* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you ''like it that way.''
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is ''to go.''
* Set alarms for random times.
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of ''Sweating to the Oldies'' over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ''Do you hear that?'' ''What?'' ''Never mind, it's gone now.''
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce ''No, wait, I messed it up!'' and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog ''Dog.''
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.''
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a ''real hoot''.
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off ''in case the big one comes''.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as ''Feliz Navidad'', the Archies' ''Sugar'' or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to ''interface'' with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your ''superior mental processing.''
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant ''swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!''
* Finish all your sentences with the words ''in accordance with prophesy.''
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ''psychological profiles.''
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ''magic picture''.
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
Full Version: How To Be Annoying (A Guide)
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
haha, that's a good one
haha, that's a good one
some of these seem reeaallly familiar..... 
* Set alarms for random times.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.''
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you ''like it that way.''
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is ''to go.''
* Set alarms for random times.
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of ''Sweating to the Oldies'' over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ''Do you hear that?'' ''What?'' ''Never mind, it's gone now.''
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce ''No, wait, I messed it up!'' and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog ''Dog.''
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.''
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a ''real hoot''.
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off ''in case the big one comes''.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as ''Feliz Navidad'', the Archies' ''Sugar'' or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to ''interface'' with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your ''superior mental processing.''
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant ''swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!''
* Finish all your sentences with the words ''in accordance with prophesy.''
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ''psychological profiles.''
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ''magic picture''.
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is ''to go.''
* Set alarms for random times.
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of ''Sweating to the Oldies'' over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ''Do you hear that?'' ''What?'' ''Never mind, it's gone now.''
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce ''No, wait, I messed it up!'' and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog ''Dog.''
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.''
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a ''real hoot''.
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off ''in case the big one comes''.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as ''Feliz Navidad'', the Archies' ''Sugar'' or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to ''interface'' with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your ''superior mental processing.''
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant ''swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!''
* Finish all your sentences with the words ''in accordance with prophesy.''
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ''psychological profiles.''
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ''magic picture''.
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
:lol:quarm
As I'm looking down the list I spotted a few things I do quite regulary 
*Honk and wave to strangers. < loads of fun
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk. < A must when feeling fed up with life, I have regular contests with my children to see who can keep skiping the longest.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.'' < Perfect for dealing with Telesales.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting. < I thought everyone did that.
Very funny and thats certainly given me a few more things to do when I'm in one of those "Naughty moods" where annoying people is lots of Fun.
I most certainly shout out random numbers when someone is counting. but only to some I know, as i would quite like to keep the caps in my face and not on the street.
| QUOTE |
| *Honk and wave to strangers. |
I've spent whole afternoons with friends doing just this. I agree with Halo - it's free entertainment
I also have another one: When someone speaks to you, reply with 'I dare say' to everything while looking them slowly up and down...
| QUOTE (Althalus @ Jun 5 2003, 03:42 PM) |
| * Invite lots of people to other people's parties. * Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know. |
lol
lol I will try to do that ...
Very funny Al , but seeing as we all know who the stirrers are on the board and the stirrers are all giving advice . Here's one I did at work when in one of my quieter moods .........
Customer holding out a $50.00 note , "Could you change this for me ?"
Kismit barely looking up " sure..." takes money makes wavy gesture with hand and says , "* POOF* it's a Frog " then casually hands money back , "There you go , how's that for ya then ?
"
Co-worker exits room " I can't believe you really just did that "
I have so many more but there better in action
Customer holding out a $50.00 note , "Could you change this for me ?"
Kismit barely looking up " sure..." takes money makes wavy gesture with hand and says , "* POOF* it's a Frog " then casually hands money back , "There you go , how's that for ya then ?
" Co-worker exits room " I can't believe you really just did that "
I have so many more but there better in action
Halo...you're a demon... 
Haha, I know thousands ways to be annoying, one of my favorite is telling your friends when you lend them a movie record, or come back from the theater, "He dies at the end!"
That's one of my friends did for the movie "Leon" with Jean Reno. A few years later,when I was about to see "the Sixth Sense", he told me again "He dies at the end" but as this sentence had become an habit between us, false most of the time, I didn't believe him...
And then, after a few minutes, he added...."He doesn't die at the end, but at the beginning of the story!"
...I damned him...
Haha, I know thousands ways to be annoying, one of my favorite is telling your friends when you lend them a movie record, or come back from the theater, "He dies at the end!"
That's one of my friends did for the movie "Leon" with Jean Reno. A few years later,when I was about to see "the Sixth Sense", he told me again "He dies at the end" but as this sentence had become an habit between us, false most of the time, I didn't believe him...
And then, after a few minutes, he added...."He doesn't die at the end, but at the beginning of the story!"
...I damned him...
I'd love to have seen the look on their faces, Kismit!
How 'bout this one:
Pick a colleague who always wears a tie. Take him by the hand to the copy machine and make a photocopy of his tie.
Then fax this piece of paper to a company you do business with. Wait for the fax to go through...then pick up the phone and shout out in a panic like voice:
TURN OFF YOUR FAX!!!! [ADD NAME HERE] IS STUCK!!! TURN OF YOUR FAX!!!
hmmm.. I guess this should have been in the "How To Be Annoying At Work" thread...
Pick a colleague who always wears a tie. Take him by the hand to the copy machine and make a photocopy of his tie.
Then fax this piece of paper to a company you do business with. Wait for the fax to go through...then pick up the phone and shout out in a panic like voice:
TURN OFF YOUR FAX!!!! [ADD NAME HERE] IS STUCK!!! TURN OF YOUR FAX!!!
hmmm.. I guess this should have been in the "How To Be Annoying At Work" thread...
These are really clever & funny. Thanks for the laugh
Okay... some of these are a little silly.... but you know me... How To Be Annoying
Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for random times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
Name your dog "Dog".
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Ask people what gender they are.
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Never make eye contact.
Never break eye contact.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
And share this list with others....
HOPE YOU ENJOYED!
Nxt2Hvn
these are hilarious! Ive decided to add a few:Stand far too close to people when talking to them
Exclaim, "Thats highly unlikely" at the end of someones anecdote
Put an exclaimation mark at the end of every sentence!
Or several!!!!
Tell everyone that you are one fortieth Aborigine and spend all day playing the digeridoo and painting on rocks
Explain how things work and ignore it when people say, "yes I know"
Take photos of members of your family and use them as Christmas cards
Sit in the cinema and repeatedly exclaim, "He was much better in (insert another film actor was in )"
Tell people in graphic detail all about the chat you had in an internet chatroom.(including, "So I put LMAO!!!")
Listen to historical accounts and say, "Ah! ALLEGEDLY" to everything
They were great,keep 'em comin
| QUOTE (Nxt2Hvn @ Jan 5 2004, 09:42 AM) |
| Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. |
My dad does this! One time all of the teachers went on strike in Ontario and after 2 weeks there was talk of ending it. My dad flipped around to 3 different news stations so much that we missed it on all 3 shows. I had to call a friend and ask them if the strike was over.
Another time my dad took me and a friend to see Jurassic Park. My dad insisted we leave so we could beat the traffic when the doctors and kids were hanging from the dinosaur skeletons from the ceiling, and the raptors were chasing them. I assumed they got away unharmed, but I had to wait until the video came out before I knew how it ended.
Great Stuff!!
Am I to assume that my normal behavior is a joke to everyone else?!!!
Actually, I have done many of these, mostly to annoy others.
Actually, I have done many of these, mostly to annoy others.
Heh heh! That was funny! Now my ribs hurt!
| QUOTE |
| Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. Honk and wavee to strangers. |
Very funny!
| QUOTE |
| Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. |
My little boy does that
Cheeky
I kNoW aNoThEr ThInG wHiCH iS aLsO aNnOyInG.
| QUOTE |
| Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. |
done this in my grandparent stereo
You're quite a comedian and my friends think i'm funny.
I had to restrain my laughter before i hurt myself, like many other times, when i can't stop laughing. However, the laughter got the best of Cuda.
I had to restrain my laughter before i hurt myself, like many other times, when i can't stop laughing. However, the laughter got the best of Cuda.
| QUOTE |
| Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." |
This was really hilarious, well i thought.
| QUOTE |
| Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." |
Hope you don't mind i do this to my friends. Although, i think i might laugh before i get to say it, which will make them look at me wierd.
You know what i do?
Whenever my friends end a sentence with some sort of noun, I say "Your a (insert noun)!"
For example one of my friends was talking about rulers and at the end of it I said "Your a ruler!"
It's more funnier if the word sounds funny--duh.
========
More Hilarious Annoyances (by me)
Answer the door, but pretend to look around outside to not see the person standing in front of you.
Add items to other peoples carts in shopping centers.
When starting a conversation with a friend, yell out their names even when they're right next to you.
Answer your phone calls in another person's voice.
Answer your friends phone calls and say "Sorry, you've got the wrong house".
When you begin to reminisce with your friends, quickly laugh after you say "Do remember the time (*laugh*)" -- Taken from the TV show "Friends"
Send out Valentine Cards even when its not Saint Valentines's Day.
Respond to your friends questions or statements with "I'm sorry...I..I don't know what to say" and then begin to cry or weep.
Look at people as if your in love
Sing out of pitch while singing kereoke
Adjust your friends or other peoples picture frames even when they are adjusted
Begin to read an article or paper as if your an old person trying to read
Use a magnifying glass when trying to read something for your friends
Put your finger to your chin and pretend you're thinking even when you know the answer.
While in a conversation, move to the side and perform a soliloquy.
Post random posters on downtown walls.
Enter shopping centers and consistently ask questions about random items
Tell your friend the time, while looking at an imaginary watch on your wrist
-- Taken from other people
Sign your signiture with someone else's name.
Randomly use greetings in the middle of a conversation, like "Hello" or more off like "Thankyou".
Ask your doctor for a lollipop after an examination
Send kisses to various people
Hide from your friends when they look away
=======
Ive done a lot of those for the purpose of being annoying as well .
here are a few
Shout "THE BRAINS ARE SPEAKING!!!" every 10 minutes
Act like a monkey and when someone asks you why start acting like them .
*requires random object* stare at someone for 5 minutes and then start licking your random object , stare at them another 5 minutes while smiling .
Hug a telephone pole in public with your spouse and say "you are my frrreeeeeeeeeeeeeind"
follow someone around pretending to be stealthy but failing miserably . continue to stalk them anyways .
here are a few
Shout "THE BRAINS ARE SPEAKING!!!" every 10 minutes
Act like a monkey and when someone asks you why start acting like them .
*requires random object* stare at someone for 5 minutes and then start licking your random object , stare at them another 5 minutes while smiling .
Hug a telephone pole in public with your spouse and say "you are my frrreeeeeeeeeeeeeind"
follow someone around pretending to be stealthy but failing miserably . continue to stalk them anyways .
Oh my ... I've got a few as well.
Stare intently at someone. When they get the willies and glance at you, quickly look away.
Softly mouth the words "elephant shoes" at strangers randomly.
Flirt with an old man who is in a car with his wife. Noticeably laugh at him when he gets conked up side the head for staring. (Heinous, yes I know...)
Get into a deep phone conversation, then become side tracked watching television. When the other person notices your inattention, simply say "Oh, yeah, you're right..."
Pick your nose at the stop light.
Take your shy girlfriend to an all male review (striptease for chicks). Buy her a lap dance, then laugh at her obvious discomfort. Forever after refer to the stripper as her "sugar baby".
Stare intently at someone. When they get the willies and glance at you, quickly look away.
Softly mouth the words "elephant shoes" at strangers randomly.
Flirt with an old man who is in a car with his wife. Noticeably laugh at him when he gets conked up side the head for staring. (Heinous, yes I know...)
Get into a deep phone conversation, then become side tracked watching television. When the other person notices your inattention, simply say "Oh, yeah, you're right..."
Pick your nose at the stop light.
Take your shy girlfriend to an all male review (striptease for chicks). Buy her a lap dance, then laugh at her obvious discomfort. Forever after refer to the stripper as her "sugar baby".
| QUOTE |
| Take your shy girlfriend to an all male review (striptease for chicks). Buy her a lap dance, then laugh at her obvious discomfort. Forever after refer to the stripper as her "sugar baby". |
bad memories ?
| QUOTE |
| bad memories ? |
Actually, no. I did this to her a few nights ago. What's worse? The show preceeding this fiasco was all female impersonators. We had a pretty good laugh.
hmmm, i appear to have done most of them, half before i knoew about the list, but i do carry a copy around in my school bag. lol
i do so many annoying thing its unbelievable.
i did this one in a train,. there werent many people on but it was really funny. i was sitting next to a mate (a guy) and out of the blue i just said something rather embarrasing for him out loudly (i wont quote it because its a tad rude)
that gets people really annoyed and embarrased
great stuff.
theres too much stuff to list here, plus i cant be bothered lol
i do so many annoying thing its unbelievable.
i did this one in a train,. there werent many people on but it was really funny. i was sitting next to a mate (a guy) and out of the blue i just said something rather embarrasing for him out loudly (i wont quote it because its a tad rude)
that gets people really annoyed and embarrased
great stuff.
theres too much stuff to list here, plus i cant be bothered lol
More Hilarious Annoyance (by me)Call various names when near a large crowd, and check to see
if someone answers.
At the airport, hold a celebrity's name on a banner and see
if other people respond to this.
Speak Shakespeare to other people.
Ask different people if they've seen your pretend lost pet
Pretend to be mad at a friend and if he/she asks why you're mad,
tell him/her some far fetched reason, like "You stared at me
weird the other day, and i wanted to be mad at you today!"
Ask for the location of a building that is in your vision, to various strangers.
Return a lottery ticket and explain that you had already won one of
these and would like to get a different one.
Ask the baker decorating your friend's cake to have it say
"In loving memory _______(insert friend's name)"
When ordering donuts from a donut shop, ask them to fill in the holes
in the middle.
When renting a movie ask if you can buy it.
When purchasing items ask the person at the till if you can
have each item bagged seperately
Phone any Telephone Company and ask them "Can YOU hear me now!?"
Post "Garage Sale" signs and write someone else address on it, maybe your enemies address.
When translating for a person, say something different that what is expected.
When camping near the woods where bears are often located, place meat near neighbouring campers.
......There's more to come
You mean to tell me that I'm not being charming when I hit on telemarketing chicks when they call me?
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you ''like it that way.''
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is ''to go.''
* Set alarms for random times.
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of ''Sweating to the Oldies'' over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ''Do you hear that?'' ''What?'' ''Never mind, it's gone now.''
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce ''No, wait, I messed it up!'' and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog ''Dog.''
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.''
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a ''real hoot''.
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off ''in case the big one comes''.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as ''Feliz Navidad'', the Archies' ''Sugar'' or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to ''interface'' with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your ''superior mental processing.''
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant ''swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!''
* Finish all your sentences with the words ''in accordance with prophesy.''
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ''psychological profiles.''
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ''magic picture''.
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is ''to go.''
* Set alarms for random times.
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of ''Sweating to the Oldies'' over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* dont use any punctuation either.
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ''Do you hear that?'' ''What?'' ''Never mind, it's gone now.''
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce ''No, wait, I messed it up!'' and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog ''Dog.''
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with ''That's what YOU think.''
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a ''real hoot''.
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off ''in case the big one comes''.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as ''Feliz Navidad'', the Archies' ''Sugar'' or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to ''interface'' with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your ''superior mental processing.''
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant ''swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!''
* Finish all your sentences with the words ''in accordance with prophesy.''
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ''psychological profiles.''
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ''magic picture''.
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate ''crop circles'' in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend ''tricorder'' and ''scan'' people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
| QUOTE |
| Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. |
Theres annoying and then theres just plain nasty.
Well, at least I know how Al got to 4000+ posts.
- When someone's trying to hold a conversation with you, act like you're hard of hearing by saying "what?" after everything they say
- Yell to a passing cyclist "excuse me, your chain's flat!" and see if they're daft enough to check
I'll be back with more....
- Yell to a passing cyclist "excuse me, your chain's flat!" and see if they're daft enough to check
I'll be back with more....
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