I wanted to see how many people know corny jokes. I know a couple but this is one of the corniest I know.

One day three strings are walking down the street. It is very hot out and the strings want a drink, so they stop at the soda shop. A very big sign out-side says "NO STRINGS ALLOWED" but the first string is super thirsty so he goes inside. The string goes and gets his soda, puts it up on the counter. the man looks at the string and asks, "Are you a string?" and the string says "no" the man dosen't buy it and kicks the string out. The other strings laugh but the second string is super thirsty, so he gets on a hat and glasses and goes inside. Again the string gets his coke and goes to the counter. But yet again the man will not be fooled, and kicks that string out. The other strings have good laugh at this but they still are thirsty, so the third string comes up with an idea. He tells his friends to wrap him up in a knot and then, when he looks all twisted up, he tousels around his hair and goes inside. He grabs his coke and goes to the counter. The man looks at him and asks, "are you a string?" and the string looks up and says "Nope, i'ma frayed knot"
Pretty corny huh?

i went to my dr the other day. i told him, "some days i feel like a wigwam and some days i feel like a teepee."
the dr looks at me and says, "ah well, your too tense."

Thats a good one lol

ONce upon a time, there was a monkey named Francis. He had a post operation headache, so he took an aspirin. But it weren't no aspirin he took. It was a cyanide capsule. this was not good for him.

That hurt Moe much.

a lon time ago there was a monkey who fell from a tree, dead. many a jazzy creature of the world traveled there to see this dead monkey. This is why the chicken crossed the road.

this is for Janiel & all the other pepsi drinkers out there

Did you hear that Pepsi and Viagra are bring out a new drink?

It will be called "Mount & Do"

Moe is reminded of this one liner from elementary school " Your Mama so stupid,
She took the Pepsi Challenge and chose JIFF ! "

Q: How do you catch a runaway dog?
A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!

Q:Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work

Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle.

What do you call a big sick bird ?

- illegal

well this is an old one but still:

you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

get it...it's a mad house!!!

the rain in Spain, falls mostly on the plain....

Q:why is 6 afraid of 7?
A:because 7 8 9.

soooooo corny

lol i got a few really bad ones:

when is a door not a door?
->when the door is a jar (ajar meaning open Hahhahahaha wow that was dumb)

and....

A man and his giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking and taking shots, they both get really drunk and the giraffe passes out on the floor, the man gets up and starts to walk to the door to leave. The bartender looks and him and shouts "HEY!!! dont leave this lyin' here!!!". The man turns around and says "Its not a lion. It's a giraffe."

lol...

This happened on a tv show, that was talking to people on the street...

Interviewer: What do you do for a living?
Woman: I do handjobs.....
Interviewer: Im sorry?!?
Woman: What do you call it...petticurist....
Interview: Oh....phew....well...we're lucky you werent a hairdresser then.

*slaps self in forehead*

Whats pink and fluffy?


Pink fluff
...."no....not even a titter..hmmmpf?"

Why is a red light constantly red?
YOU WOULD BE TOO IF YOU HAD TO CHANGE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!1!!1!!111

I actully laughed! HA Im wayyyy too blonde for this...

why did the chicken ?



to get to the other side.

The corniest would be...A nickel and a quarter are standing on a bridge,the nickel jumps off.Why doesn't the quarter jump? Cause he has more cents(sense)

I just made the corniest joke ever....

Kismit walked into a Baa.....

Ok.... It doesnt have to be funny right?

wanna hear a cheesy joke?
my friend works at papa johns!

your mom is like AOL...
(so easy to use no wonder its #1)

these r pretty corny

It should have some humor in it.That one though doesn't make much sense.

What's black and white and red all over?

A skunk with diaper rash.

Q. What did the slug say to a snail??

A. Big Issueee!!!


A tortoise goes into a police station and reports being mugged by two snails....
The police officer asks the tortoise if he can give a description of his attackers and the tortoise replies " no , sorry...it all happened to quick!!!


Teddy.

what's a riddle within a riddle???


two riddles

A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!
I actually thought tht was funny first time!

Q: How do you get a witch to itch?
A: Take away the W.

Q: What's big and red and eats rocks?
A: A big red rock eater.

Heres a few really dumb ones.


Knock Knock
Who's there?
How do you spell
How do you spell who?
W.h.o.



Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


A: Frostbite

I actually laughed at the first one.

The second one was ust a little bit uhhhhhh1!

Q. Whats brown and sticky ?
A. A stick..

I laughed at that one... How wierd am I?

What do you call a boomerang that dosen't come back?

A stick.

why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

Two peanuts were walking down the street.
One was a salted.


What do you call a Three legged donkey?
A Wonkey.


How did darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
He felt his presents.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
U Just said it!!!!!!!

(The best joke ever in 83 )

whats the difference between a cat and a comma?
one has the paws before the claws and the other has the pause before the clause!

That one made me laugh...

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: You put alittle boogie in it

Woo Wee thats some funny stuff

My friend told me that about 2 weeks ago. I about died laughing. I felt so stupid for not getting it earlier!

What is round,



hard.....



and has a head on it,


and one eye?










a quarter. YES!!
that is corny joke of the day!!

a horse walked in to the bar and the bar man said
why the long face.

so stupid

whats long, hard and full of seamen?


a submarine
hehehe

Woa! That one better than mine! Yes!

No offence to blondes! I wish i was blonde....anyway, i read this today:

What do you call a blonde girl with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

Sorry again!

What do you call five blondes standing in a line?
A wind tunnel

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
A frosted flake.

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Doctor

Doctor Who?

That's right, you just said it...

[Comic Book Guy voice] Corniest. Joke. Ever [/Comic Book Guy voice]