Pick the right bank. it is important that you don't follow the lead
of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that
was no longer in business and had no money. On the other hand, you
don't want to be too familiar with the bank. A California robber
ran into his mother while making his getaway. She turned him in.

2. Approach the right teller. Granted, , this is harder to
plan. One teller in Springfield, Mass., followed the holdup man
out of the bank and down the street until she saw him go into a
restaurant. She hailed a passing police car, and the police picked
him up. Another teller was given a holdup note by a robber, and
her father, who was next in line, wrestled the man to the ground
and sat on him until authorities arrived.

3. Don't sign your demand note. Demand notes have been written on the
back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in
Pittsburgh, on an envelope bearing the name and address of another
in Detriot, and in East Hartford, Conn., on the back of a
withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account number.

4. Beware of dangerous vegetables. A man in White Plains, N.Y., tried
to hold up a bank with a zucchini. The police captured him at his
house, where he showed them his "weapon."

5. Avoid being fussy. A robber in Panorama City, Cal., gave a teller
a note saying, "I have a gun. Give me all your twenties in this
envelope." The teller said, "All I've got is two twenties." The
robber took them and left.

6. Don't advertise. A holdup man thought that if he smeared mercury
ointment on his face, it would make him invisible to the cameras.
Actually, it accentuated his features, giving authorities a much
clearer picture. Bank robbers in Minnesota and California tried to
create a diversion by throwing stolen money out of the windows of
their cars. They succeeded only in drawing attention to
themselves.

7. Take right turns only. Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in
Florida who took a wrong turn and ended up on the Homestead Air
Force Base. They drove up to a military police guardhouse and,
thinking it was a tollbooth, offered the security men money.

8. Provide your own transportation. It is not clever to borrow the
teller's car, which she carefully described to police. This
resulted in the most quickly solved bank robbery in the history of
Pittsfield, Mass.

9. Don't be too sensitive. In these days of exploding dye packs,
stuffing the cash into your pants can lead to embarrassing stains,
Clark points out, not to mention severe burns in sensitive places
--as bandits in San Diego and Boston painfully discovered.

10. Consider another line of work. One nervous Newport, R.I., robber,
while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket,
shot himself in the head and died instantly. Then there was the
case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Mass., who, when the
teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still
unconscious when the police arrived.

11. Be prepared to back up any threat. One would-be robber went into a
bank armed only with a finger in his pocket, which he tried to
pretend was a gun. Upon receiving the typically tactful note -
"Hand over the money or I blow you away" - the teller said, "I'm
sorry sir. I'm afraid I'll have to see your gun". The felon turned
round and walked out.

12. Come prepared. One day, a robber handed a note to a cashier saying
"Put $5,000 into a paper bag and don't say anything." The teller
took the note and wrote on the back,"I don't have a paper bag."
The robber fled.

these ones are new to me, but it just goes to show always hold a bank up with a banananana *cough sorry never know when to stop saying that.