loved it! very good!

aw thanx guys

great poem, thanks for sharing

thanx doomie

Wow..Really Good....


Wish I Could Be 9/100 Of How Good You Are

lol AC, thanx, but im not that good. Really.... everyone else on here is so much better.

I dont really even like this poem... it kinda wierds me out lol