I truly welcome all of your opinions and I invite them. I can take crude opinions.
I would, however, appreciate all honesty.

I have started another topic in the Writer's and Artist's Hangout section
I suggest that you check it out. It is on the front page.
It is called Love, Hate, Lust and Pain. This is poetry.

Hope to see you soon. I appreciate any feedback.

WARNING
SEXUAL CONTENT, EXPLICIT NATURE, CRUDE LANGUAGE IS PRESENT.

I am sorry, but a true artist won't change the material. Especially if it was written a few years back. It is now memorabilia

I put I believe some things 'multiple' have happened to you.

All I know is that I really like Dolly's version of the song Jolene.




We shall see what we shall see....a 'true' artist doesn't necessarily need to portray their 'work' on this forum...I go now to 'check it out'......

I knew in the back of my mind Tia that you believed me.
I am happy.

I like that song too. My best friend sings it to me almost every day. She drives me crazy

Jolene Jolene JOOoOooLEEEeeEEN.

I tried to get into your poetry Jolene, I really did, as I once had a depressive state that produced much 'depression poetry' as well. But having gotten far beyond all that....I found it difficult to even read through....

....no advice asked for....some advice offered.......


.....forget it....


ggget over it....


focus on Positive Thoughts and deny the negative ones access to your conscious mind

Peace/Out

I dont think that you read all of it. I have some positive things in there as well. I appreciate you reading what you read.

I also want to stress that I wrote this poetry in 2000 when I was living with some horrible room mates that were taking advantage of me. I had just left my insane, alcoholic husband. He was a nazi want to be and he admired serial killers and WW2.
He also decided to come out the closet after marrying me and we had just had a son together. I was seriously angry and I felt betrayel. The guy my husband tried to have sex with was the same guy that lived with me. He tried countless times to have sex with me. I later found out that he actually has Aids.
I am glad to have never had sex with that animal.

The point is, I was Was angry and I found an outlet. I feel bad that I only pay attention to my creative side whenever I go through hell. That is why the poetry is negative. I am clear headed and more mature now. I was about 16 when I wrote that poetry.
I am about to make 22 this Jan on the 4th.

Hope that this clears up any thoughts that I am at present filled with rage.

I thank you all for your votes. I just want to know how believable I am.
Here is an email address for you to check out. Ask this guy any question you like. He will be shocked to find out what your asking about. I will not inform him. I haven't talked to him in several months. He is my ex-husband, the poor guy whom experienced first hand many of the things I am sharing with you.

I beg you to not tell him on your email to him that I am sharing these things with you. Just say that you are some paranormal investigator or something.
I just don't want him calling me up to talk regarding so many things.

If he believes that you are a paranormal investigator, he will comply and freely answer your questions regarding the stories I have shared with you all.


Maybe several of you will check this out. If so and you all claim to be a paranormal investigator, he will catch on quick. I suggest that you call the
the organisation The special investigations Group.

I don't know what ever. Or just say that your my friend and that you would like to confirm things that I have told you.

Have fun. His name is Leland at Leeland@yahoo.com

He will only beable to confirm to you the things he lived with me to experience.
Examples. Flys, strange smell out of nowhere, train, screaming demon in between us,strange loud noise that hit the floor behind me before his mother died, he told me that his family heard a strange loud noise before his uncle Red died.
CONFIRM

He wasn't around when I discovered my cesarean scar. He was asleep when ever I was taken advantage of, but they played with him aswell. So he can confirm what he experienced right alongside my claims. Ask him about his 8 o'clock buddy.
He will be surprised that you ask him about that. He can confirm the broken dishes. The spilled pot on the floor, the strange thing that ran in the house out of the back washer room as I opened the door. Remeber to refresh his memory and say that it happened on the night Preston was sitting on the couch visiting him. How I screamed and how they both rushed outside to investigate.
How the TV would act up and get louder and louder.

I regret to tell you now that I think about it that he was a severe alcoholic at that time and even to this day when I REFER to something that happened he has no memory of it. I am sure that he will remeber some of these things are all of it. Maybe he was lieing to me about not remebering the bad he did in the past.

Just try it . Ask him questions. HE isn't really an internet person and he can't type fast with using 2 fingers. Still I beg you to ask him.

feel free to add comments as well

I believe that Jolene has the experience/memory of the happenings.

I voted that I'd have to have lived with you to tell. But allow me to say this; if you don't mind..After all the trauma you've apparently been through it doesn't surprise me that you'd have negative paranormal experiences; or at least be absolutely convinced you have..
Stress and sorrow and guilt and the like can play havoc with a persons' subconscious to the point where physical things can happen to you. It may have even affected your ex; as he sounds like he's got plentyof problems of his own..
It may seem a platitude;but I would urge you seek therapy or psychiatric help if it's at all possible. We've even had a person or two on this very site whose ghostly visitations stopped after beginning conventional therapy. Remember the subconscious mind can effect the physical body if the triggering stressor is great enough. And honestly if you've been on the level about your problems; it might be more than enough to trigger full audio and aural hallucinations..
Please don't misunderstand though; I'm not calling you a nut-job. I'm just saying that sometimes what seems to be an external force can be traced to our inner selves..

Thank you so much for believing me. I am a very sincere person in all that I share with all of you.
I have a full life and I don't always have the time that I would like for everything I LOVE to do.
I do; however, take the time to share my experiences with you. I want to let everyone know. I want for people to be more aware of how prevalent these things are. This to me is a phenomena that deserves attention, and less scrutiny.

But, one thing is for sure. I enjoy sharing my experiences with you all. I feel better when I inform others of what is out there. I feel better, if I am understood.
That is all women want after all. Thats why we choose to talk about things. To solve problems.
I am a talker, I get relief in talking about things and being proactive, in such a way as to solve issues.

I thank all who actually believe my personal revealings.

I also seek advise and help. I do get this from the kind hearted individuals whom
lend me a piece of their heart. When I receive advice on what I can do, I view this as human beings lending a hand to extended family. After all, we all originate from the same two individuals whom gave birth to our existence.
Like Frog, he gave me advise regarding the strange occurrence of thousands of flys.

I appreciate all votes, both negative and positive ones.
Thank you

[quote=Falco Rex,Dec 22 2004, 11:44 AM]
I voted that I'd have to have lived with you to tell.



JOLENE'S REPLY
That is perfectly understandable. I am glad that you shared your opinion with me.
I also appreciate your advise. This is sound advise that you gave me.
I do wish that I could absolutely prove myself. It really hurts to have so much of something interfering in my life and not be taken serious by so many.
It's like having pain and every doctor thinks your nuts, because of not being able to find reason for it.
The fact is, pain cannot be proven. It is just something felt and doctors can only rely on what the patient is telling them.

What I am saying is, I have no real proof to back up my life of experiences. I only have a strange picture of a ghost flying over my son Christmas morning 2002.
In the pic, you can clearly see a woman's face and her hair. Her body is covered with what appears to be a long withered garment. She is white everywhere.
I showed the picture to everyone in my class. I didn't say anything. They noticed her too. After everyone got excited over it, the two snobs in the class wanted a look. So they did, and both denied it. I would like to ad that they both think that they know everything and they both don't believe in God.
My conclusion, you see what you allow yourself to see. If something is just to difficult to except, you will not. Since they both believe that they come from monkeys, I can see how admitting to a ghosts existence would blow their beliefs aside.





FALCO REX'S STATEMENT
But allow me to say this; if you don't mind..After all the trauma you've apparently been through it doesn't surprise me that you'd have negative paranormal experiences; or at least be absolutely convinced you have..




JOLENE'S REPLY
With excitement I reply to you. I hope that you find this.
In the above sentence, I say YES.
This is absolutely possible. Any person in their right mind would agree.
I have been through trauma. Yes, I do believe with all of my mind and heart that
I have truly experienced the things that I have told all of you.

I also want to add that not only I, have experienced this, but my mother, sister,cousin, neighbors,middle school friends, high school friends, ex-husband, present husband, and my poor little 6 year old son as well.

Initially, I felt like I was going insane. I at that time didn't have the comfort of finding out that these things aren't a figment of my imagination. Until other people started seeing, hearing and basically experiencing weird phenomena as well.

I seem to be the center of this things focus of attention. It does things only for me to find and it takes advantage of the time that I have alone. Thats when I have experienced many things strange and uncomfortable.





FALCO REX'S STATEMENT
Stress and sorrow and guilt and the like can play havoc with a persons' subconscious to the point where physical things can happen to you. It may have even affected your ex; as he sounds like he's got plenty of problems of his own..



JOLENE'S REPLY
Yes, stress is definitely present in my life. As is in everyone's. I agree with you
with the addition that some people can handle more stress than others, while many buckle under the pressure. I have much pressure. I also have sorrow. I guess the sorrow that is normal. I wish that my father had not died before I had the chance to actually see him for the first time.ect...

GUILT,,,YES. I am too hard on myself with my ridiculous standards of what a human being should be. I am forgiving of others and yet, not of myself.

Regarding my ex, he had lost his mother and began drinking like a fish to cope.
Ever since then, he was hooked, chemically.





FALCO REX'S STATEMENT
It may seem a platitude;but I would urge you seek therapy or psychiatric help if it's at all possible.





JOLENE'S REPLY
Thank you for your honest advise. I am glad for it. I have recently sought help.
I felt like I might actually be loosing my mind. I started having extreme fear and
I couldn't sleep. I could feel something in my room. So did my husband. We were uncomfortable. I felt something jump into me. I felt cold from head to toe. It mostly was on my shoulders. And the fear,....O' God, was unbearable. I preferred death over it. I can never explain the severity of what happened that night in late October of this year 04.
I went to the emergency room and I was seen by 3 psych doctors. They all agreed that I am sane, that I am of sound mind. I am in college and I am married. How can a completely sane man be happily married to an insane individual? Get my point?
Well, they concluded that I must be having some thyroid problems.
I will skip over explaining all the details.
Bottom line, I am taking medication to stop the accute panic attacks until my next appointment for thyroid testing.
It has been two weeks now and I have been on the medicine. I did have a small panic attack last night. My heart just was beating 148 while I was falling asleep, until I noticed that my body was rocking back and forth with each heart beat. I got up and I WAS EXTREMELY dizzy. I called a nurse and asked her what I should do.
She said call 911 that I MAY PASS OUT. I am taking medicine that slows down the system and it speeding like that is and was unusual. I was also in bed relaxed falling asleep.
The only catch here is. I felt something jump into me from behind me. It made me cold, I could feel it. I tried to pray and the fear of praying was immense. I couldn't take it. Whenever something jumps into me, it's comparable to someone dumping a five gallon bucket of cold water on my back.
This sounds crazy, and I am aware of this. I do want help. I did tell all psych doctors everything that I believe and have been through. I have seen 5 in all.
They all have diagnosed me as simply under stress and that my thyroid could be the reason.
I am just trying to be free of these problems and go about my life loving my angel son and sweet husband. I am a full time student and I LOVE IT. I have a firm belief in God and in his love for me. When I am not being jumped into by some wicked thing, I can pray just fine; and feel normal.

Iam a normal person, who laughs and is very funny in my social life. I have many talents that I enjoy and I HAVE FUN. I just have a dark secret that is trying to
terrify me into isolation.





FALCO REX'S STATEMENT
We've even had a person or two on this very site whose ghostly visitations stopped after beginning conventional therapy.



JOLENE'S REPLY
I am glad for that individual's luck.





FALCO REX'S STATEMENT
Remember the subconscious mind can effect the physical body if the triggering stressor is great enough. And honestly if you've been on the level about your problems; it might be more than enough to trigger full audio and aural hallucinations..




JOLENE'S REPLY
I again agree, and wish that were the case in all of the things I've gone through.
I don't ,however, believe in what is called mass hallucinations.
Other people in the room with me have seen the same things that I HAVE.
Hallucinations don't pee all over your friends. They don't throw pictures across the rooms either. They don't throw every single dish and utensil on the floor either.
They don't slam doors and levitate you from the bed. Hallucinations tend to happen while your on some drug or awake. What about when you are sleeping and some evil foul thing comes up in between two people and screams the most loudest evil sounding sound ever imaginable.
Hallucinations don't play your keyboard in front of two witnesses.
If someone is having some hallucination, would this include scaring a dog who just happens to be in the room also? My dog would actually get petted by some unseen thing. I could see her fur being pushed down along with her body being pushed down slightly. Her eyes would show content when she was petted. Just like any dog. And yet, so many other times my dog would just start barking at the air, looking at something that I couldn't see. I could feel something in the room, but I COULDN'T SEE IT. My dog would shiver in fear and wimpier at times while starring at something in the air.

I know that I sound rude. I really don't mean any rudeness at all. If I could tell you this in person, I would beable to say this in the way I truly feel. Which
is pleadingly sincere. Please don't take what I am saying wrong and as cruel.
This is where the written communication over the internet fails to express human emotion.

I also want to add that I didn't take offense to what you had to tell me.

My best wishes to you. You sound like you are a professional or maybe a psych doctor yourself. Could be

*clicks empty option


Nothing there really suits my opinion...

Thank you Jolene; forr your detailed and considered responses. As someone who hears "Well, if you don't believe me you can go to hell" twenty times a week, I appreciate it when someone's willing to break things down for examination..
Not that I can fully believe you without knowing you personally,of course. But I'm far more willing to lend some creedence to you knowing that you have indeed sought some help from conventional medicine and modern psychiatry. Also knowing you aren't a bored 14 year old. Mothers and wives usually have better ways to spend free time than making up stories on the net. They crave peace and quiet more than attention..
Am I a professor or psychiatrist? No Ma'am..I'm just a part-time Ornithologist and a full-time Box-maker..heh-heh..

how do i feel?

bloated

What is your opinion. I am sorry for obviously not making enuff choices available
for everyone's feeling.
And, the blank choice was a glitch in the program, because you are only allowed ten choices. I have ten.

I said that I'd have to live with you. Though I tend to be thankful that nothing of the sorts have ever occured to me or anyone I know. You never truly understand unless you experience for yourself and that I prefer not to experience. Best wishes and happy thoughts

THANK YOU MISTER BEE

Wow....I am glad that you believe me.
I did however seek help through doctors. I guess that you missed that. I wrote alot about that on this posting.

I am interested in what that person experieced.

[quote=Anson_Kail,Dec 25 2004, 01:49 AM]
I can't remember much of what she told me other than she had this 'thing' that would come and sexually abuse her even to the point of what she equalled to rape. She also said she's wake up with scratches and things on her body. I remember my ex-sister-in-laws Mother trying to help her with this. Other than that, I'm sorry to say my mind is a blank. This was many, many years ago.



Jolene's reply
When you went to see a Doctor, what did he/she say about your claims? Sorry if you posted it and I missed it along the way. Did they try you on medication? Suggest hospitalization? Believe you?

To my surprise, they did believe in me. They were very worried for me for when I would return to that environment. I was sitting feet away from their holding room for patients waiting to be admitted in the psych institute.
They found me to be normal and just scared of what I claimed.
I seem to get frightened at night. Only at night.
I must have some pinned up memories of something that happenes to me at night.

They believed me, I guess, because sitting with me, they could see that I conduct myself. I don't appear ill. I also have the ability to show them proff of my claims. I have many witnesses. Witnesses whom have seen what I claim.

I was ready to caugh up numbers for them to call. They believe that I have a true haunting, and that this is causing me great stress. I will soon get my thyroid checked and that will show what kind of stress I have been under.



Anson_cail's statement
As for your ex-husband..... you said you were sixteen when you wrote the poetry. Were you married and going through all of this you told about with the 'closet hubby' that young?


Jolene's reply
Correct. That was an emotional mountain for me to climb without the experience to handle it. Although I did.


Anson_cail's statement
I'm truly sorry for your pain Jolene...because even if you are NOT telling the truth, it's obvious you have some major problems. Again, I wish you well and my prayer is that everything good will come to chase everything bad away from you.

((( hugs to you sweety )))


Jolene's reply
You are different..... you have a beautiful heart. I woke up to reading your messages and they were the positive thing I will use to start my day.

[quote=Anson_Kail,Dec 25 2004, 01:57 AM]
About the Doctors... I went back and re-read.. found what you said regarding all this....

Please forgive me and don't take me wrong, but does mental/emotional illness run in your family? I'm not saying or even implying that you are ill in this way, but it needs to be ruled out.


Jolene's reply
My mother was attacked or shall I say targeted by these things aswell.
Over the years, she became an alcoholic in order to deal with the nightmares and
physical torment.
My mother met my dad in AA. They were both going through such a tough time together. After five years of trying to quit, my father started doing drugs again.
He was abandoned by his mother at the age of 14 and he ran the streets with gangs that sold and did drugs. Naturally being around that and the pressure to do it along with the pain of a horrible mother, that cooked up a perfect recipe for becoming a drug addict.
My father was quite young for all of this. Yet after meeting my mother, he introduced these things to her. She believed him when he said that they were birth control pills. After some time, she too was doing some of the drugs my soon to be father did. As soon as she realised that something was wrong and that she became ill after awhile without the pills my dad was giving her, she sought help and left him. He came back begging her and he supposably quit. Two years went by and they had me. One year and a half and they had my sister.
My mother found drugs hidden in his truck, and left him.

In both my father's youth and my mother's youth, they both did drugs, and were both alchloics.

I explained these things to the doctors and they told me that being an alcoholic is one of the mental illnesses such as a psychotic.

So, my mother started drinking because of the experiences she would have.
Later in life, she stopped drinking and started having panic attacks due to what these demons were doing to her. She sought help and got medicine to stop the panic attacks. Then when I was just a year old, she was shown a vision that her sister was going to die a horrible death. This drove her insane. She was put in a hospital for mental illness. And just like she said to everyone, her sister died a horrible painful death. My mother has been put through tooo much.

It eventually put her mind beyond the realms that we travel.

Ever since that event, she has been on constant medication.

I told this to the doctors and I told them of my father who died in 97. His death could have been prevented if he would have bought his insulin instead of drugs.

I haven't seen him since I was two and a half years old. l was spared that much.
In my conversation with the psych doctors, I expressed my extreme fear of being driven insane like my mother was. I am terrified that I may become like her. I asked that, will I become insane or am I mentally ill already, because of my mother and my father? I said, does this run in my genes?

Their reply was, your mother and father being mentally ill has nothing to do with your situation. They did street drugs and were both alcoholics. That different people can handle more stress than others can.
I said " does my chances of being mentally ill increase with parents who were?
All three of them wanted to answer at the same time, though the man did. He said, my chances are less than a fraction of one percent higher than the whole population in comparison. That my parents mental state has nothing to do with my mind.
I am not and never was an alcoholic and I never did street drugs. I am a straight forward respectable person and they could see this.

I am and was relieved in their words regarding my mind. I was truley scared that I was becoming my mother. I regret what happened to her. I will do what ever I can to stop what ever attempts these spiritual creatures are making to drive me crazy.
So this was ruled out.


Once that is in deed ruled out, I'd suggest you get someone experienced in the paranormal to help you, because if you are not mentally messed up now, there is no doubt that these happenings could later mess your mind up.

My husband is currently searching for help with professionals regarding this phenomena. He too knows that I am fine and that something is in the house. He has experienced this personally. He also is upset that I have a cesarean scar and
not a second child to show for it. That is why I started a topic called Aliens, sexual experiences and Demons. I am truley confused and upset. I have these things that happen to me and I wish to know why.


I don't know what to tell you Jolene. As I said, I believe you because you say it happened to 'you'...and all personal experiences should be respected even if I've never had the same ones. And if I DID, then they would no longer be 'personal' for you.

I do wish you the best.

Thank you for your kindness.
I will try to post more, because I HAVE A LOT TO SAY.

Jolene. Please avoid anyone who claims to be "experienced" in the paranormal. Nobody can be experienced in something that can't be defined, categorized or tested reliably by science. The best you'll get are "Psychic Healers" who will take your money or "Ghost-Hunters" who will come in; conduct an investigation; and leave without doing anything useful for you..
The best cure for what's going on with you lies within your own head. The Human will is the strongest force on Earth. Use it and you will be free. After reading most of what you've written in your threads, I have my own theory on what's happening with you; although frankly, I've not enough time to type all of it now. If you are interested; though; let me know and I'll PM you. I've a theory about you and if I'm right I'm willing to bet that all your paranormal experiences could be gone within 6 months if you wish that to be the case..

Dear Falco Rex, I can't express how amazingly happy I am to hear your theory about what is happening to me and my family. I do desire greatly to know what you think. I have been waiting for a long time to get this from someone. I have been asking why and searching for answers for years. I hope your ideas and opinions shed light on something so very important to me. I thank you for that

I thank you for your good advise regarding the paranormal investigators. I will try to capture proof on my own and I will by faith in God stand for my life. The thing that they are trying to scare me out of living.
They are now messing with my head and I get so scared at night. The doctors see no reason for my fright. I am just disgusted with this all. I wish that something were wrong with my head so that the doctors could just give me a pill and the problem would go away.

I know sticking things out with my head and heart will be tough. Just last year, I started having a Bible study in my house every Saturday and things started going wrong everywhere.
My life went to hell. I am talking about everything going wrong at the same time. My marriage, my son, my health and finances. My mother believed that I was a witch. Crazy things started happening around the house and I was alone to deal with it. The entity that has been in my life has even tried many times to separate me and my husband.
The same night me and my husband was upset and on the verge of separation, we both sat down on the sofa and said, " things feel weird, like everything is a dream, nothing makes since anymore. I said " I told you about the flys and I warned you about marrying me. "
He said " I know, the flys were a definite sign of something in our lives. I don't think that it wants us together." I agreed and we realised that it doesn't want us together and we must get through this. Then all of a sudden, my husband smelled something awful. He started complaining about a horrible smell in the house. I couldn't smell anything. First of all, I don't want to forget to tell you that my husband is Muslim. I am Christian.

I was very close to God and living my life as close to his righteousness as possible. I didn't yell at my husband and I never cursed. I just kept praying to my God and asking him to protect me and guide me in all of my decisions.
Meanwhile my husband was almost ready to vomit, do to the smell that only he could smell. He had previously been praying on his religious rug facing Meca, wearing a brand new pure religious prayer suit. While holding the Koran and sitting on the sofa next to me. He had all of his Gods protection, yet he kept smelling this awful odor. Me.... well, I started smelling flowers. A beautiful smell. This was around 1:00 A.M. in the morning and no window was open. No way the smell could appear to be two different smells at the same time.
Then my husband looked towards the kitchen and he started whimpering in immense fear. He started praying out loud and he looked towards his Koran in his hands and kept praying. I could feel something very evil and powerful in the room next to him and I. He jumped up and grabbed a prayer card. This prayer card was the words Mahummed said himself to say when in need of Ala's protection from evil. I watched as my husband started reading this prayer card he believes in. I could feel his fear. He was soo scared and very desperate all of a sudden. I couldn't grasp what was happening at that time. Everything was happening so fast.
He started reading and all of a sudden his voice changed back and forth, from his voice to another voice. He kept rocking back and forth and I could feel my heart started pumping extremely fast. I admediately got up and just walked away to catch my breath. I found myself facing my booksack and I realized that I walked to it to get the Bible I kept in it. I grabbed it and went into the kitchen. I could hear my husband going crazy and I needed a glass of water to deal with my heart. I took one sip and I new something evil was in the house attacking us. I at that time lost all of my faith. I felt completely helpless and I didn't believe that God could save us. These thoughts were happening so very fast. I then opened up the Bible and just looked at the pages and all a sudden, all of my faith was restored. I remembered what I had previously learned about God's personality and how he truly loves us and how he has said with his very voice that he is there when ever we need him. I felt strong again. I took another sip and glimpsed at my poor husband in the living room as he was screaming in other languages he never speaks. I saw him face down in the sofa, his body was stiff and yet I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw him. His body was being punched up and lifted from the couch. I could hear my husband's voice screaming for help in desperation and at the same time I could hear another voice, an evil one, screaming wicked things. Things that I couldn't understand.

I stood there shocked at what I was seeing. I could see my husband's legs coming up and his mid section raising up. His body was moving in ways that are impossible. Against the laws of gravity.

I said " O' my God, my husband is possessed."

I ran up to him and started praying out loud to my God. I felt that I was forcing my beliefs on my husband and I didn't want to do this. I still did pray over him. I did the only thing that I knew that would help him. I prayed loudly and I begged Almighty God to help us. I know his name is Jehovah and his son's name is Jesus.
So I kept saying those names. I pulled on my husband and I couldn't get him up. \
I couldn't believe how hard it was to make him turn around. As I was pulling on him and praying, the voices started screaming. I could feel that they were screaming at me. I called out Jehovah and at the same time I turned over my husband. His face was so unbelievably strange and he was in torment. I felt so
amazingly shocked and overwhelmed. I started praying again and asking God to help me. To help us. To have mercy on my husband. I then realised that I had to get that false book out of his hands. I had to pry it from his frozen grip. Meanwhile his body was frozen and still his body was jumping in unusual ways. I was on top of him to stop him from shaking the best that I could. I eventually got that book out of his hands and I again prayed, saying " Almighty Jehovah through Jesus I beg you to our sins and give me the strength to save my husband from this thing.
I prayed so very hard and yet the yelling got louder and louder. I couldn't bare it. I saw that the prayer card was in my husband's hands and I fought him to get it away. His hands were like ice.
I finally got it from his grip and I again started the prayer. I screamed as loudly and strongly as I could and I asked God for the help to rid of this thing.

All of a sudden, my husband exhaled and his body relaxed as he slid down the sofa. I started praising Almighty God and I held my husband and he was alert and in shock. He just looked at me in amazement.
I asked him " Where was your Allah? Where was your God? He didn't save you. Jehovah and Jesus did. I made him realize that even though he had the Koran in his hand that this evil thing possessed him. Even though he had Mahommud's prayer quote reading it for protection. Even though he had his prayer rug 4 feet from him. Even though he was wearing his holy prayer suit and just got through praying to Allah, he still became possessed. He knew what I was getting at. I told him that Jehovah didn't have to save him. That you were worshipping his enemy, the devil in disguise. That you don't have him and his protection. I showed him that he got possessed and that it wasn't me that got possessed. That I was safe, because I have the true God. The one who loves his creation and is willing to protect his creation.HE COMPLETELY AGREED. HE said it himself. HE then said " Everything from my head to my toes are now for Jehovah and Jesus."

I said " Now lets pray to the only true God....together. "

We held hands and we both prayed to Almighty God Jehovah through Jesus and we were safe. Although my husband was shaking like a leaf and shivering everywhere. He told me of how he saw something evil in the kitchen coming towards him. He said that he could feel it coming in him and that he just grabbed his prayer card and started praying. That he doesn't remember anything after that. I guess a medical doctor would say that he just had a seizure. I say a seizure doesn't make you ice cold and it doesn't make you float above the couch rising and descending. It doesn't make you all of a sudden have the ability to speak different languages at once in different voices while your normal everyday voice is in the background moaning in fear.
My husband weighed 170 at that time and I weighed195 or 200. I am not a weak woman. I grew up fighting with not girls, but boys. I punch not slap. I have strength. I grew up bench pressin 75 lbs at the age of nine.
I beat up my abusive 250lb ex-husband for throwing me into another room.
The point is, I am pretty strong. I am not scared of anyone human. I know many ways to protect myself and I had the toughest time just simply turning my poor husband around to see his face. I WANTED TO SEE IF HE WAS ACTUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE VOICES SCREAMING AT ME.

A medical doctor will never experience these things. These evil spirits do not want the whole world completely believing in them.

I later that night, or should I say later that early morning, watched my husband gather all muslim belongings he once held as his belief and put it all in a box. HE TOOK EVERYTHING OUT OF THE HOUSE AND I GAVE HIM A BIBLE. He is now a CHRISTIAN and he has never been possessed again.

I wanted to share this with you and I know that some of you will simply not believe this. I am too surprised. I did think about why this happened and my conclusion is, they could not separate us and got angry, so it decided to jump into my husband. I can not tell you all of the things that they did to separate us.
But I will tell you the obvious thing which is.... no matter what they did, our love and communication kept us together through it all. The end was God who saved my husband. Since that time, my husband has read the Bible through and through twice. I will keep on being a good example for him and I thank God for giving me the strength to do as the disciples did when casting out demons.
I just still can't believe that I did what so many people will never experience.

I am now experiencing possessions. I know this because I feel something in the room and then it jumps into me. I feel cold everywhere and I get this incredible fear. Fear that is soo very dreadful that I wish to die in order to escape from it. I admediately pray. I get even more terrified when praying to God. I feel the fear it feels when it is inside me. It docent want for me to pray. Sometimes I CAN NOT PRAY. I just deal with this unexplainable horrible nightmare.

When I am free, I do pray. I am not close to my God anymore. I need to again crawl to him and be forgiven for my sins. This will happen, SOON. Then I believe that things will get hard for awhile, due to the evil spirits not wanting to exit my life. I will remain strong and again win. I will gain back my life and I do believe things will clear out. I just have to battle out everyday.

I am sorry, I was just thinking that may be possible because of the candle thing.
It sounds nice and I am a fan of candles. I just know alot of witches use candles to do things. I was curious thats all.

I do wish that all these things were in my head. I also know that you have read alot of the things that I have posted. I wish that these things were the product of some extreme insanity. I could be medicated and then mostly relieved of these things.

I just feel sometimes like

I wish that I could just escape my body and be somewhere else.
I feel like I am a prisioner in my own skin.
Sometimes death looks like a trip to Disney World compared to living through this all.
I do not wish to die though. I am instead fighting for my life and still,....sometimes this becomes tiresome.

I get soo terrified at night. I wish that I could share the depth of what I am going through with someone who goes through the exact same things.

My theory is that ......I get so scared at night because I have suffered enough things at night. Like being very possibly abducted and definatly messed aroung by my child hood *friend* the demon.

I just feel like jumping up and running for my life at night. I feel so anxious at night. I feel like I am going to die from being soo helpless.
I lay awake in bed and feel like I am forgetting something. Like I forgot something extremely important. I am missing something. I feel like something is gone from me. I can not even explain this in our language and give it justice to how I feel. I feel like apart of me is dead. Like I am going to join it soon.
Then all of a sudden I get this extreme feeling of abandonment.
I feel soo lost and alone. This only happenes at night. I cant help this. I fight it and distract myself and do things.
I have dreams of having a baby, a younger one than my son.
I get these sometimes and they feel so sickning real.

I am sorry if reading this dampens your emotions, I just feel that maybe someone is going through the same things and just maybe they might read this and contact me. I don't know what to do. I just guess that everything will be alright after I get close to God again.

WOW, you are so nice.
I bet you have many trustworthy friends.
I am turning 22 In January.

I do not have many nice things to say about my past.
Yes I was abandoned several times as a child.
I did cover this with my doctors and I really see how my past is coming back to haunt me.

I was abandoned mostly by my mother. She once kicked me out of the house when I WAS 10 YEARS OLD.
I was terrified and sick. She was so angry that she shouted several things like how she wished that she could have aborted me. As she through out all of my clothes in front of the neighbors.
My sister was her favorite, she could do no wrong. I was raising her primarily.
Even though my sister was to blame for the broken clock, my mother put me out.
My sister wanted to come with me. She was 8 years old. SHE chose me over mom. She wanted to be with her mommy. I was like her real mommy. I dressed her, cooked for her, did her clothes, defended her from everyone at school that tried to hurt her. I basically took care of her in many different ways.

Well......she went with me, even though she knew that I had nowhere to go.
We walked for three days, eating nothing and asking neighbors to drink water. We were to ashamed to tell them that our mother through us away.

Some how, by God, we found our way to our aunt's house. We stayed there for another 3 days. She cared for us. The previous nights had been cold and we had 2 large chow dogs that would follow us and sleep with us at night in the woods.
We were both speechless and horrified about the whole thing.
My aunt didn't call anyone. She didn't call my mother. I guess that she was waiting to see if my mother would call everyone to find her children.
This didn't happen. After the 3 days, my aunt finally called her. We were sent back. My mother slapped me in the face for running away. I didn't . She told everyone that I did that to cover herself.

I remember these things and I feel generally okay about them. I have surprised memories about my child hood. I know this, because even this memory came to me when I was about 18 years old. I go through bad things and sometimes I somehow forget that they ever existed. I guess that's how I deal with these things.

I have been abandoned many times. My mother dropped us off at some relatives house to live with them even though they didn't want us. They were cruel to us. They treated us like trash. I to this day love them very much and I do have fond memories of them too. Even though things didn't start off well. Eventually they were somewhat loving to us. I guess we grew on them alittle.
I do, however remember that horrible feeling of being alone and responsible for my sister.

My mother took us back and we didn't want to go. We were settled in that environment.
We felt comfortable there, but we left.
My mother began working out of town and left us with many different strangers.
I never felt comfortable. Some would leave us outside and not allow us to come in their house. I remember being hot and thirsty. This was in Louisiana, where it gets hot in summer. We had to drink water from the water hose and use the restroom outside alot. I hate this. I hate that we were treated like this. How can human beings do this to children. These things even happened before I was ten years old.

SOOO MANY THINGS. I am surprised at what my mind holds.
I recently remembered this and it left me with this sick feeling in my gut.
I just deal with it. I just received a call from my doctor and scheduled an appointment to see a therapist.
I am interested in what will come out of this.
I am sorry if I have saddened anyone. I hope not. I also just want to share what I am thinking.

I also would like to add that my mother skipped out on us on
night around 1:00 A.M.
We had just moved to Houston and we were paying a rent that we weren't used to yet. Money was tight. I just got a job. A job that was cheating me out of a fair check. I was struggling to actually get the company to fix their wrong estimates.

I was at that time paying my mother a $100.00 dollars per week to watch my
3-year-old.
She was just reckless with money. I had to catch the bad checks that she would write and pay the stores in cash. Running to K-Mart and Wal-Mart after work at the first of the month was a regular thing for me. I had to ask for her check back to give them cash instead. I knew that if I didn't that I would have to pay the $25.00 unsificiant funds fine. I would get stuck with paying for her shopping spree anyway, so I was atleast saving the $25.00.

She skipped out on us, without warning. I was 17 and my sister was 14 and a half at that time. We watched her leave in a Taxi. I felt so bad and scared. Being in Houston to take care of my son and my sister again all by myself and this time with no one to care for my son while I worked.

My mother left with her money and we were broke. Me and my rip off job and my sister too young to work.
All kinds of things played a part in making this a WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE.

The lease was soon going to be expired and my mother was the one on the lease to update it. I couldn't unless my mother sighned for it.
We were in trouble. Big trouble. ABANDONED AGAIN.

I remember watching her being driven away. I actually passed out. I remember waking on the road and my sister standing over me.
Her seeing this was a scare for her. I knew she looked up to me to carry her and for her to see me pass out , hu, I guess wasn't so comforting.

Long long story short we survived.

I laugh at myself sometimes. I see my bleeding heart and I slam the door on it just to beable to deal with the normal everyday responsibilities of life. These things take up most of my time anyway.

I think that it is good that I will be actually paying attention to these things after all. I deserve the attention for my inner self.

I will be gone for awhile. I am going to have my computer worked on. I HAVE 192 VIRUSES. This will take some time. I also have to get better protection.

Hope all are well. By

Yes, I completely believe her

i voted id have to live with her to see for myself. i don't want to pass any judgements unless i see for myself

Dear Jolene,

You seem so sincere it is very hard not to believe you. It does not really matter what we think. It matters what you think. That is what I think. You sound sane to me. If you can reach the point of knowing that they exist why would they not treat us as we treat other animal species here on earth. It really is quite logical from a scientific perspective. They do to us what essentially we do to other "less intelligent" animals, for the sake of science. It is somewhat random at times, just like testing scientifically. We have controlled testing situations and random.

It is not neat or fun or anything like that. Imagining what it is like for animal testing here, well, I imagine it is similar to being abducted. I am not a animal rights activist but probably should be. If I had been abducted I might but would most likely be so consumed with my own trauma, I would not. Very hard to say.

I think they have come and done this for years, in many fashions, for many purposes and they have made you a part of that. A specimen if you will. I would never want to be one and feel sorrow for those that are because it is (seems) so highly traumatic. I have had dreams and seen experiences and read many books however, no book could ever really truly replace the knowingness that I have about it all. I know they exist - in many forms and are MUCH more intelligent than ourselves. Now THEY use their brain....lol. They are scary. We know relatively nothing about it all and that is the scariest!

Not to make light of your situation, because it would be a violation. You have been violated and again, it does not matter that I believe you. As for the rest of it, the sounds, the visions, the "feelings", the dreams. Trauma...that is what it is. From a freakin' traumatic experience. And, I am guessing, the more conscious of it you are, the more different the experience will be and the more aware you will become, unless they are just done? I am guessing this will be with you for the rest of your life so done is very very relative. Less traumatic possibly as you gain knowledge? That is the reason we are here, to learn. So I would suggest "learning" as much as you can. You are dealing with it quite well and I am glad that they now have these types of forums for you.

I have not seen the - SEXUAL CONTENT, EXPLICIT NATURE, CRUDE LANGUAGE IS PRESENT - maybe I am missing a link or something but so far you seem pretty sane...lol. Insane is such a relative thing. So, if you are making this all up then shame on you....

Tyce

Um, what exactly is going on, what did jolene do?

Edit: Stupid question of the day

[quote=taustin,Jan 11 2005, 04:55 PM]
I have not seen the - SEXUAL CONTENT, EXPLICIT NATURE, CRUDE LANGUAGE IS PRESENT - maybe I am missing a link or something


This is Jolene, I am using my school's computer now. I bought a brand new computer and only used it for less than 6 months, and it got fried. I now have another one. This time I will completely avoid the internet. I had Norton security and still this happened.

So, I had to leave for awhile. I am Jolene. I will use this name for now on.


My reply to you regarding the warning, sexual content, explicit. This was my informing everyone that I started posting some poetry. Poetry that was a little wild to say the least. I wrote it when I was under pressure from all extremities.

I then removed all of the poetry so that I could get everything copy righted. As soon as I actually do this, I will gladly put it up for you all to read. This will be a peak into my mind. The mind that I had when I was 16 years old.

I just turned 22 this month January. I feel like I am 38 or something.

I thank you for your message. It was insightful. I agree.

I really dont know what this is about, so I just voted randomly

Hi there, it is Jolene. I am sorry for not responding sooner. It has been a year now. I finally found my old postings to respond to. I also, for a time, lost my pass code to log in as Jolene to check my messages.

I really want to know your theory about what has bothered me. I ,over the years, have noticed a pattern. For months, these things bother me severly. Whatever they are. Then they sort of back off. Weeks will go by when I am free. Then I am in trouble again. Someone informed me of a theory of something called a time share. Something about how these things aren't as many as we are, and they come and go. For awhile bothering one person, then leaving to annoy another.

I am excited to report that I am currently free, for the most part, of disturbances now. Once in a while I have an inspired dream, mostly wicked. But, for the most part, I am now drawing close to God and he has really helped me. I study the Bible and I have learned of God's enduring qualities and this has helped me. I just call on his name when I am feel threatened. I also have an unusual thing to tell you.

Sometimes I feel terror at night for a few nights before I experience a visit. I don't know how, but I just know, you know.

I respect the opinions of all. I do not think that peoples' minds aren't valid. I love opinions, because this offers some explanation to this.

Hope to hear from you soon.

First I want for coldethyl to know that her initial replys, to me, felt cold and sarcastic.
No one can tell me how to feel or absorb one's comments.
She started her insults to me by saying that I was sick and sad.
Her attitude towards me would insult anyone, in my belief.
So after my initial responces to her failed and she continued to insult me, I responded to her with the same or similar attitude. She is the aggressor, initiating this whole mess and I am on the defensive, being initially and continually bashed.

My last posting in reply to her was in my last posting that insulted her back.

She ofcourse, didn't like this.

I do not feel that I am the agressor in this. I didn't like your sarcasim towards me.
I am not someone to thrive on drama. I avoid it when I can. I have given you enough of my time and I am sorry REALLY for my previous posting to Daniella that addressed both Daniella and coldethyl. I AM sorry for letting myself do on to others what they have done to me. This isn't in my charector and I apologize for calling you little missy.

I already believe coldethyl will wipe my apology with dirt. This is what I believe. I may be wrong.
I already know she is probably going to respond by further insulting me. This is my belief and I do not want to insult her. Not anymore.

I realized that when some one is sarcastic and rude to others that this person is probably going through a tough time and is probably angry or even hurt.
I do not want to further her struggles.
I initially didn't consider this, and I assumed that she was just being mean to be mean. This could still be the reality. But, the chance that she might be angry for something else and not even realize it while stepping on others' emotions, is really normal and I don't want to fight by words anymore. I am a peaceable person, believe it or not.

I could be sarcastic by saying that I am sorry coldethyl for asking for your blows to my charector by posting my experiences, I am not going to take that route.

Though I am sorry for letting myself respond to COLDETHYL with offense.
I have given enough of my time on this matter and I will continue my postings on other things.
This topic after all isn't called
View this usless argument.

From now on, I am not going to respond to you in a negative way, no matter how you choose to respond to me.

And if I wasn't clear earlier on asking your opinions on why you firmly believe that my experiences weren't real, I am asking now.
I remember that you said that you believe that I made the whole thing up.
Okay--your reason for this is because you firmly believe that I was too cheerful at times.

I see where you are coming from. I just don't think that I should shut down all of my personality and my sense of humor. I do not mean this in a sarcastic tone or manner. I am just talking in sincere fashion. I also would like to know why this one thing would lead you to believe that I can't possibly be telling the truth?

One reason why I was able to joke around once in a while, was that most of these experiences accured when I was 14, 15 16 on a heavy regular basis. I was 20 and 21 when I started this topic. Hopefully you can see that a decent amount of time lapsed between my severe attacks and my postings.

At the time of my starting the topic Aliens, sexual experiences and Demons, I was experiencing things too. But these things that were happening weren't at the same degree to which I had become accustomed. These things still happen, just less frequently and not as badly as they used to be, because I learned how to HOW TO FIGHT BACK.
I think back to these hard times and can feel sick, scared, angry etc..
I was also going through some things, of lessor terror, when I started this topic.
I wasn't going through the degree of crap that I had previously experienced at the ages of 14, 15 adn 16, when I started the topic. This was how I was capable of joking around, AT TIMES.
You can't possibly know the time table of events automatically, and that is how I come to understand how someone could assume that all of these things were happening to me at the same time I started this topic.
I too, if I were reading someone's experiences would assume them to be of recent occurence and would find it weird if that person was capable of joking around at the same time these things were happening.

If anyone has any questions, just ask and I will gladly explain. I didn't realize how confusing things could get. Here I am explaining events to you all and not realizing how I come across, as far as time line is concerned.



I do sincerely appologize to you ethyl for not handeling my end of the discussion as polite as I usually would have and should have. I doubt this, but if I actually hurt your feelings in any way, I am sorry for that. It is not easy to say, other people could read this. You might think that I don't mean my apology, I do.

Jolene needs to get a grip and stop writing to ethyl as if it were a memo and just respond to what ethyl is saying. Jolene doesn't quote posts and then forgets what is said and then assumes WAY too much. If Jolene would quote ethyl's posts and then respond to them in kind, she just might find that yes they may be some sarcasm (like most of ethyl's posts) but that Jolene has read way more into ethyl's posts than what is actually there.

I do not know why Jolene chooses to respond to people in this matter but it is not progressive at all. Jolene keeps saying that ethyl called her sick and sad but has not once actually looked at what ethyl said. Ethyl even said it twice as to clear up any misconceptions but it appears that Jolene is a drama queen and refuses to hear anything other than what she wants to hear.

Jolene assumes that because ethyl didn't believe her story she is somehow deluded and hurt and struggling. Maybe ethyl just didn't believe it because ethyl doesn't believe in demons or aliens attacking people? It will not matter to Jolene why ethyl and others do not believe her, she will take it as a personal attack and accuse them of having something wrong with them or their lives because they don't believe in her.

Jolene seems to jump the gun a lot and read stuff into words that aren't there. Like in a lot of other aspects of her life I imagine. I find it ridiculous to post in this way but if it will make Jolene listen and be aware then maybe it is for the best. But I guess one benefit of this type of post is one can pretty much just write down one's thoughts on another without those pesky quotes of what they actually said getting in the way.

And no Jolene you didn't hurt ethyl's feelings at all but ethyl says 'thanks' for the apology for the name calling. Oh and don't be sure of what ethyl does and doesn't like, it is mighty presumptuous of you, Jolene.

I know your type well Jolene, your energy sucking pity party I'm a victim facade won't wash with everybody.

I don't know who messed with you in the past to have you think the same way about me. I am sorry ithat I came acrss to you to be such a bad person.

haha, your mask has slipped

Umm--what mask?

Okay I hardily have to read this person's topic to know it's an RC alike, the topic's title says it all, and as many of us know, good old Rosemary is after that sweet sweet attention she's always asking for.

I totally agree with Anvil on this one

I voted for number one. I've been studying occurences such as the ones I read about in your topics for a long time. I've known a lot of people who've been in situations quite like yours.

Hello Jolene,

I really think you are seeking attention, and that's all. You often refer to yourself as a third person, such as "Jolene's answer" instead of "My answer". Everybody who reads your thread/post could differ between a quote and your answer.
Your stories are somehow contradictive. You claim your ex-husband was a nazi, however he was also gay. While he might be a racist, I find it hard to believe he would be a nazi, as gays are hated by them.
You supported the doctors' results that you were sane, by mentioning that a sane husband wouldn't be married to an insane wife. Thinking that your ex-husband seemed to have had quite some issues himself, how would we know your current husband doesn't have some issues? And if we assume he is indeed sane, why can a sane person not be married to an insane person? There have been lots of stories in the past, in which an appearently normal dad and husband suddenly shot his family, etc. I am not claiming that you are insane, however the way you argue for your claims is not helping you.
Although, you only seem to agree with people who believe your stories. You thank! those people for believing you, but you are upset with everybody else.
Quote:
"I showed the picture to everyone in my class. I didn't say anything. They noticed her too. After everyone got excited over it, the two snobs in the class wanted a look. So they did, and both denied it. I would like to ad that they both think that they know everything and they both don't believe in God.
My conclusion, you see what you allow yourself to see. If something is just to difficult to except, you will not. Since they both believe that they come from monkeys, I can see how admitting to a ghosts existence would blow their beliefs aside."

Firstly you called the two people who didn't believe you snobs - before you even told us, that they didn't believe you (shall this influence the reader?). If you really consdier those two as snobs, why did you even bother showing them the pic? Surely their opinion would be not important to you?
But worse, you insultes people who "believe that they come from monkeys" - and emphasize those two don't believe in God.
I personally do believe in a God/Godess (not the catholic one though), but I do not judge other people's faith as long as they don't harm anybody. Although I do not believe in Adam and Eve, as for me the scientific explanation and proofs are just two convincing and I therefore assume the biblical story's purpose is a metaphor, I do believe in the paranormal and had many experiences myself, so did friends and family.
I wonder how you dare to claim that people who do not believe in Adam and Eve don't believe in ghosts? How did you come to this conclusion? That would mean that millions of people don't believe in ghosts. Maybe you should check Indian ghost sites, as especially in India many people believe in the paranormal - and many are not Christians!

For me you are a selfish, sad person. If you indeed had paranormal experiences, which I cannot deny, I suppose they are poltergeist experiences. They would fit in well, considering how much negative energies are within your life. This would aslo explain why you are always the centre of attention.

I honestly hope for you and especially for your young son that you get your life sorted. Continue with your therapy and accept that not everything that you believe to be true indeed is true.

Lucky

Good point LuckyGirl and I agree with what you write

Agreed!



Look! A Jolene standard, 'you don't agree with me so you must be struggling or messed up'....puh-leeeze get a new line Jolene.

i truly belive you...
your experiences are very similar to other things i have seen/read/heard...

I voted number 9 and second what coldethyl, Luckygirl1, Anvil and boltwave have said.

I wouldnt normally reply to a thread like this as i believe in letting humans interprate thier own experiences no matter where that takes them, but as its an actual 'let it spill' thread i will.

*If it were me, id seek continued psychotherapy, and id be heartbroken that i was experiencing delusions of such a magnitude that i didnt know what was reality anymore as many do.

As i said this is only if it were ME, i make no assumptions as to what youv been through at ALL. I would however suggest you look further into http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Schizophrenia , there is also a website that may be able to help http://www.schizophrenia.com/

I truly hope you find peace whatever the case, all the best