Ok rules. post blonde jokes. simple. even a blonde could do it.


There were three women
a redhead
a brunette
and a blonde
they were about to be executed by means of gunfire
the executioner calles up the redhead...
executioner: "do you have any last wishes?"
Redhead: "no"
executioner: "ok. Ready, Aim..."
the redhead interupts and yells TORNADO!!!
everybody looks and she runs off
so then the executioner calls up the brunette.
executioner:" any last wishes?"
Brunette: "nope"
executioner: "very well. Ready, Aim....
the brunette interupts and yells HURRICANE!!!!!!
everyone looks and she runs away...
pissed the executioner calls up the blonde
executioner:"any last wishes?"
blonde:"yea, can i go home?"
executioner:"no..."
blonde:"fine then no"
executioner:" ok, Ready, Aim....
the blonde interupts and yells FIRE!!!!!!!

good one!!!

HAHA, that was funny !! The blonde should be thinking about what she said(an exception to other blondes).

ha, ha , got anymore?

not really, you post some

you started this topic, you post some, i expect more than one post from the originater of the topic, i want blonde jokes.....

first one was good though....

pfft fine


a blonde walks into a barber shop wanting a hair cut...
the barber sits her down, and right before going to work, he see's shes wearing headphones. he askes her to please remove them, but she freaks out and starts screeming and crying. so he says ok, ok ill work around them...

so he goes on with his work...but when he gets to the headphones he stops....
he then grabs the headphones and rips them off her head.
she does nothing.
confused he goes back to work
then a few minutes later she collapses.
after realising shes dead. he picks up the headphones and in it he hears
"Breath in, Breath out" on repeat

lol

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

How do you know when a blondes been having a bad day?

Shes got a tampon behind her ear, and she's lookin for her pencil.

poor blondes, they get nothing but a hard time, bless them

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.

''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

Bad Blondes, Whatcha Gonna Do?

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.

"Yes," says the blonde.

"Are their lights on?"

The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."

Did you hear about the blonde that put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind?

Q)Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?
A)Because they go answer the door.

Q)What do you call 4 blondes at a four-way stop?
A)Eternity

Two blondes were building a house. one saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into.

"Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?"

"Well, when i pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, i nail it it. If it is facing away from the House, it is defective and i throw it away."

"You idiot, those nails aren''t defective, they are for the other side of the house."

Ha ha ha ha ha...
Heres mine:

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a fun game.
The blonde, who is tired, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay, " the lawyer continues. "Your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references but he can't find an answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress, but he still has no answer.
Frustrated, he e-mails all his friends and coworkers, which turns out to be to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

LOL, first time i'v ever heard a smart blond joke

Three blondes were all vying for the last available position on the local police force. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you all want to be a cop, eh?"

The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and withdrew a photograph, and said, "To be a detect, you have to be able to DETECT. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars, etc." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about 2 seconds. "Now, he said, "Did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He only has one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of COURSE he only has one eye in this picture! It's a PROFILE of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

The blonde immediately shot back, "Yep! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just said to the other lady? This is a PROFILE of the man's face! Of COURSE you can only see one ear!! You're excused, too! You'd never make a good detective!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turn his attention to the last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but....". He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "Alright. Did YOU notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "Yes, I did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could tell that by looking at this picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "DUH! He has only one eye and one ear, he certainly CAN'T WEAR GLASSES!"