Okay it goes like this:


Someone asks a question:

Why do aliens come millions of miles to probe our anal regions?

Some gives a stupid answer and another question:

Because they ran out of humans on their planet.


This will start you off:

Why are UFOs saucer-like?

Okay I'll go on.

Because all the teacup ones crashed.

Why does Bigfoot hide from us?

becuz it was your turn t0o count




Why do people sew because off hot coffee?

Because coffee makes good yarn.



Why does the government cover up aliens?

cos they don't like their faces


why do aliens have a base on the far side of the moon?

so we won't spoil the surprise party plans.



why do aliens abduct people from their beds?

So they can use the beds for themselves, after so long flying here, there arms must be tired.

Why do the MIB wear fedora hats?

Because berets would just look silly...



How many elephants can fit into a Ufo?

It's never been done, their tractor beams are only strong enough to suck up people and cows!


Why can't aliens be caught on video??

They leave the kids at home, so no baby aliens to dangle off balconies.

(oops! then again... )



Why don't UFOs have bathrooms?

Because the pipelines that are long enough haven't been invented yet.

Why haven't aliens contacted humanity through channels of mass communication yet?

They have..... U never watched the tv shows first thing in the morning?



Why are Ghosts camera shy?

Because Aliens kknow they are ugly and they dont want their bloody faces at all Television documentaries....

Q.Why cant humans abduct female aliens? ...that wud be fun..

A; Because the female of the species are obviously way too intelligent to be caught by a mere male human.


Q; Why do "Greys" have huge eyes?

All the better to see you with.


how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb?

none because they don't use light bulbs






why do aliens feel the need to probe abductees?

to see if they are done yet


why can't ghosts get served in pubs/bars?

Ghosts can't leave home without an American express card.

Who is the alien's favorite earth actor?

They don't have favourites that would single out one of thier own kind


What's the matter with you if you hear voices?

You're on the phone?




How is it that poltergeists can move objects?

they use an object moving device called a hand.






Why dont ghosts haunt trees?

Because Dryads charge too much rent.


How do you get away from a werewolf?

Run and hope it gets it's foot caught in something.


What would happen if the Jersey Devil met El Chupacabra?

the mothman would show up and they would have tea!





Why dont you ever see the ghost of a ghost?

They fade out after the first copy.



How does the wolfman deactivate a bomb?

By crying out "whats the time mr wolf".








what did wolfman say to the vampire when he invited him to lunch?

"Hungry, Count? I hear there's a total eclips of the sun today...."



How does a vampire like his eggs cooked?

Simple, vampires don't eat eggs...they only drink blood...
Ok...there ain't much thought in that answer.

Why don't aliens bother to learn english instead of that crop sign language?

Why don't earthling's bother to learn our highly crafted crop circle language?




Why are smurfs blue?

now you wouldn't be feeling very happy if you were only 3 inches tall either

(and only had 1 female in your town).





Where would Bigfoot shop to buy shoes?

Same place all the basketball stars get theirs...

Do you think malevolent ghosts aren't really evil, but just plain p-oed?

I think they're just bored...


Do ghosts sneeze?

Of course! That's where ectoplasm comes from.



Why do vultures prefer carrion?

Because there aren't any drive-thrus in the desert.


What do you get if you cross a fairy with a goblin?

an ugly fairy


what's the difference between a male fairy and a female fairy?

the length of it's wand.


How could you tell if a Werewolf was friendly?

It won't turn you into one...


How would a skunk ape know the difference between it's scent, and a skunks?

It would use it's nose.


How many fairies can you fit in a mini?

Depends how short the skirt is...








Where does Golim keep his precious?

Somewhere it's easy for those tricksy hobbitses to find...


If faced with being mutilated hideously, or killed by a mad chainsaw wileding serial killer, how would you react?

Loudly .......



Why didn't the skeleton go to the Ball?

Because his tuxedo decayed with his skin...


Why don't aliens try to crossbreed with with chickens instead of humans?

How the cluck should I know?


If you were being attacked by a man-eating shark a mile from the beach,
what would you do?

I would wonder (whilst running away) how did it get in the middle of town....



Why have we never seen SuRaMaN's pic

Althalus wrote:

QUOTE

what's the difference between a male fairy and a female fairy?

KC replied:

QUOTE

the length of it's wand.

Hilarious

QUOTE (Celticwitch @ Apr 15 2003, 12:30 PM)

Why have we never seen SuRaMaN's pic

Maybe he is one of "Them" so if he ever showed us his photo, he'd have to kill us.


Would bigfoot women find it attractive if bigfoot men ever shaved?

Maybe they are hairy too so wouldn't notice


What would happen if you crossed a Yeti and a bigfoot?

You'd have a yeti with bigfeet.

Whats the best way to deal with a massive penguin consipricy, in which penguins are trying to take over the world?

Make sure u never take them out of the wrappers


who on the Forum do you think is an alien sent to spy on us?

If I told you I would have to dispose of you Celti


How do you make an Alien scream?