How to Survive a horror movie

1. When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
4. Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.
5. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.
6. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go off alone.
7. If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along. Especially don't tag along if everyone's going as couples, except you're the odd guy/gal out. And if you're the gang's jokester, you may as well write up your last will and testament while you're driving with them to the place.
8. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
9. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other domicile of the dead.
10. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
11. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
12. Do not take (or borrow) anything from the dead.
13. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
14. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
15. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
16. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine or Massachusetts.
17. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
18. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, weed-whackers or any device made from deceased companions.
19. Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
20. Never, never, NEVER try to communicate with something icky because "there's so much we can learn from them".

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If your a slut leave town....the slut always dies

lol

It is simple, just don't have sex


good list dot

Dont evoke the rage of the NERD!!!

He'll come after you with a weedwhakcer or shears or pencils or belts...

never live in a small town.....

never go to investigate a strange noise.....

never hide in a wardrobe...

never run into a room with no other exit apart from the door you came in from...

You forgot the most important one: Never take a shower when things are going bad. Something kills something, and someone just finds it a good idea to go take a shower...

Girls that show boobs always die.

Don't show your boobies.

If your chased, don't hide. The monster will find you eventually.

When investigating a noise, don't leave the group to search yourself.

If you find something gross/scary, be prepared, something else will pop-up to scare you instead.

never have sex when a flesh eating virus is in your abandoned neck of the woods...n e one else see cabin fever? yeah...what the heck?

And never, I repeat never run UP the stairs! Where do they think they're going to go?

I heard it wasn't that good, but I've never actually seen it.

Dot, if it's good let us know

Ames

yeh me too but i never seem to get round to it!

1008. Pig blood is not now or ever funny.

1020. If you're a old groundskeeper, and you can hear that "little boy" calling to you, pay no attention to it. It will bring nothing but problems. Just go back to bed.

1028. If an old man with a scraggly beard tells you and your friends that you're "Doomed, Doomed!", you probably are.