Two Irishmen in London whilst looking for work were strolling down
Oxford
Street. After walking for a few minutes, Paddy turns to Murphy with a
look
of amazement on his face and says: "Murphy, will you have a look at that
shop over there, I thought that London was supposed to be expensive but
that
shop is as cheap as chips!"

Murphy says: "Paddy you're right so you are, will you have a look at
that.
Suits £10.00, Shirts £4.00, Trousers £5.00, I think that we should buy
the
lot and take them back to Ireland. We would make a tidy profit selling
them
in Dublin so we would."

Paddy says in agreement: "Murphy that is as good an idea as you'll ever
have, but I'm pretty sure that you have to pay taxes and duty on things
like
that. The shopkeeper will never let us have them if he thinks we're
gonna
export them and make our fortune, so he won't."

Murphy thinks and says: "Paddy, I've got idea! You can do the best
English
accent out of the pair of us. You go in there and do the talking and
I'll
just stand behind you and say nothing. He'll never guess we're Irish, no
he
won't." "OK Murphy", agrees Paddy, "I'll do the talking, you just stand
there and look English."

So the two visitors to the illustrious capital city go into the shop
where
Paddy is greeted politely by the owner. Paddy then proceeds to do his
best
Cockney impression; "Awwwight Guvnor, I'll 'ave 20 of yer 'Whistle 'un
Flutes', 20 'Dickie Dirts' and 20 pairs of strides. And if yer don't
mind
I'll be paying with the 380 'Pictures of the Queen' in my 'Sky Rocket'."
Upon hearing this request from Paddy, the owner smiles, takes a look at
Murphy as well, then says to Paddy "You're Irish aren't you?" Quite
bemused.
Paddy replies, "Oh be'Jesus. Mary Mother of Christ, if that ain't me
best
English accent? How in God's name did you know that we were Irish?" The
owner replies "This is a dry cleaners".