Full Version: The Birth Of A Candy Bar
haha that's cute.
LOL I seen that before! Funny! 
That blond joke was really funny. I have a blond joke, too. Is it alright if I post here? 
I say go for it! I love hearing jokes, haha. 
lol sweet. 
No offense to any blonds here!
There were two blonds on a shopping trip. They thought that they needed something to talk about, so when the first blond was in the dressing room she asked, "Hey, which do you think is farther: the moon or New York?". The second blond thought for a minute and answered, "Well, that's a silly question! You can't see New York from here!"
There were two blonds on a shopping trip. They thought that they needed something to talk about, so when the first blond was in the dressing room she asked, "Hey, which do you think is farther: the moon or New York?". The second blond thought for a minute and answered, "Well, that's a silly question! You can't see New York from here!"
^LOL, heard that before, but its still funny! Good work!
My favourite blond joke (sounds better in person, but still funny).
There's a blond in the woods who comes up along a traintrack. Before crossing she looks both ways to make sure no train is coming.
Looking up the track she sees a brunette hoping along the tracks. With each hop she says '21'.
Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'.
The blond is confused by this. Why is this brunette hoping from plank to plank along the tracks, saying '21'? The brunette hops past her and the blond decides to copy the brunette.
So, they both start hoping along the tracks.
Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'.
Suddenly the brunette hop off the tracks, and the blond is hit by a passing train.
The brunette hops back on the tracks, smiling.
Hop. '22'. Hop. '22'. Hop. '22'.
There's a blond in the woods who comes up along a traintrack. Before crossing she looks both ways to make sure no train is coming.
Looking up the track she sees a brunette hoping along the tracks. With each hop she says '21'.
Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'.
The blond is confused by this. Why is this brunette hoping from plank to plank along the tracks, saying '21'? The brunette hops past her and the blond decides to copy the brunette.
So, they both start hoping along the tracks.
Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'. Hop. '21'.
Suddenly the brunette hop off the tracks, and the blond is hit by a passing train.
The brunette hops back on the tracks, smiling.
Hop. '22'. Hop. '22'. Hop. '22'.
That was a great one, Burnside! 
That's the oldest joke i know, i've told it a million different ways a million times, and it's still good.
lmao i like that one 
lol, good jokes Anson!
ewwwww
But the hop hop one..,OMG SOOOOOOOOOOOO funny!
But the hop hop one..,OMG SOOOOOOOOOOOO funny!
Hey, that's funny! 
I have three blonde jokes
A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I'm gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.
"Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every
single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.
The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with
her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells
"Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her
composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told
you I broke every bone in my body."
The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss,"
he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is,
you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken
your finger."
A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I'm gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.
"Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every
single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.
The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with
her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells
"Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her
composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told
you I broke every bone in my body."
The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss,"
he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is,
you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken
your finger."
QUOTE(Anson_Kail @ Dec 23 2004, 01:52 PM) [snapback]420110[/snapback]
I heard this years ago... Hope it makes you laugh....
One Payday Mr. Goodbar wanted a Bit O Honey, so he took Ms Hershey out behind the Powerhouse and started undoing her Resess Cup. He found her Mounds and stated that it was pure Almond Joy. He ended up putting his Butterfinger in her Kit Kat as she screamed Oh Henery and grabbed his Chunkie. Rumor has it they had a Baby Ruth and passed out cigars made of Bubble Yum.
*hope this wasn't too off color for this forum. LOL
I have a similar one
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/37...+of+a+Candy+Bar
I didnt get burnsides joke >_< I must be blonder than I thought I was.
Heres one:
(No offence to the peoples who are religious)
Jesus walks into a hotel, Puts three nails on the counter and says to the guy can you put me up for the night.
(No offence to the peoples who are religious)
Jesus walks into a hotel, Puts three nails on the counter and says to the guy can you put me up for the night.
QUOTE(Blood Guts and Vengence @ Mar 2 2006, 01:16 AM) [snapback]1086121[/snapback]
Heres one:
(No offence to the peoples who are religious)
Jesus walks into a hotel, Puts three nails on the counter and says to the guy can you put me up for the night.
^ haha, that made me laugh
okay, one of the flagships of my blonde joke fleet
four blondes in a bar, sitting around a table, clinking glasses, and shouting loudly, "SIXTY TWO DAYS! SIXTY TWO DAYS! SIXTY TWO DAYS!" finally after an hour of shouting, drinking and laughing, the bartender can take no more, he gets up and storms over to the table, intent on quieting them down. but by the time he gets there, the curiosity has overwhelmed him, he asks. "ladies, ladies, what is all this about? sixty two days?"
"well," says the most boisterous of the bunch "that puzzle said 1-2 years on the side, but we finished it in SIXTY TWO DAYS! SIXTY TWO DAYS....."
four blondes in a bar, sitting around a table, clinking glasses, and shouting loudly, "SIXTY TWO DAYS! SIXTY TWO DAYS! SIXTY TWO DAYS!" finally after an hour of shouting, drinking and laughing, the bartender can take no more, he gets up and storms over to the table, intent on quieting them down. but by the time he gets there, the curiosity has overwhelmed him, he asks. "ladies, ladies, what is all this about? sixty two days?"
"well," says the most boisterous of the bunch "that puzzle said 1-2 years on the side, but we finished it in SIXTY TWO DAYS! SIXTY TWO DAYS....."
OK, a blonde, redhead and brunette are in the obstetrician's office. The redhead turns to the brunnette and says, "I think I will have a boy, because my hubby was on top when I conceived." The brunette, says, " guess mine will be a girl, because I was on top." At this moment the blonde bursts into tears, crying inconsolably. The other two girls calm her a bit and ask what is the matter. "I'm, I'm, (sob) gonna have a puppy!"
that's funny...it's no hop joke, or puzzle joke...but it's good.
Ok...
A blonde is driving along, listening to the radio, when the host starts telling blonde jokes. The blonde gets really angry, and begins to fume, turning off the radio. Just then the blonde sees another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a cornfeild. The blonde angrily got out of the car, and began to yell at the other blonde.
"You know, it's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name!"
The blonde in the boat replies hotly:
"If it angers you so much, why don't you come out and get me?!"
"I would, but I can't swim!!!"
I, myself, am a blonde, but I am not offended, because I too have my moments....
A blonde is driving along, listening to the radio, when the host starts telling blonde jokes. The blonde gets really angry, and begins to fume, turning off the radio. Just then the blonde sees another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a cornfeild. The blonde angrily got out of the car, and began to yell at the other blonde.
"You know, it's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name!"
The blonde in the boat replies hotly:
"If it angers you so much, why don't you come out and get me?!"
"I would, but I can't swim!!!"
I, myself, am a blonde, but I am not offended, because I too have my moments....
There's some great jokes there.
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