Graveyard Humor

Be careful what you inscribe on a tombstone. Here are some funny ones!



Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.


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Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.


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Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.


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Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.


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Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767


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Russell J. Larsen buried in Logan, Ut.

Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful women,
And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a ladies riding saddle,
So I can rest in peace
between the two things I love


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In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.


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When the great judgement day arrives
and Joshua Fenton Newton does not emerge from this hole,
you will know that someone made a mistake
and buried me in the wrong hole.



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From La Pointe, Wis.

To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot 4th April 1844
As a mark of affection from his brother.


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From Burlington Vt.



She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.


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Here lies my wife:
Here let her lie!
Now she's at rest
And so am I.


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Here Lies Mary Smith
Silent At Last

those are some good ones

Those are good! I just hope my family doesen't use one of those on me .

Love them especially,

Russell J. Larsen buried in Logan, Ut.

Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful women,
And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a ladies riding saddle,
So I can rest in peace
between the two things I love

those are the best

These two are my favorites!

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.

In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.

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Those were great!!! Thanks for adding them Diebytheflyguy!!

ahahha

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

I like this one, lol

Going to be a bit like me when my time comes.

Funny! If those are real then they sure had good sense of humors!

That's a cute one!

funny and yet depressing

thats the best one ever DD

i feel soooooo bad for that little kid

i laugh at that kid

OMG!!!
Nooooo!! Not Santa!!!

yea, i killed santa.........
heres the story
http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum...ndpost&p=302948

OMG!!! I'm gonna have nightmares for months now!!
I can't believe it...... I love Christmas time!
Now I'll never get that lifesize poster of The Rock......

lol no worries! there is always another santa
you should download the song
"the night santa went crazy" by Weird Al oh thats such a happy holiday song

Tomb stones of the simpsons cast

Groundskeeper willie
He died with his boots on
but we still can't find his underwear

Apu Nahasapeemapetelon
Thank you i will come again

Krusty T. clown
a little song
a litle dance
the irs now owns my pants.

Patty and Selma Bouvie
we will love you forever
now that your dead

Police Chief Clancy Wigum
We all knew he would be shot by one of his own men
just not all of them

Somehow I don't believe you DD about Weird Al's song being a happy holiday song......... but I could be wrong....

"lol" I like that one!



"lol" That's funny!

Mayor Quimby
Born: may 3, 1945
Faked own deathj and ran to mexico with floozy
june 8, 2004

Abraham simpson
let me geuss my no good son was to cheep to put all the words on My-

Edna krabapel
if children are our future thank god i'm dead

lol its not a happy holiday song acutally its pretty gruesome, depending on which version you get

Just what I thought DD....
I'm still freaked out over seeing Santa's tombstone,
I can't take anymore sad news about him....
Poor old Santa!!! How he'll be missed!!

where did all my letters go!!!

i guess being "well rounded" and walking on the snowy tops of houses wasn't the best mix

"my other plot is a mercede's"

"lol" That's funny!